All right, team! Let's not give up hope now!
N5Numbuh 5
No problem. Because Numbuh 5 gave up hope a long time ago!
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
Did anyone bring a 2x4 technology chain cutter?
LLenny
They're onto us! Do you guys happen to have a plan "B?"
The Kids Next Door always have a plan "B!" [presses a soda-can-shaped button labelled "PLAN B" with his fist and a S.U.B.S.T.A.N.D.A.R.D. submarine drops out of the helicopter and dives into the ocean] Run silent, run deep, Numbuh 2.
N2Numbuh 2
Aye-aye, captain.
Lenny, you're an idiot.
WMr. Washer
Hey, Ace, what can I do for you today?
N2Numbuh 2
Hey, Mr. Washer. Do you have any model train sets or something?
WMr. Washer
Model trains? But you're a major flyboy. What happened?
N2Numbuh 2
I got blown out of the sky like a million times by someone better than me. That's what happened. I'm hanging up my wings.
WMr. Washer
Hey. The Hoagie I know loves flying too much to quit.
[on the phone] Hello, my children. I have an assignment for you. So listen carefully. One of those meddlesome Kids Next Door shall be visiting her homeland. Once there, she plans to rendezvous with the secretive Japanese Kids Next Door. Your mission is to track the operative until she leads us to the Japanese Kids Next Door headquarters, then send their coordinates to my formidable ninja army. Contact the ninja only when you are certain you've located the Kids Next Door lair. Ninja charge by the hour, and I'm not made of money. You got that? I have handpicked you because you are my most skilled agents, my most foolproof villains, my most relentless trackers, and above all, my most devious masters of disguise.
ITInteresting Twin Brother
Rest assured, Father. The Interesting Twins…
ITInteresting Twin Sister
…From Beneath The Mountain…
ITInteresting Twins
[in unison] …Are twice as good as you require. Failure is an impossibility.
[The Interesting Twins and Father all laugh evilly]
Decommisioning?! I'm nowhere near 13 years old!
UMr. Uno
Nigel, don't stand up in the boat, Laddie.
N8Numbuh 86
That's what they all say, Nigel!
86, you know how old I am. We went to kindergarten together!
N8Numbuh 86
And since you won't remember anything that's been said, I'd like to say something on a personal note. [To Numbuh 4, shyly] I've, uh... heh, um... well, uh... always thought you were kind of cute, Numbuh 4.
N4Numbuh 4
[smiles, says hopefully] Cute enough not to be decommisioned?!
N8Numbuh 86
Not even close!
N8Numbuh 86
[swipes the envelope out of Numbuh 1's hand] Give me that! [opens the envelope and reads what believes to be an invitation; disbelieved] This is an invitation to Numbuh 274's… [gasps in shock] 13th birthday party!
N2Numbuh 274
I told my parents I didn't want a stupid party!
CCree
Finally, the Kids Next Door Moonbase. Now, I can detach it from the moon, and send it into the sun! Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha!
N2Numbuh 274
I already tried that. It didn't work.
CCree
Crud. Time for Plan B.
N2Numbuh 274
Thought you could use some help?
CCree
Sure, kid. Come on.
N2Numbuh 274
I'm not a kid! I'm a teenager.
[Numbuh 4 has just told Numbuhs 1, 2, 3, and 5 that he is going to boarding school.]
Boarding school?!
N5Numbuh 5
That's serious business, man.
N2Numbuh 2
You'll never make it out alive!
N3Numbuh 3
Oh, you poor thing!
N4Numbuh 4
Relax. They haven't built a boarding school yet that can hold me.
[A school bus drives up behind Numbuh 4.]
N4Numbuh 4
My parents try to put me into one every year-
[The school bus door opens behind Numbuh 4.]
N4Numbuh 4
-and I always bust out by midnight.
[Two women grab Numbuh 4 by each of his arms.]
N4Numbuh 4
Hey!
[The women throw Numbuh 4 into the bus. They enter as well. The bus drives off, with Numbuhs 1, 2, 3, and 5, watching on.]
N3Numbuh 3
[Cheerfully] Bye, Numbuh 4! Send me a funny post card, okay? [Giggles]
[to Numbuh 3] I thought you said it would be a small bad guy party!
N3Numbuh 3
This is not good! I'm gonna need more than one happy barbecue Rainbow Monkey to make this many people happy!
GET 'EM! [he and all the other villains chase after Sector V; as they head to a garage] Stupid kids! You can't hide in my garage! [stops running; realizing] Wait a minute. I don't have a garage.
[As Sector V escapes the villains' barbecue after realizing there were too many villains to handle]
Well, that was a bust.
N4Numbuh 4
Tell me about. Did you see all that food those guys had back there?
N4Numbuh 4
[hallucinating for hunger] Hey! Give me back my cheeseburger!
[Numbuh 5 wakes up to see three members of Stickybeard's crew standing before her. A member holds out a chocolate bar.]
N5Numbuh 5
Ch- Chocolate? [Snatches the chocolate bar from the crew member] Ha! [Flips to her feet and takes a bite out of the chocolate bar] Alright, you cannon-filthin' freaks! [Takes another bite out of the chocolate bar] Who- Who wants a piece of Numbuh 5?!
[Laughing] Easy there, lassie. Fighting's no way to thank Old Stickybeard for saving your gumdrops.
[Numbuh 5 looks up to see the Great White Asparagus on the ship. Two crew members pull Numbuh 3 out of the Great White Asparagus.]
N3Numbuh 3
[Disgusted] Eww! [Sees Numbuhs 1, 2, and 4 eating from a pile of candy, excited] Yay! [Dives into the pile] Candy!
N2Numbuh 2
Hey, Numbuh 5, you should try these caramel cannons.
N5Numbuh 5
[To Stickybeard] Why'd you save us, Stickybum?
[Laughs] I might be out to destroy you Kids Next Door, but I'll be dipped in chocolate before I let a blasted vegetable do anyone in.
CCrew
Ar!
Ah, but don't you be getting too comfy though, lass. Once we're free of this cursed sea of vegetables, it is back to being mortal enemies for you and me.
N5Numbuh 5
[Pulls out a blurpleberry lollipop from Stickybeard's beard and gives it to him] Ah, put a pop in it, Stickybun.
[Takes the blurpleberry lollipop from Numbuh 5] Ooh, blurpleberry! [Tastes the blurpleberry lollipop]
[Numbuh 5 and the crew laugh. The pirate ship sails off into the sunset.]
[To Numbuh 5] Say, lassie, ye wouldn't mind keeping this business of me saving ye quiet from the other villains, would ye? They wouldn't invite me to next year's barbecue if they found out.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.