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S1 E15

Criminal Minds · Season 1, Episode 15

“Unfinished Business” quotes from Criminal Minds

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“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15

In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)

They do not suspect us of having set the bomb. Excellent.

Not so excellent, however, is the fact that it didn't work. That idiot trap fiend found a way to blow up my bomb, and the gang walked free. I would have destroyed my own company to get those Planispheric Disk pieces. These children are proving hard to handle.

We must find another way. Perhaps somebody close who can betray the kinder without them ever seeing it coming.

Of course. Brad and Judy.

Question is, will they be willing to betray their only son?

Perfect.

All the pieces of...

The Planispheric Disk are ours!

I believe it's time to put all of it together.

(The old gang goes to the lair and find that the pieces are gone, only DVD)

I don't understand.

Where are our pieces?

(Ricky plays the DVD on the DVD player)

(Video starts)

If you're watching this, you're probably wondering what's happened to your pieces of the Planispheric Disk. In a word, you've been scammed, conned, bamboozled.

That's 3 words, Fred, but I think they get the idea. We did this to you.

Yeah.

And we will be more than happy to tell you how we did it.

It was all an elaborate plan masterminded by your very own Freddie.

We created Krampus by borrowing Charlie the Haunted Robot and dressing him up in clothes we bought off German gypsies who live in Crystal Cove's haunted forest.

As for Krampus moving around, he was being remote controlled by Jason Wyatt, who agreed to help for lenience from the Mayor on his mother's sentence.

Like, Jason also helped create an invisible aerosol that was used to turn hair white and make it grow long for added effect.

We needed to keep you away from the vault. You following us following Krampus was the perfect way to keep you distracted so we could carry out our master plan: Breaking into Mr. E's vault.

Freddie planted a bug on Brad Chiles' clothing so that we could get the code to the vault.

And once we had that code...

We could give it to our operative. Someone with intimate knowledge of Mr. E's lair: Hot Dog Water.

(surprised) Hot Dog Water?

I still know how to get in touch with her.

Like, when Velma told Hot Dog Water what we had planned, HDW was in.

And while we stole the real pieces...

You were stealin' fake ones.

The real pieces were instead safely hidden with the one person no one would ever suspect: Fred's fake father, the ex-Mayor Jones.

My not-really-my-dad dad may have betrayed us once to get the disk pieces, but when he heard what we were planning, he was more than glad to help us take you down.

And, like, Mary Anne Gleardan also agreed to help us after the current Mayor offered her lenience on her sentence.

She really wants to go back to the 7th grade.

I guess I secretly hoped you guys might not try to steal the pieces from us. But I guess I always knew you would. Which leaves me with only one thing left to say: Real mom, real dad, don't expect me home for dinner. Ever.

And we're taking Nova with us, too. You don't deserve her.

(Video ends)

(The old gang is shocked)

Oh. Let's see what it looks like: The whole Planispheric Disk.

(The gang reassembles the pieces of the Planispheric Disk)

(The disk is shining)

Like, whoa.

It's beautiful.

We have the whole thing. That leaves only one question.

What do we do now?

(The next scene depicts the crystal coffin with eyes glowing beneath Crystal Cove)

CCCrystal coffin's voice

Nibiru. (laughs)

ZDr. Zin

(crying) I have failed you, my dragon. What bitterness to lose with the Quest-X power source in our grasp. It's all your fault!

DDynomutt

My fault? Gee, what'd I do? I hadn't a clue!

BFBlue Falcon

Allow me to elucidate, Dog Wonder. It's time you knew the truth.

(In the flashback, Radley Crown shoots the gun to Dragon, Dragon grabs him)

BFBlue Falcon

(narrates) You were once an ordinary but beloved security dog... until tragedy struck.

(The dog bites Dragon's back that explodes, dog loses consciousness)

(Next scene in the laboratory)

QDr. Quest

Radley, I was able to replace most of Reggie's damaged body parts with robotic replacements. Now, for the tricky part: the heart.

RBRace Bannon

But doctor, are you telling me you're going to power this dog with the most powerful generator on the planet?

QDr. Quest

He's a living thing, Race, and deserves no less.

(Flashback ends)

(Dynomutt chuckles)

But Dynomutt wasn't the only cyborg created in that explosion, was he, Dr. Zin?

ZDr. Zin

No. Stealing the Quest-X was to be a trial run for my greatest creation: the Dragon battle suit. So, precious was this invention, I trusted only one person to test it: my own daughter. The accident fused the suit to Jenny and has been feeding off of her life force ever since. How did you know?

The Dragon registered a heat signature on Mr. E's scanners.

But why the obsession with Dynomutt?

ZDr. Zin

Not the dog, the Quest-X inside! With that to power the Dragon suit, my Jenny would survive. But now...

BFBlue Falcon

I had no idea.

DDynomutt

Oh, my goodness gracious! Why didn't you say so? Never to busy to help a fellow cyborg with a jump start.

(Dynomutt uses a power cable to the Dragon suit)

BFBlue Falcon

Dog Wonder, no! The feedback could destroy you both!

