OOfficer
Ian Gallagher? Mikhailo Milkovich?
Yeah, I'm Ian Gallagher. Can I help you, Officer?
OOfficer
Got some bad news for you. Your PO was found dead this morning. Paula's dead? Fell out of a third-floor window. Detectives want you both to come down to the station today, make statements.
Why? We don't know anything about that.
OOfficer
Whenever a PO dies, detectives interview all the parolees, especially if the death was suspicious.
OOfficer
Well, people usually open a window before they jump out it. See you at the station. Bring Milkovich.
[In backyard lane] Mickey? Mickey! Hey, come on out. Cops are gone.
[Chuckles] No shit. Is it Christmas?
It's not funny. Someone threw her out a window.
You kidding me? That's extremely funny. There's, like, a fսcking verb for that.
I- I'm serious, Mickey. They want us to go into the station for questioning. You know anything about this?
Nah. fսck, no. I didn't kill her. Wait. Do you know something about this? No. That what you're telling me?
Wait, what stra- I- I didn't kill her.
Little bit, you did, though.
No. Not little bit. I did zero murdering of my PO last night, Mickey.
I'm not the one who came home late without any sort of explanation.
I did explain. I was with my dad.
No. You didn't explain why you were with your dad.
Exactly. Okay, so, to be clear, you didn't kill her, or, you know, you "didn't" kill her"?
Why are you putting shit in weird fսcking air quotes?
Because I didn't fսcking kill her.
Okay. Me neither. We both know what we know we know... that we know. [Mickey starts walking away]
What the fսck does that mean? Hey. Where you going?
[Scoffs] Wouldn't you like to know?
I- I- I would. I would like to know!
[Opens hotel door to Debbie] Debbie? Hey.
Uh... I was just wondering why you gave me this last night.
Oh, I'm sorry. Was it not enough? Here, come in. Come in. Just, um- my wallet's right over there. Just take whatever your rate is. I wasn't sure.
[Closes door and scoffs] Claudia, I don't have a rate. I'm not a prοstitսte.
You're not? Why were you sitting with all the prostitutes, then? You know, they call that hо Corner.
I did not know that. [Chuckles] I just met you, and I thought I liked you.
No, you weren't a freebie, because you're not a john and I'm not a prοstitսte. I just thought we hit it off.
Oh! Well, I thought we had a connection, too. So this is a misunderstanding?
Great. Um, I have to get to work, but can I take you out on a proper date later?
[Pulls open shower curtain of Lip ablutions] Hey, you seen this? Jesus! It's the hospital bill. Childbirth, emergency surgery, ICU...
That's after insurance. I mean, how are we gonna pay this? [Hands Lip a towel and he sighs] Here.
That's easy. We're not. We already brought him home. What are they gonna do? Take him back?
Well, they delivered our baby and saved my life.
Yeah, and that was their choice. They didn't give me the option of leaving Fred in the oven or letting you die on the operating table.
So you would've let me die?
I mean, if I knew it was gonna cost us four grand...
...yeah, maybe. [Chuckles] Look, we have to pay this.
Isn't not paying your bills stealing?
No. Charging us money while your life is on the line, that's extortion. Right? Hmm. We're, uh, Robin Hooding, you know? We're stealing from the rich, giving to the poor.
So, what, so you steal stuff?
[Chuckles] I don't know. It's a long list.
Okay, well, like, uh, food from the grocery store?
Yeah, like food from anywhere.
[Sigh] That a real question?
No. But, uh, never say never.
No, you're just... exactly the role model I always wanted for my kid.
TNTV news reporter
Next up, a Florida man was found dead today, facedown in the lobster tank of a Tampa grocery store.
OOopie
[Setting down bowls of cereal] Here you go. A proper breakfast. The sugar in this cereal will kill you. In your case, however, I suspect that your lifestyle will kill you before your diet does.
Was that Mickey this morning?
With a twink named Byron.
You know, like Ms. Del Rey's kid. Yoga pants and glitter. Eh, not always. But yeah, sure.
