“Unfinished Business” quotes from Criminal Minds

Charlotte Hale

You've turned my world into a game.

Man in Black

It was already a game. I just cranked it to expert level.

Caleb Nichols

Your mother was extraordinary.

C

So are you.

C

I'll die before I tell you.

Clementine Pennyfeather

No. You will die after you tell me.

Caleb Nichols

I've died before. This isn't so bad.

Velma

Another mystery bites the dust.

Way to go, gang!

Daphne

Let's celebrate!

Yeah, celebrate. (Sheriff Stone closes the cell door)

Huh?!

Sheriff Stone

Better idea.

Aw, come on, Sheriff.

Sheriff Stone

Just cork it. You see this badge? Know why it's here?

Velma

It came with the shirt?

Sheriff Stone

It's here because if there's a crime, I solve it. (goes to the office door) Oh, and by the way, I've called all your parents, who by now I have on speed dial. (mocking) Oh, are you in trouble. Especially you, Fred. Say hi to dad, the Mayor. (leaves)

Daphne

Just once it would be nice if someone thanked us for solving a mystery.

Good thing we're not in this to be liked. (Scooby, Shaggy, Velma and Daphne look a little annoying to him) You know, that didn't come out quite right.

Velma

Welcome to the Crystal Cove haunted tour. I'm your ghoulish guide Velma. The first documented case of the curse of Crystal Cove is from 1630, when a garrison of Spanish conquistadors mysteriously vanished from the harbor.

Oh, that is so scary! Where did they go?

Velma

What part of the word "mystery" didn't you understand? The curse struck again in 1765 when an entire town of missionaries likewise disappeared. Anyway, things were pretty quiet until 100 years later, when Cletus Darrow found gold here and renamed the town Crystal Cove. Most people thought the curse had been lifted, until the entire Darrow family disappeared one Halloween and was never seen again. (Velma plays a tape of the Darrow family screaming) Moving on. (Velma leads the tourists inside to the exhibits) Since the disappearance of the Darrow family, Crystal Cove has been a hub of paranormal activity. You might recognize some of our more famous visitors. Ghostly deep sea diver Captain Cutler, Miner '49er, Charlie the Haunted Robot, and who could forget the terrifying stylings of Space Kook? Not me.

Oh! How frightening!

Oh! Absolutely blood-curdling.

Velma

Not really. They all turned out to be fakes. (The tourists gasp and talk amongst themselves) Yep. Captain Cutler, was just some guy who was hijacking boats. Miner '49er's real name was Hank. Charlie belongs to Mr. Jenkins who thought it would be easier to run an amusement park with a crazy robot. And Space Kook? Oh! Don't get me started! (Angie and Dale cover Velma's mouth)

Thank you, Velma. Well, that concludes the terror-ific tour.

Angie

Don't forget to stop in at the haunted snack shop for souvenirs and your complimentary undead sipper cup. (The tourists run off) What do you think you were doing?

Are you trying to destroy our business?

Velma

Reboot, parentals. I was just being honest.

Those were isolated incidents in Crystal Cove's otherwise-unblemished supernatural past of hauntings and paranormal happenings.

Velma

Your generation's belief, not mine. My generation, we only got one thing on our minds…

(tying his ascot) Solving mysteries and building traps.

Mayor Jones

That's two things, Fred.

You know what I mean, Dad. We just want answers. Is that wrong?

Mayor Jones

Tickling chin whiskers, Fred. The mayor's son is supposed to set an example.

I'm trying, Dad. In fact, just yesterday, I entered one of my traps in the district science fair. It was rejected for not actually having anything to do with science, but…

Mayor Jones

I just don't want you to make a mistake you'll regret.

You mean, like, making a bad trap?

Mayor Jones

No! Life is not all about traps. It's also about…

Pancakes and bacon.

Shaggy

And sausages and orange juice.

Don't forget to chew.

And breathe.

Shaggy

Like, thanks, Mom and Dad.

Yeah. Thanks, Mom and Dad.

