Criminal Minds · Season 1, Episode 15
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
[Elizabeth, John, and Rodney are discussing the whale-like creature Rodney has been studying]
And how do you know...he's a he?
Oh, because I cross-referenced the renderings in the database with the whale outside, and, you'll see, the males have a rather prominent, um-
[interrupting] Oh, it's okay, I might-I'll take your word for it.
(Talking about Kolya and his men) What if they burn down the village out of spite?
Well, that'll be petty of them.
Yeah well, they're like that.
So I finish off the last Wraith guard and I turn around and I look at the Queen and I say, 'You know, if you were twenty pounds heavier, you’d look like my ex-wife.'
Normally if Dr. Esposito weren't around, I doubt you would have been as reckless as you were.
Are you insane?
Which one is Esposito?
Oh, the long dark-haired...
Oh, right, the one with the perky little...
Do you mind?! We're trying to work here.
For the record I was gonna say 'smile'.
Ya, I'm sure you were.
One more time: mysterious energy pulse from a device created by the Ancients. I mean, who knows what kind of long-term effects I could be in for? I mean, there’s gross mutation, giantism, invisibility...
That would be cool. I turned into a bug.
Alright. Like I said, as far as I can tell, he’s as healthy as a horse. I’m clearing you for active duty.
What are you insane?! Look, I need to be put under guard. Who knows what I could become?
What are the chances it could make him more pleasant?
What else can you do, besides telekinesis?
Well, super-hearing for one. And, I'm not sure, but I think I may actually be getting smarter. It's hard to say for sure because I was pretty smart to start with, but recently I've been having thoughts that I don't think even I would have thought of before.
Does super-ego count as a power?
[A nurse arrives with a tray of food]
Oh, finally! Look, keep it coming.
We may also be dealing with a super appetite, but it's hard to tell because he ate so much before.
[Weir and Sheppard walk into the chair room to talk to McKay.]
Rodney, we need to talk.
[Rodney deactivates the chair and reads their minds]
What do you mean I’m gonna die? I’m not even sick! I feel great -- never better!
That Ancient device...
[Reading his mind] ...has accelerated my evolution. [Reading Weir’s mind] Eventually I’ll reach a point where I’m physically capable of ascension, but ascension takes more than that -- there’s a mental component. I need to know how to make it happen... which I don’t. [Reads Ronon’s thoughts] Yet!! I’m getting smarter by the minute, it’s a pretty good assumption I’ll be able to figure it out on the way. [Rodney reads Weir’s mind again]. OK, so it’s not as easy as that. Well, even if I don’t, so I stay a highly-evolved human. I mean, I don’t have to ascend, it’s a choice, right? [John grimaces slightly] No? What do you mean, no? Oh, that stupid Ancient device doesn’t work properly, does it? [He reads Elizabeth’s mind again] It’s set in motion a series of genetic mutations that will result in my death if I don’t ascend?!
[To Weir] There is something easier about this.
That’s why the Ancients didn’t put it into common use, it’s just one more in a long line of abysmal, over-ambitious failures! Oh God. I’m a dead man!
You know, we could be a team! You could be my sidekick!
Sidekick.
Yeah, like Batman and Ronon. Has a nice ring to it.
You keep eating like this, it'll be more like "Fatman".
Yes, I'm me! I'm my old self!
Are you certain?
Ya, I'm alive. I feel--I feel great--I feel--uh...um...hungry...
He's fine.
He’s giving his people way too much technology for their level of development. [Points at Rodney accusingly] I’m not the only one increasing my army, by the way.
I had to do something to protect the people of Geldar from you.
Geldar?
The name of Rodney’s country. He named it after a girl he stalked in college.
I did not stalk her. We dated twice. Teresa Geldar -- a very cute blonde. I always used to think her name reminded me of some kind of a mythological land - "The Kingdom of Geldar".
[A man rides through Geldar on a bicycle]
Oh yeah! That’s something you see in a medieval village!
Yes, well, the Renaissance obviously came early to these folks.
A couple of hundred years early?
[regarding Rodney]
Why do you refer to him as the Oracle?
The Oracle is a wise and omnipotent deity.
[to Ronon] Boy, she’s in for a rude awakening.
[Elizabeth walks into the "Game Room" to find Lorne and Zelenka arguing. They are unaware of her entrance.]
Absurd!
What are you talking about? It’s a perfectly reasonable request!
Oh yeah. Perfectly reasonable! I give you all of my food and my people starve.
[Elizabeth walks deeper into the room and sees the two of them on either side of the ‘games’ console. Radek is already on his feet and now Evan stands up to shout at him over the top of the screens.]
I am not asking you for all of your food! Plus, I did say that we would make a deal.
[sarcastically] A deal. Oh yeah. Baskets.
Big baskets! Two dozen of ‘em, hand-woven and very nice.
Oh, very nice. What am I gonna put in them, huh? Certainly not food!
[Elizabeth, still unnoticed by the two men, folds her arms and looks at them angrily. They continue to bicker, getting more and more agitated with every remark.]
You know what? I think you’re holding out on me. I think you have plenty of food.
Are you calling me a liar?!
No, I think you’re trying to squeeze me for a better deal, that’s what I think.
I have got nothing to hide! Now, if you’re ...
OK, OK, so maybe I’ll send some of my army troops down and we’ll have a look!
[very angrily] What the hell are you two doing?
[The two finally notice her presence and look down, ashamed. Both of them are wearing expressions akin to ones that you would find on the faces of children who have just been found stealing cookies from the cookie jar.]
I thought I gave specific orders to stay away from this device.
[quietly, ashamed] Yes, yes, you did.
We just saw that there were some people in trouble and we thought that maybe that we could...um...help.
No! No more help. Clearly we are not qualified!
I’ve done everything I could to achieve peace with you.
Really?! Such as?
I sent gifts of goodwill.
[horrified] You sent crates of citrus fruit! Citrus! Do you have any idea what an insult that is to my people?!
It didn’t used to be.
OK, see, I think I know where that comes from. Did M - the Oracle tell you that citrus fruit was bad?
He made us aware of its toxic properties, yes.
Everything is toxic to you! [to Elizabeth] If they’re not busy insulting us, they’re complaining about contaminated food, improper hygiene. Even the sunlight is dangerous to them!
I am sorry, Herick, but we have scanned the surface of your planet. If your world was at war with the Wraith, the war was lost many years ago.
More like centuries. I mean, there is nothing down there but ruins and plant life.
Dial up the sensitivity a notch, all right?
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