Criminal Minds · Season 1, Episode 15
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
[seething at his computer] This "Wizard" program is the most...convoluted––
Yeah, we should record this. Use it to show how ineffective McLeod's systems are. This crazy budget type who has nothing to do with saving lives.
[grins at Mouch] Now you're talkin' like a union president!
[looks at Herrmann] You will not record this.
You think that woman knew her husband was a total scumbag before or after she married him
He could've pretended to be Prince Charming for years and she wakes up too late next to a monster under a bridge.
Was just talking to Shay and she told me the good news.
Good news?
Your new apartment. Sounds tight.
Oh yeah, thanks.
No problem. She did say it was a three-bedroom and you guys might be looking for a third roommate to, uh, defray the costs.
She said that?
[he and Mouch rush over to Otis and Severide] Hey! Yo, Otis! We agreed we were gonna come to him together.
Why do you even need a new place, Cruz? Your apartment isn't bad.
You spend a night in my neighborhood lulled to sleep by gunfire.
You try living two doors down from my mother.
Severide, this is exactly the kind of drama you won't have to deal with if you choose a mellow mature roommate.
Guys, it's just an apartment. You haven't even seen the place.
I can come by right after shift.
Me too.
Listen, this isn't cheerleader tryouts. You guys need to work this out amongst yourselves. [sees Boden] Chief! You got a minute? [quickly walks away]
[to Boden about the arsonist] You told him he wasn't worthy of this house so he's trying to prove you wrong, show you that he's smarter than you are and he isn't gonna stop until someone's dead.
Why are you two so eager to move in with Shay and Severide anyway?
The "residual" tale, Mouch.
The what now?
Ok, between Severide and Shay, think about how many beautiful women are gonna be parading through the apartment.
Imagine it. Severide is at the bar chatting up some babe, she's got a friend. Friend doesn't have to stop there. He'll say, oh let's take this back to my place where we can hang out with my awesome roommate Joe.
Brian.
Pathetic.
If you're gonna engage in a battle of wills with an eleven-year-old, you're gonna loose.
[shaking Mouch's hand] Nice. Firm grip. Nobody ever won an election with clammy hands.
The secret is, I wiped my palm on my pants.
You wanna go to Defcon 5, game day? I can go to Defcon 5.
Defcon 5 is actually the lowest level.
Shut up, Otis.
Go home, Herrmann, you've been on your feet all day. I'll finish cleaning up.
Thanks Dawson. Maybe I'll go pour myself a nice big tall glass of antifreeze.
What's vodka in Russian?
Vodka.
I know the guys in that house. They're good firefighters in a community that depends on them. My question to you is, is it a problem house or is there a problem chief?
We got to be really careful going forward. Okay?
Oh, yeah. I'm, like, a hostile witness now? Or what's the deal?
[laughs] I'm just saying, don't tell anyone, all right, until we make the pinch, because if Arthur finds out I'm a cop, then I'm a dead cop.
There aren't many things I hate more than unsolicited advice.
Aren't you in the middle of an election, Randall? You really think this is a good idea?
Beat it. [hands Spellman a pink slip]
[looks to Severide and Casey] Lieutenants, this how you lead your men?
[Severide and Casey produce pink slips, Spellman storms out of the lounge to Chief Boden's office.]
[Mills is handing out wellness test results to the men.]
Greg Sullivan can kiss my able-bodied ass.
Hold up, this can't be right. Herrmann has 1% less body fat than me?
Why are you so mystified? 'Cause I got a couple years on you?
[scoffs jokingly] A couple?
You know what? [takes off his shirt] Suck on this!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