So if you tell someone you're not marrying them, that means they can sleep with other people?
No. But Mickey's emotional IQ is lower than Carl's actual IQ.
Shit. You're fսckеd, dude.
Nah, he'll work it out of his system and we'll talk it out like adults. It'll be fine.
[Comes in door with Lip] Hang on to your wallets, everyone. Lip is here.
OOopie
Oh, there's my gorgeous niece. Prettier- mwah- than Megyn Kelly and smarter too. Oh, objectified by America and sexually harassed by your bosses? It's every girl's dream. Megyn Kelly? A blonde news host.
She thinks Santa's white.
Hey, did I hear a girly bike pull up this morning?
Oh, so you leaving him at the altar, that's become a thing, huh?
I- I didn't leave him at the altar.
LLLiam and Lip
Yes, you did.
I mean... It was City Hall. We were only getting married to outsmart the cops.
OOopie
You made the right decision. Marriage is a sacred union between a man and a woman.
What's that smell? Self-righteousness.
No. The air smells...clean.
Where is Frank? Haven't seen him in a while.
Enjoy it while it lasts. He'll be back to stinking up the place in no time, right? [Sets do Freddie in kiddie pen] Oh, there you go.
[A video recording justice court judge plays while Frank is asleep tied down to a bed]
TV justice judge: Frank Gallagher, the court reduces your charge to a misdemeanor and sentences you to 30 days in rehab. The deviant thug who tried to steal this bright young man's future, Kyle Holmes, I hereby sentence you to 45 years in prison. Sentences you to 30 days in rehab. Forty-five years for possession. Thirty days in rehab. Forty-five years....
FFaye
[Turns off TV] Good morning. Do you need a diaper change? Please let me go. As soon as you admit what you did to my poor Kyle.
I told you, I don't remember who Kyle is.
Maybe if I had a drink. I'm a lot more lucid when I'm drunk.
FFaye
Sounds like a lovely idea.
Is that a Balvenie? Thirty year? [Claudia then begins to pour out bottle on floor] Don't! Oh, don't! Don't! Don't! No, please, don't do that!
FFaye
Tell me what you did to Kyle.
Do you have any idea how many millions of brain cells I've destroyed since the '90s? I'm so sober right now, I can't even make anything up!
I don't remember! I don't! I'm sorry, but I don't. [Breathes heavily]
FFaye
You really don't remember?
FFaye
Then I'm gonna have to make you remember.
[On the phone] Bring your chastity belt, Jerry, because I am going to fսck everybody who had anything to do with this shit show of a deal, starting with you! [Debbie wakes up and Claudia sighs, leans in to kiss her] Oh, I'm sorry, pussycat. Did I wake you? [Chuckles] Mm. Ugh. My lunch has turned into a teleconference with Dubai. Can I impose on you to do me a favor?
Great. Um, can you pick Julia up after school?
My kid. Oh. Did I not tell you about her?
[Laughs] No. [Claudia chuckles] But that's cool. I didn't tell you about my kid either. Franny. She's four.
[Walks to Debbie and turning around for her to do up her dress back zipper] Oh, God. They are so perfect at that age, aren't they?
[Sets down plate for Claudia] Here you go. An omelet with... Oh. Asparagus, mushrooms, and cheese from a goat. Sounds weird, but it's actually pretty good.
[Scoffs] It's just an omelet.
It's beautiful. You're beautiful. I love having you around. I love being around.
JJulia
[Walks by naked] Gonna hop in the shower. Sounds good, honey.
Jesus Christ. You're never gonna fix the fսcking thing, Byron. No one that rides a Vespa can fix anything.
Something happen to your little bike thingy?
BByron
Yeah. It's a Vespa, and... it stopped working all of a sudden.
What the hell are you doing here?
I came to drop off some of the stuff you left at my place.
And I was hoping that we could talk. In private.
You know, anything you got to say to me, you can say in front of the... love of my life, Byron.
