Criminal Minds · Season 1, Episode 15
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
Notice how it only affects the objects you point at, thus preserving the integrity of the space-time continuum.
[rewinding and fast-forwarding the girls] Ooh! It makes everything all time-loopy.
Might I suggest the frame-by-frame function? [presses a button, fast-forwarding the girls in slow-motion]
Oh, I could do this for hours!
Mr. Neutron, please! You're giving us massive brain freeze!
He sent us back 200 million years!
What's that, Jim?
He sent us back 200 million years!
How do like your eggs? Poached or smiley-faced? Or scrambled?
[low growling, slurping] Oh, Sam. I could eat your ice cream all day long. So I think I will. [rewinding]
[grossed out] Ew! That's disgusting! Horrible! Gross!
You've been re-eating the same ice cream for hours! It's disgusting- you're out of here!
[gasps] You're right Sam. Mustn't overdo a good thing. Well, I'll just be going. Just let me finish my Purple Flurp. [belches and repeats, still making everyone grossed out]
Gross. Stop.
[Hugh belches and repeats]
Sweet mercy. [faints]
Watch out for its retractable claws… unless it spits venom, then watch out for having your eyes dissolved.
Wha - how can I watch if my eyes are dissolved?
No, watch before they're dissolved!
Watch my eyes? That doesn't make any sense.
Guys, please!
Leppy!
Carl, no!
[The angry townspeople show up at the Neutron house, carrying Hugh home as Judy opens the door, and they all complain to her about what he has done by using the Quantum Reply to annoy them]
Hi, Sugarbooger! [as the angry townspeople set him down] Remember how I promised I'd never be brought home by an angry mob again?
He disgusted all my customers, yeah!
He gave us brain freeze!
He made me experience the miracle of birth again and again and again! [breaks down, sobbing]
Yeah, yeah, birth.
Alright, everyone. I'll handle things from here. [closes the door]
Somebody give me a ride home now.
Now, Sugarbooger, I know it looks like I may have misused the power to control time and space for my own advantage, but on the positive side…
Mm-hmm. [grabs Hugh by the ear]
Ow! Honey, that's my ear. I use it to listen with. Ow!
What a relief. All the changes we made don't seem to have altered the timeline. [enters the house] Mom, Dad, I'm back! [sees Hugh being put in a cage by Judy as punishment] Oh, no! We did alter the timeline! We created a world where human males are slaves to a race of female warriors!
Oh, no! [he and Carl run out of the house to Cindy and Libby]
Have mercy, mighty overlords.
Spare us and we shall serve you well!
[Cindy and Libby look at each other, baffled]
Sweetie, relax. I just put your father in there to keep him from annoying the townspeople. [to Hugh; sternly] Now, you were saying, Hugh?
[remorsefully] I'm sorry, honey. [Judy rewinds him with the Quantum Replay] I'm sorry, honey. [Judy rewinds him again] I'm sorry, honey.
[The device lands in Leppy's hands, and he points it at the viewers, rewinding the entire episode back to the beginning]
[surprised] Not again.
[Episode starts in Jimmy's lab; Jimmy is trying out his new invention, the Electro-Life to resurrect Carl's deceased, beloved goldfish, Swimmy]
Live. Live. Live! Oh, sorry, Carl. I couldn't bring your goldfish back to life.
[sniffles sadly; grieving] Goodbye, Swimmy. I'll miss you, boy.
Why must the good die young?!
Now I thought re-stimulating his brain waves with my new Electro-Life device would bring him back. But I guess not.
Jimmy, we might have a pop quiz today. Can I stimulate my brain?
No.
It's the circle of life, Carl. Everything dies… except Ultra Lord! He shall never die! He lives forever! Nothing can kill him!
[At Lindbergh Elementary School… Miss Fowl is holding a VHS tape box of Ken Burns' History of Mummies documentary which Carl screams in terror at the picture of a mummy]
Today, we will watch part one of Ken Burns' 97-hour documentary on the history of mummies.
Yawn. I'd rather chew off my own foot.
