And the fact of the matter is this, is that The Rock knows this Sunday night, he has his work cut out for him. The Rock knows, he's got five other guys he's got to compete with. And even if The Rock has got to beat Kurt Angle, which means, [mocks Angle] "I'm gonna drink a big glass of milk, eat some chocolate-chip cookies and then maybe I'll take three Viagra." Or maybe The Rock has got to face Rikishi, beat Rikishi. [mimics Rikishi's admission] "I did it for The Rock. I did it for the people. I did it for..." oh, shut your mouth, you thong-wearin' fatty!
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
Or maybe The Rock has got to beat The Undertaker, the American Badass, beat him so bad, that one more he'll raise up... [does rising from the dead] "Rest in peace!" Or maybe The Rock has got to beat Triple H himself, which [copies HHH drawl] means-uh, he's got to beat The Game-uh, in the middle of the ring-uh. And he has a two-dollar slut for a wife-uh! [normal voice] Or maybe The Rock, has gotta beat... [wears SCSA woodland camo cap and makes Texan drawl] Stone Cold Steve Austin. Which means I gotta get in my, I gotta get my pick-up truck, drink some Steve-weisers, listen to some Backstreet Boys. And that's the bottom line, 'cause the Great One said so! [normal] One more thing, this Sunday night at Armageddon, The Rock is gonna do all he can to win the WWF title. If ya smell... what The Rock is cooking!!
[Vince McMahon wanted to deliver the State of the WWF Address, but gets sprawled on the ring thanks to Austin, The Rock, and the Undertaker]
[crouches down at Vince] Vince... jeez, not a good day isn't it? I mean, you've been Stone Cold Stunnered, you've been Rock Bottomed, hell you even went for the Last Ride! So I guess, there's really only one thing left to do. [pulls out Mr Socko and goes around the ring before going down on one knee. mouths off Mr Socko in tinny voice] Kiss my fat ass, Vince [normal voice] and have a nice day!
[Stephanie steps in to stop Kurt Angle, Edge and Christian, and Vince McMahon from beating down Commissioner Mick Foley]
Stop! Stop it! Stop beating up on Mick Foley. Mick I hope you're alright because I got something that could change your life forever. I hold in my hand documents from the Board of Directors that could very well change the face of the WWF forever. These papers clearnly state that since my mother, Linda McMahon, the CEO of the World Wrestling Federation, has been deemed mentally incompetent that the Board of Directors has no other alternative than to grant full power and authority of the CEO's office... [looks at Foley] to [changes voice] my dad! [Vince's face regains color as Stephanie give her the papers] Congratulations, daddy! It's official!
That's my baby girl, huh! Sorry, Linda, if you're in the hospital watching, business is business and since I now have complete and total full authority over the World Wrestling Federation, that means Mr McMahon is back! So therefore, with the power that is invested in me, Vincent K McMahon, it is my duty to inform Mick Foley that his services are no longer required. [motions to Foley as he slumps in the corner] In other words, Mick Foley, you bleeding huck of adipose tissue, YOU'RE FIRED!!
[A distraught Foley stands up but Kurt Angle fires a chairshot at him. Vince shakes hands with Kurt Angle, Edge and Christian, and leaves with Stephanie, but remembers something at the stage]
Oh, oh, and uh, just one other thing. Mick, Mick Foley... Merry Christmas!
KKKevin Kelly
Kurt, we saw what you did to The Rock on SmackDown! and we know your history together. Talk about where this hatred of The Rock comes from.
Kevin, I'm gonna tell you something I've never told a living soul before. When it comes to The Rock, I am jealous. It's true, I am. And why shouldn't I be? Do you have any idea what it's like to train for the Olympics? To put in years of your life for the privilege of honoring your country, representing the people, and then to defy the odds and actually bring home the gold, and then come here to the WWF, to a chorus of boos? While a guy like The Rock, a guy who couldn't and wouldn't represent his country, even if he wanted to, get standing ovations in every city across this country? It hurts. It hurts me right here. I am everything that The Rock is not. I'm kind, courteous, considerate, and yet he's the hero? Why is that, Kevin?
