Very good, Lieutenant. Remarkable, really. You take control very well, all the way. I'd swear you'd taken my course.
Oh no, sir. Oh no, never. It's just that I enjoy the pleasure of the game.
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
Very simple case. Not that I'm particularly bright, sir. I must say I found you disappointing, I mean your incompetence. You left enough clues to sink a ship.
Oh, you killed him with a phone call, sir. I'll bet my life on it.
Really, you have a morbid streak, Lieutenant. I should have suspected that.
Thank you very much, sir. I'll explain to Mrs. Columbo how my condition is work dominated.
Well, I think she might have guessed.
JDJoe Devlin
Do you know these lines, Lieutenant? They're by Lewis Carroll. "You can charge me with murder or want of sense. We are all of us weak at times. But the slightest approach to a false pretense was never among my crimes."
Well, sir, you pretended to raise money to help the Irish victims and all the while you were planning to make more victims. Wasn't that a pretense, sir?
JDJoe Devlin
Politics makes liars of us all, Lieutenant.
There once was a fella named Finnegan,
Who escaped from a jail, so to sin again
He broke laws by the dozen,
He even stole from his cousin,
So the jail he broke outta he's in again.
There once was an old man from Lyne. He took three wives at a time. When asked why a third, he said, "One is absurd, and two of them, sir, is a crime."
Forgive me, ma'am, for being indelicate like that but you know all the years that I've been doing this kind of work I still don't know how to make it sound inoffensive when one person kills another.
A rare old bird is the pelican. His beak can hold more than his belly can. He can take in his beak enough food for a week. I'm damned if I know how the hell he can!
JDJoe Devlin
We execute traitors, Mr. Pauley. Didn't you know that?
This far, and no farther.
Excuse me, sir. I couldn't resist trying your pinball machine. I guess I tried a little too hard. But that's an old problem with me, sir — the way I keep steering and pushing and pulling at things. Someday, the whole sky's gonna light up and it's gonna say, "Tilt". And that's gonna be the end of the world.
Always remember, it's a trick. Keep that in mind and you can figure out how it's done.
[referring to the workshop, and demonstrating one of the tricks] The whole place is one big magic trick. You can't believe anything you see.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.