[whispering] No, I wanna check this out. My family tree goes back to Egypt. Mummies are cool.
[inserts the tape in the VCR] Butch, would you get the lights?
Sure thing, teach. [pulls out a slingshot and shatters the lights off]
[annoyed with hand in face] Thank you.
I don't wanna see videos of mummies. I wanna see real mummies!
Oh, I don't. They might rise from the dead and attack us!
[Miss Fowl presses a button on the remote, turning on the TV; As the documentary starts, she and all the other students (minus Jimmy and Cindy) immediately fall asleep]
"Dear Ahmadiyya, today I moved a one-ton boulder across the broiling desert sands. Then I had lunch. Then they cut my tongue out."
[gazes at a drawing of Egypt] What am I doing sitting here? I'm a science genius. [turns around to his friends] Who's up for a quick trip to Egypt?
What could be more boring than going with you to Egypt?
"Tonight, it is my turn to tell stories around the fire. This will be difficult without my tongue."
[makes up her mind] Let's roll.
[The kids all tip-toe quietly out of the classroom and into the hallway]
[quietly] I'll go home and get my hover car and meet you guys in back of the school. [runs off]
But, what if we get caught?
We're not gonna get caught.
Guys, we can't leave school! It's ditching, and it'll go on our permanent record!
Carl, how many times do I have to tell you? Your permanent record is just a myth. Like the Loch Ness Monster or North Dakota.
[Jimmy then arrives in his hover car]
[as his friends climb in] All aboard for Egypt!
Did you guys know I'm related to Cleopatra?
No. Why don't you tell us a fact for the ten-millionth time?
I'm related to the guy that invented baseball.
What?
Wow.
Really?
Oh, wait, did I say baseball? I meant spray-on-eyebrows.
Light speed to Egypt!
This better not be like the time you took us to the center of the earth and all we found was a bunch of hot dirt.
Oh, come on, guys. This is going to be a great adventure. We're going to find the lost tomb of Queen Hazabataslapya.
[The gang arrives in Egypt and Jimmy searches everywhere for Queen Hazabataslapya's lost tomb, but it's nowhere to be found]
Jimmy, I've been saying, "Toot Van Halen" for 3 hours. Can I stop now?
Way to go, Neutron. You haven't found anything. I'd rather be in school.
[disappointed] I don't understand it. I can't seem to find the lost tomb.
Duh! That's why the call it the "lost tomb," not the, here-it-is tomb: "come inside and have a milkshake."
Oh, Swimmy loved milkshakes.
Let's go home. I need to apply some emergency skincare products.
And so ends another chapter of the boring and stupid adventures of Jimmy Neutron.
But, guys, we're here in an exotic, distant, foreign land. We might as well have some fun.
Fun? Yeah, right. Let's have a party in this beautiful spot.
Party?
Uh, Jimmy? Where's the bathroom? All I see is sand, and I'm not a cat.
Sand? Yeah!
What's the matter with Jimmy?
He's got desert fever! Curse you, cruel desert! You've taken another victim in your sandy clutches! We must put him out of his misery.
How?
There's only one way.
Let's have an Egyptian Beach Party!
I'm in.
Always be prepared for any eventuality.
All my life I wanted to go an authentic Egyptian Beach Party!
Jimmy, what's happening?
The increased air friction has created a high-intensity displacement of the ground covering…
Cut to the chase.
SANDSTORM!
[After surviving a sandstorm, Jimmy gasps in surprise at something as Cindy scolds him]
[annoyed] Okay, Neutron, once again, you blew it, big time… [knocks Jimmy's head] Hey, Jumblehead, I'm yelling at you. [snaps her fingers in front of his face] Pay attention. What are you looking at?
[turns her head] The entrance to the lost tomb of the Queen Hazabataslapya.
You think there's a bathroom in there?
[pushing the doors open] We shall now enter the lost tomb and see what has been unseen for 3,000 years.
Shouldn't we like, call National Geographic or Harvard?
Or Harrison Ford?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