Your mother and I are worried about this mystery phase you're going through. We're not saying find new friends. We're…

Yes, we are. Find new friends.

Shaggy

You guys have got nothing to worry about, man. Me and Scoob always play it safe. If there's danger…

We run fast, really fast.

Shaggy

And as for our friends, if you guys just gave them a chance, you'd see…

Daphne

The gang is misunderstood. We're just solving mysteries. All the kids are doing it.

No, they're not.

Nan

And what about this "Fred Jones?" Certainly, there must be other boys.

Daphne

Not like Fred. He's, like, one of those geniuses that no one understands until they're dead. He sees things different, and he wants to catch those different things in his traps.

Honey, we just want you to go on to have a rich career, like your sisters.

Daphne

That's Fred and the gang. Got to go. Don't want to be late for school. Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad. Bye, Daisy. Bye, Dawn. Bye, Dorothy. Bye, Delilah.

Hey, you sure you guys don't want any of this Fruitmeir's smoothie? Oh, it's delic… (leans to a wall, which breaks) Ahhh! What the whozit? Which one of you broke that wall?

We barely touched it.

Is that another sewer?

Impossible. There's only one sewer and we're in it. Unless…

We've broken into another dimension.

No, idiot. We've busted through to one of the old Crystal Cove caves.

(turns the radioactive drum and knocks on it, seeing there is something inside of it) Huh? I think there's something in there. What should we do?

Well, it's pretty clear, isn't it? Those are radioactive symbols, meaning what's ever inside is dangerous, meaning we need to open it right away. Don't want what's ever in there to mess up our schedule.

Hey, I think I see something.

Shaggy

(after being attacked by the slime monster) Zoinks! (laughs nervously) Like, what was that?

(getting out of the Mystery Machine) It looks like a mystery to me, and I think that's just a little more important than school.

Velma

These are military. From the oxidation, probably 30, 40 years old.

Daphne

(finds locket) Fred, I found something! (Opens locket and music plays)

Hmm, could be a clue. Good work, Daphne.

Daphne

Thanks, Fred. You're so sweet... (looks up. Fred has walked away, looking for clues) It's okay. We can talk later, um...

Sheriff Stone

All right, you see what happens when you kids stick your noses where they don't belong? People get cocooned!

Shaggy

Like, man, we found them like that.

Daphne

(trying to show what she means with her hands) Sheriff, there was a monster…

Sheriff Stone

Quiet. From this point forward this is a crime scene and future tourist attraction - stay out of it. (walks away)

Velma

I gotta stay out of it right here. (holds up fist)

Let me talk to him. (walks away)

Daphne

(dreamily) Don't worry. Fred will make him understand.

(runs back carrying body) Shaggy, start the car!

Shaggy

Like, I thought you were going to talk to him.

He wasn't in a listening mood.

Velma

(opens back of the van) So you stole a body? Rockin'. (Fred throws the body in the trunk)

Don't worry. I know just who can help us. (school bell rings)

All right. Who can tell me what photosynthesis is? (they all raised their hands up) And please don't say "plant farts". (they all lowered their hands) (sighs) (door opens and Professor Raffalo sees Fred and Shaggy carrying the body in the classroom)

Professor Raffalo, we need your help. (classmates scream and run out)

Emmanuel

Couldn't you kids have waited for break?

Shaggy

Is he…? (gulps)

Emmanuel

No, he's alive. But he appears to be in some sort of dehydrated stasis. I don't quite know what that means, but I'm guessing it's temporary.

(sees squirrel food) Mmm, Scooby snacks. (Opens the squirrel cage reaching its food, and the squirrel goes rabid and attacks Scooby)

Daphne

Do you know what could have done this?

Emmanuel

The cocoon material looks organic, but I'll need to do further tests. The sheriff okayed this?

Uh, of course he did. What, do you think we stole a body? That's rich. (laughs as he pushes the gang out the school)

Welcome, everyone to Fruitmeir's. Remember, it's not ice cream, it's not yogurt. (laughs) I really don't know what it is. Would anyone like a shrimping boat made out of circus balloons?