It's gonna blow!

(The Dragon suit almost exploded with a flash, it raised and opened itself to release Dr. Zin's daughter, Jenny, she collapsed, Dr. Zin helped her)

JJenny

Father?

ZDr. Zin

Jenny!

Aww! Isn't that sweet? (giggles)

ZDr. Zin

Robot dog, meddling kids, man in bird suit, you have my thanks. I have spent so many years pursuing my evil plan of global domination, I sometimes forget the beauty of a simple act of selfless kindness. (Fred and Daphne smile at each other) (mocking) It's a pity you must all now be destroyed as this island explodes with the fury of 1,000 suns! (Both Dr. Zin and Jenny laugh)

JJenny

Good one, dad! Let's motor.

(Dr. Zin and Jenny escape with their jetpacks)

DDynomutt

Well, for an evil, crazed scientist, he certainly has a unique sense of humor.

Let's get out of here!

Yipe!

(The gang with Blue Falcon and Dynomutt escape the island)

But--

Stifle it, Chiles. Pericles has the floor.

So, the kinder still have the disk. You couldn't even manipulate your own son? Pathetic.

Fine. We failed.

That's right, Brad.

Not now, Judy. (to Pericles) Aren't you the smart one who should have seen through Fred's ruse?

Don't push me, older pretty boy. I want those pieces, and since you and your sweet, dumb bride failed me, it is up to you to recover them before people get hurt. (his paws break the table part)

Alright, Velma, start singing.

Uh. [sings; Friar Serra and His Donkey, Porto while playing the Acoustic Guitar. Daphne gasps]

Now, let's see who this ghostly monk really is. (unmasks Serra's face)

EEveryone

George Avocados? (The crowd is surprised)

That's Avoc--ah. Oh, forget it. That's right. It is me.

Yes! Finally! I knew you'd be the villain eventually.

All right, you got me. And I suppose you're wondering, after so many prior misdirects, why now.

Actually, no. Not really. We kind of always knew you were evil.

Hmmph! Okay, fine. Then my tale should not surprise. It all began after I failed in politics. I had no choice but to go into the family business: Farming avocados. Everything was going so well until you mystery brats blew up my crops. I then tried my hand at fortune telling. But when that endeavor failed... I fell back on the Avocados legacy of stealing other people's things. I located the Avocados diamond, stolen by my father. Turns out, it actually was disguised as a door knob, not on a door in Crystal Cove, but on a door at the Burlington Library. When I found out it was among the artifacts sent here for the production. I took a job as a janitor. I needed everyone to stay clear of the basement to give me time to look. I hid the body of Friar Serra in a closet and assumed his identity. Knowing this town's gullibility, I knew a ghost story would give me room to hunt. And I would have succeeded, TOO, if it weren't for Vincent van Ghoul.

VVVincent van Ghoul

Moi?

So the brown residue that was left behind...

That's right. Guacamole! Now, I want my diamond! (tries to grab the diamond staff but Daphne grabbed it)

Let me see something. This crystal is the diamond!

But, like, hold on. If you were the friar, how did you appear at the rehearsals?

I didn't. I assumed that was you meddling kids trying to trick me into revealing myself.

EEveryone

Huh?

FSFriar Serra

You are still in danger. The story of Crystal Cove is a lie. The donkey never tried to help save the town, but to destroy it. There were 4 of us and Porto in the Fraternum House Mysterium, a group of mystery-solving friars. We encountered a conquistador. He told us a tale of great evil before his madness got the best of him, and he vanished in the night, he left behind two oddly-marked disk pieces. We quickly became obsessed with the pieces. We realized that there was an evil at work. We attempted to destroy the pieces to rid us and the town of evil, but the evil would not allow us. The evil manipulated Porto. Porto set out to destroy the town. We chased Porto to the alligator-infested swamps, outside of town. Porto was dragged away by the alligators, but not before I was able to retrieve the one piece he took. The other piece, thankfully was lost at the bottom of the ocean when Crystal Cove sank into the sea. It was up to me, now, to hide the last piece. Beware, Nibiru is coming. This has all happened before, it begins with the animal. Always the animal. Heed the warning of the alligators! The dog dies! (Friar Serra's corpse crumbles to dust)

(gulps) "The dog dies"? Is he talking about me?!

Don't get too close. They still might have some alien brain-stealing items ready to deploy.

That might be true if they were really aliens, but they are, in fact, (unmasks the Grey, Nordic Alien and Reptoid) Traveler O'Flaherty, Sheela O'Flaherty and Connor O'Flaherty.

Ah, usually, we all recognize the villain and shout out his name in unison.

Yeah, Velm. Mind cluing us in?

I know all the criminals in Crystal Cove, and these jerks aren't ringing a bell.

Like, you had a wanted poster for them on your wall.

Oh, please. Nobody ever pays attention to those. What is this, the old west?