KKelly
Kurt, the reality is for whatever the reason, The Rock is the people's champion.
Kevin, let me ask you a question. You're a person, right? How's the people's champion treating you? Has your son asked you what a hermaphrodite is, huh?
Oh!
Did your wife think it was especially sexy when The Rock made you conduct an interview with your finger up your nose? Let me ask you, Kevin, a man of the people, who will you be rooting for when I face The Rock this Sunday at No Way Out? That's all right, Kevin, you don't have to answer. Your face says it all. You know, it's funny. You talk about lack of respect. Everyone thinks that WrestleMania is set in stone. The fans, The Rock, even this company. After The Rock beats me, it'll be Stone Cold versus The Rock at WrestleMania. The biggest WrestleMania of all time. Well I've made a lifetime of proving people wrong. And I plan to do it again. One more time. I will beat The Rock this Sunday at No Way Out. I will prove without a shadow of a doubt that I am more athletic, more talented, and more deserving of the people's admiration. And after I defeat The Rock 1-2-3 in Las Vegas, I will finally win the people over. It's gonna be beautiful. The people will stand. They'll give me a standing ovation. And my dream of finally earning their respect will happen. They'll have no choice. You know, throughout my life, my dreams have a habit of becoming a reality. And Rock, the reality is, my days of being on top aren't numbered. Yours are. And that, Kevin, that, America, is true.
Hello again, everybody, and welcome to the World Wrestling Federation. We're live here in D.C., I'm Jim Ross, and...
They already know who you are, so tell them who I am now.
I'm joined by Paul Heyman.
You're joined by Paul Heyman, because last Tuesday night, The Kat was released by the WWF, and her husband Jerry "The King" Lawler, to his credit, walked out right alongside with her. But where there's chaos, J.R., there is opportunity. And tonight, just like TNN threw off ECW for the WWF, the King is gone, and in his chair is Paul E., and the E is for EXTREME! How's that? Not bad, huh?
I don't know what I did to deserve this...
[cold opening]
[points to monitors] Well now here's the WWF, and here's WCW, there's Jeff Jarrett, and here we have the owner of the World Wrestling Federation - and now the owner of WCW. That's right, I, Vince McMahon, I have purchased - I own, my own competition and tonight, I have the ability to address WWF fans as to what this means. I have the ability to address WCW stars as to what this means to them, and yes, I have the ability to address WCW fans to what this actually means to them as well. Tonight, at the right time, there will be a special simulcast, and let me say for sure, [puts up index finger] one man will make history, [thumbs up at himself] and that's me. Vince McMahon. Now, as far as the Jeff Jarretts of the world are concerned, you know how Jeff spells his name "that's J-E-double-F"? Well, you know what hmm I would suspect that we'd spell it a different way after tonight, that would be "capital G, double-O, double-N, double-E... GONE"!
[as Vince McMahon comes down for the special simulcast with Nitro] They say that Alexander the Great sat down on a rock and cried, for he had no worlds left to conquer. Tonight, the Monday Night Wars are over, and the victor, the victor of the Monday Night Wars is clear, it's [refers to Vince as he just instructed Lillian Garcia to repeat her introduction of him] that man.
[Vince McMahon gloats over him buying WCW... but Shane appears, revealing that he's over at the WCW Nitro finale]
What's up Vince? Surprise Dad, you're in Cleveland, Ohio, and I'm here in Panama City Beach, Florida, standing in a WCW ring and as usual Dad, your ego has gotten the best of you. Your ego has gotten the best of you. I mean, Dad, you wanted to have the audacity to finalize this deal - WCW - at WrestleMania? You wanted to have the audacity to ask Ted Turner himself to come down and finalize that deal? Well, Dad, that's just the opportunity that I was looking for, because Dad, the deal is finalized with WCW and the name on the contract does say "McMahon." [WCW fans pop and Vince gulps] However, the contract reads, "Shane McMahon."
[Vince is openmouthed]
[on commentary] Oh my God! I don't believe it!
