Hurting? Try traumatized. I finally become leader and wind up sending all my friends to their deaths. I-I know I did what I had to do, but I hated it. When we first started this team, I was desperate to be in charge. Not anymore. And-and that's not even the worst of it... You can't tell Batman.
I always wanted - expected - to-to grow up and-and become him. And the hero bit, I'm still all in. But that thing inside of him, that thing that drives him to sacrifice everything for the sake of his mission, that's not me. I don't want to be the Batman... anymore.
M'gann, you're a Martian. Not using your natural abilities is like me refusing to speak. Which, by the way, I tried for a while after my very first Canary Cry. Nearly deafened my entire First Grade class. So I get how you feel. But not being yourself is never the answer. And it won't make your feelings of guilt go away. Learn from what happened. You uncle would be happy to train you. Practice until you have more control, and regain your confidence.
Here's the ugly truth. I wasn't devastated. Even when Superman, Tornado, you: the whole League dead. Even though I didn't save Wolf, watched Artemis and Kaldur die. Abandoned M'gann. I felt - at peace. You see from the moment I first opened my eyes in that Cadmus pod, There's been one more thing that I've wanted and feared. To know what is to be Superman. And I know. So I was - I was happy. Everyone I care about dead or traumatized, and I'm happy. How do I get past the guilt of that? How do I live with myself?
I'm not convinced. Sure you two, and Kid Flash are above suspicion. But I know Artemis isn't shooting straight. For starters, she's not Green Arrow's niece.
Enough. Artemis's relations may indeed make her suspect. But she's entitled to a secret identity. I'm more concerned about Superboy. We still know very little about what Cadmus programmed into their weapon. Conner could be the mole, and not know it.
Their ridiculous garb and rudimentary skills indicate instruction from Green Arrow and Zatara. Harm will study these two to learn methods for killing their mentors.