TOTraveler O'Flaherty

Were that it were, boyo. Then perhaps we could've earned an honest living. When I was a wee lad, we couldn't even afford peat for our fire. So I had to lift it. It turned out I was a right good thief, but then I discovered there were things I could steal other than coal, and wouldn't you know it, my kids had an aptitude for the family business as well. We started getting a reputation for our business, and there were our faces splashed all over the universe. Aye. 'Twas then we got the idea for the costumes because who'd ever say they saw an outer space creature stealing a flat-screen television set? I found out about the Blakes purchasing the Pangaea. Seemed like it was right up our alley, and we'd have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for you frittering snappers. (after a short silence) Meddling kids!

But I know what I saw: the aliens, the cornfield, my nose chip!

Actually, Sheriff, during your hypnotic regression, Shaggy and Scooby smelled something on your breath.

SSShaggy and Scooby

Bad clams.

The clams induced a hallucination that made everything seem real.

What about the lights on the road?

A weather balloon that got loose from the army.

And the Mystery Machine fritzing out?

Too many people turning on their air conditioners at the same time created an electromagnetic pulse that shut the Mystery Machine's engine down.

The crop circle?

A farmer writing "I love you", to his wife for their anniversary.

Aw, we must've been standing in the "O" of "love".

Or the "O" of "you".

It was the "O" of "love", Fred.

So I wasn't repeatedly abducted and experimented on by aliens?

Doesn't seem so, Sheriff.

Then I'm no longer a victim. And you, O'Flaherty family, are under arrest for THIEVERY AND IMPERSONATION OF INVADERS FROM OUTER SPACE, AND you're going away for a long, long time.

So, like, I don't understand. The Planispheric Disk led us to dig up this crazy old flintlock. Does that mean this is the treasure?

No. It might be worth a little something as an antique, but the cursed treasure of Crystal Cove is supposed to be immense beyond all imagining.

Like love.

Excuse me, Mr. farmer. What happened to your farm?

FFarmer

Farm? I ain't got no farm. It's gone, all of it. That horrible herd ate everything except the silo. (to Martha) Martha, we are leaving.

Like, did I just heard you say hear? I mean, uh, ha ha ha, hear you say herd.

Herd of what?

FFarmer

Skull cattle. Ugliest darn things.

Guys, look at these weird hoof prints. They don't make any sense.

FFarmer

If you really want to get all nosy about it, you should talk to the other farmers in the area. The herd paid them a visit, too.

So you're saying that this herd of skull cattle also destroyed your farms?

SFSullen female farmer

What's the matter with you? You got potatoes in your ears, huh?

Huh? Nope, not today. I once had luminescent swamp moss stuffed in my ears when I was trapping toads as a baby. But it came out. Eventually.

Ay. Please, go on.

SFSullen female farmer

Like a plague of locusts they was. Coming out of the night, they devoured everything in their path.

MFMale farmer

I reckon she's right.

I mapped all the attacks on all the farms in the area, and look, they create an outline of a magnifying glass just like the one the old Mystery Incorporated used as their symbol. It's centered around Destroido.

Cute little moo cows turned into horrible monsters. There's only one mind evil enough to come up with something like that.

SSScooby, Shaggy, Velma, Daphne and Fred

Professor Pericles.

Velma, is there anyway we can spy on the old Mystery Incorporated? Didn't you say Hot Dog Water hooked us up somehow at Destroido?

I almost forgot. Hot Dog Water left us a back door into the Destroido security system when she was there stealing the Planispheric Disk pieces.

Can you get more volume?

(Velma gets the high volume of the laptop)

You have gone too far this time, Pericles. Too far! (The next scene depicts the conversation of Ricky (Mr. E) and Professor Pericles) This macabre herd of skull cattle you've created is costing millions of Destroido's money. My money. And I currently have 28 of my best scientists listed as presumed missing.

SScientist

(heard in the other room) No, NO! AAAAAHH!

Make that 29.

Ricky, one cannot make a genius omelet without breaking a few worthless eggs. Right, Brad and Judy?

You said it, Professor Pericles.

He's a genius, right, Brad?

He sure is, Judy. He sure is.

And make no mistake, Ricky, I will break any egg that gets in my way: Ed Machine, Cassidy Williams, or perhaps even you. My herd of skull cattle is perfect in every way. I have crossbred cows, piranhas, and bees to create ultimate monsters. And I'm their master. My precious creations exist for one purpose: to devour Crystal Cove. My herd of male drones shall level this city to the ground, leaving nowhere for the Mystery kinder to hide the Planispheric Disk.

(The next scene depicts that the gang listened Pericles's evil plan)

Like, he's gonna destroy Crystal Cove!

Come on, gang. We have to warn the town.

Gang, this is all our fault.

Isn't it always?

Maybe we should just give Pericles the Planispheric Disk.

Like, no way. A treasure beyond all imagining in the clutches of an evil psychotic parrot?

Would be devastating on a global scale. Shaggy's right. There has to be another way.

Well, you Mystery dorks better decide quick because those nasty cow thingies sealed off the town completely.

Soon Crystal Cove will cease to exist and the Planispheric Disk shall be mine. THEN no one will ever stand in my way AGAIN. (laughs)

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