Mickey. Okay. It was a mistake coming. [Turns to walk away]
BByron
Yeah. Hey, Ian, you want to come check out a show tomorrow? [Ian turns to walk back]
Jesus Christ. Read the fսcking room, Byron.
BByron
Yeah. It's the Imperial Mammoth. I don't know if you've heard about them. They're- they're, like, my favorite band right now.
Wait. Wait, yeah, yeah. They're the, uh, the hipster shit with the suspenders and the- the harp and all that, huh? Yeah, you're going to that?
BByron
I can get you on the list, too. I mean, I don't know if you need a plus- one or whatever-
Nah, no. He don't need a plus-one. Trust me, he's got a lot of, uh, what'd you say, "personal work" you needed to do before you'd be ready to play the field?
No. No. Uh, actually, I just took a page out of your playbook and attached myself to the first swinging dіck I saw. We barely know each other, but, pfft... man, it has been a fairy tale so far. It's actually why I came here is, uh... Looks like we both moved on, so no reason for things to be awkward, right?
Yeah, it all happened so fast, but when you know, you know. Right?
GCGuidance counsellor
[Liam enters office] Sit down. We don't have current proof of residency on file for you.
GCGuidance counsellor
So... how are we supposed to know you ain't committing fraud so you can go to this school?
You think someone would commit fraud to attend this shithole?
GCGuidance counsellor
My job is tied to how much paperwork is completed and how many files are current, so if your dad, Francis Gallagher, could just bring us a copy of his valid state-issued ID.
[Scoffs] He doesn't have a valid state ID.
GCGuidance counsellor
Okay, then copies of two utility bills in his name. All right, then he's gonna have to come in and sign this form attesting to his residence. If we don't get this, I'll have to remove you from school while we investigate this as a fraud case.
A vacation from this school? What's the downside?
GCGuidance counsellor
Any student removed from school triggers an automatic review by CPS. See the downside of a month or two in a state-run group home?
[Before flashback scenes] Ah, you wanna see what happened last week?
No, no, you know what? Fuck- Get outta here. We're not tellin' you sh¡t. Go- go, go, go.
Shoulda watched the last time.
[Pacing around outside Gallagher residence] Mickey! I know you're in there, you fսck¡n' homo! Hey, Mick, You faggy fɑggоt! You're never gonna marry that Gallagher queer, you hear me? Mickey!
Hey, you want a Pride parade?! Yeah. How 'bout I slice off your pansy dicks and stick 'em on a fսcking float?! [Mickey walks out door] I got a little conversion therapy for you! You suck a dіck, you die.
Would you shut the fսck up?! You're annoying the shit outta everybody!
Well, if it isn't the little shirt lifter. Just want you to know- you marry a man, Imma put a fսcking bullet in your head! Simple as that!
Why wait, bitch?! I'm standing right here, Charlottesville. [Terry draws his firearm and Mickey draws his] Oh, look at that- we must shop at the same gun show.
The fսck happened to you?!
You know what they say- the apple doesn't fall far from the tree!
It does if it lands on a dіck!
Aw, please, stop. I get it, all right? You're proud a me.
You must really love cock.
Don't say I didn't warn ya, cocksmoker. [Walks past Mickey, shoulder bumping him]
So when you moving to Milwaukee?
You don't sound very excited about it.
Yeah, well... it is Milwaukee. Free house, though, right? Yeah, I mean, it's a nice house. Nice neighborhood. Yard. Well, damn. Jackpot. Saw an actual birdhouse with birds in it. Uh, not drսg. Birds.
So, how's your dad? You know, don't think he's gonna be my best man.
Hey, what's up, punk? Ready for school?
Can't go to school until Frank signs a form.
Just drop out. I can't drop out. I'm ten.
Give it to me. I'll sign it.
I can fake Frank's signature.
School says that he has to sign it in person.
Well, you know where Frank is?
Living with some lady up in Glencoe. He drives a Rolls Royce.
Oh, good for him. Anyone want to go with me?
LILip, Ian and Mickey
No.