That's right, Dad, I now own WCW! And Dad, just like WCW did in the past--how it kicked your ass in the past and it will again. That's exactly what's gonna happen to you this Sunday, at WrestleMania!
JJim
I can't believe what we have just heard! Shane McMahon has bought WCW! And Mr. McMahon is in absolute shock!
[Vince McMahon calls his lawyers and makes his rage known over how Shane swept in for the WCW sale]
Do you attorneys just SHUT UP?!?! You listen to me, dammit! Look I don't care what I said, I don't give a damn what - how could you let that happen? How could you just [smashes glass] how could you possibly let that happen?!?! HUH?? You son of a bitch! You good for nothing! You ruined this whole damned thing!
DDDiamond Dallas Page
Undertaker! Like the Diamond Cutter, you never saw it comin'! Now those of you who know me are asking yourself the question why? Why did I, why did Diamond Dallas Page go after the Undertaker like this? Well I'll tell ya. I'll tell ya exactly why. Because if you wanna make an impact in this business, you go after the biggest, the meanest, the baddest dog in the yard. And once you find that dog, if you wanna get the very best of him, you make it personal - real personal. And then, hey, you find that dog's weakness. Well Taker, you are obviously that dog. And you've been telling people for years that this ring, right here, is your yard. We'll see.
But, up to a few weeks ago, Taker, you have never shown weakness. I mean, NEVER shown weakness. That is, up until a few weeks ago when you told Stone Cold Steve Austin that if he ever, ever messed with your family, you'd make him famous. Duh! Taker, you idiot, Stone Cold Steve Austin's already famous! But it did get me to thinkin'. Good God. When you said what you said about your family, Dead Man, you didn't sound so dead - as a matter of fact, you sounded very alive. And for you, son, that's a sign of weakness. Taker, think about it. Remember when you used to say, "I've slept through things that make most people's hair turn gray." Remember that? Okay, you didn't say it exactly LIKE that, but you remember that. You also said you weren't afraid of anything. FOUL! I'm gonna call you on that right now. Taker, I'm callin' you a liar! Oh yeah! Oh yeah I am. 'Cause take a look at him now - he's runnin' around his house, lockin' all the windows, lockin' the doors. I can just see him now, calling Vince McMahon this morning. "Mr. McMahon, I can't possibly come in and compete tonight - I can't leave my wife Sara - there's a madman - there's a stalker trying to get to my wife Sara!"
You're scared to death! How's it feel, son? I tell you what, there is a positive side to this. Diamond Dallas Page has made your wife Sara famous. And speaking of famous, nobody, and I mean NOBODY, deserves to be more famous than the King of Ba-da-bing, the Master of the Diamond Cutter. NOBODY deserves to be more famous that ME: DDP! Because my whole life, I've wanted to be since I was eight years old, my whole life people have been tellin' me, until you've been to the shizzow, until you've been to the show, until you've been to the very top of our business, you're never really famous. So Taker, trust me, I'm using you to get the top of this business, and you can take it to the bank, whether I gotta buy a ticket or not, I will see you at King of the Ring. You gotta problem with me? Cool. Taker, I'm beggin' ya - make me FAMOUS!
Billy (Gunn), since you're not really doing anything lately, I was wondering if you could do me a favor. If, in two years' time at the King of the Ring, I'm not defending a title or even in a match, and my very special assignment is to go to WWF New York and eat a meatball sandwich, then please just shoot me in the head.
ASAl Snow
[walking backstage] Did you see Tough Enough last Thursday?
HHHardcore Holly
As a matter of fact, I did, and Al, you did a great job, even though I should've been there to help.
ASAl Snow
I couldn't agree more...hey, what...what's going on here?
[They walk up to find several wrestlers around the APA table.]
Hey, guys, guys, listen up. WCW, now here's a company that, when you came knocking, that wouldn't answer their door for you; here's a company that wouldn't return your phone calls; here's a company that said you wasn't [sic] talented enough to work for them. Then all of the sudden, when the wells run dry and they have to pay for those million and a half dollar homes and those brand new BMWs, those brand new Mercedes, they come running their asses here for us to save 'em. Well, guess what. This is the WWF. We all helped build this house. Now all of the sudden, they want a piece of the pie? I say hell no.
WCW wants to walk into our house, a house we built, a house you all built? You guys are on the World Wrestling Federation roster; it took some of you years to get here. But you're here now, and that means you're the best in the world at what you do. And now, these guys from WCW, because they couldn't make it on their own, want to come ridin' piggyback off of us 'cause we're the only show in town? Well, let's make this perfectly clear. Diamond Dallas Page, Booker T, Mike Awesome, everybody from WCW, you can go straight to Hell. We'll meet your ass there, we'll kick it there too!
Whatever you thought about us in the past, whatever you think about us now doesn't really matter. We've stood alone before. What I'm asking you is this. We're asking you to show why you're on this roster, we're asking you to stand up for what you have built. There's going to be a fight. I know there's gonna be a fight because we're gonna start it! There's gonna be some beer gettin' drunk, there's gonna be some asses gettin' kicked, but most of all, it's time we got medieval on somebody's ass!
[During the Kane/Chris Jericho vs. Lance Storm/Mike Awesome.]
Jericho's got the Walls! [Rob Van Dam and Tommy Dreamer enter from the crowd and attack Kane and Jericho, with Storm and Awesome joining in] Hey, wait a minute. What the hell? Hey, that's Rob Van Dam and Tommy Dreamer! They're former ECW guys!
Yes, they are!
What the hell are they doing here? There's security; get these guys outta here! What the... what is this?! The 4-on-2, this... there's two WCW guys... Paul, what the hell is this about?
PPaul
You tell me. It's Rob Van Dam! RVD!
Well, business is picking up here! Here comes the WWF backup! [Tazz, Raven, Rhyno, Justin Credible, and the Dudley Boyz enter the ringing facing off against RVD, Dreamer, Storm, and Awesome] And now business will change! The WWF guys are here!
PPaul
[pause] Yes, they are.
The ring is full of WWF spirit!
PPaul
[as the six turn around towards Kane and Jericho] WOO! Feel it, JR! Feel this moment for the rest of your life! Feel it.
[All ten attack Kane and Jericho]
Wait, what is this? What the hell is this?! My God, I don't believe this! It's 10 or 12-on-2! Why are the Dudleys, why are Tazz [sic] beating up their own teammates of the WWF?! And what are Tommy Dreamer and Rob Van Dam even doing here?! What the hell is this about?! What is this about?! Kane and Jericho are being decimated!
PPaul
Spicolli Driver by Tommy Dreamer!
Paul, what in the hell is this about?! Kane... oh, come on! Kane being held by... what are these?
[Dreamer holds a chair in front of Kane's head, RVD delivers a spinning heel kick, better known as...]
PPaul
Oh, my God, it's the Van Daminator!
"Van Damin..."? Damn it, Paul, what the hell is this about?!
PPaul
You want to know what this is about?!
Yeah, I wanna know!
PPaul
I guess you want answers!
I damn sure want answers!
PPaul
You want answers?! Well, I say you finally deserve, JR, a damn answer!
PPaul
Well, I guess now it's time, JR, that you want the truth! So, JR, tonight, I'm gonna give you the whole damn truth! I have been sitting, I have been sitting like a damn corporate sellout next to that damn pig! And I have been talking, I have been talking about WWF vs. WCW. I have been spilling my guts about this invasion. And it seems to me like everybody has forgotten the Tribe of Extreme. It seems to me like these men were too extreme for WWF vs. WCW. It seems to me that [pointing to Mike Awesome and Lance Storm] this man and this man have left Shane McMahon's WCW. It looks to me that these six men have left Vince McMahon's WWF. It looks to me like they all have joined [joined by the crowd] E... C... W!
So Vince or Shane, anytime you guys want revenge, we'll take on the WWF, we'll take on WCW! We're not hard to find because this Invasion just got taken to the Extreme!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.