STSkwisgaar & Toki
[at the same time in constant rhythm, sometimes getting faster] Stops copies me! Stops copies me! Stops copies me! [repeats]
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
Oh oh, we gotta get some bait! They got pretty big fish down there, get some big worms, and... you know what, get snakes. Snakes are the biggest worms out there.
OOffdensen
I'm sure there'll be plenty of snakes down there. It's the Amazon.
There you go, penny-pinchin' again.
Did you know there's an Amazonian catfish that can swim up your pee and lay eggs in your ding-dong?!
OK, that's it, I'm done eating, alright, just... augh... that's gross!
You can mock me but watch out when you pee!
Just back off, alright? This is a horrible combination of beef jerky breath and repulsive information, OK? I'm not interested.
Fine, but you've been warned. You've been warned, Pickles!
[Sunbathing naked] Feel that jungle air, wind just whistlin' through...
Hey, I makes some sandwiches...[Spits out sandwich and drops plate] Oh, Murderface!
Oh, man...MURDERFACE, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
My god, you are so repressed.
It's got nothin' to do with repressed!
How abouts this, I solves the problem--puts your shirts back on!
Okay, your wiener, it's disgusting how it's all gnarled, it's like you stuck it in a hornet's nest!
Well I happen to play bass with it, there's callus buildup.
I don't need to look at it!
It's like Amazon boat-rash or something. Can I please just take a leak before I pull my shorts up?
Fine, go ahead, but just promise to never do this again, okay?
Oh god, now I can see your ass! It's like cottage cheese!
Just let me do this...
Quick questions, do you shaves yours ass, because you gots a lots of stubbles goings on there.
Quick answer, fuck you!
Work out or something, that's a problem area.
AAAAAARRRRGGH!!!
[whispering] Hey, whatcha readin' there?
[whispering] Nothin', just...hey man, why don't you brush your teeth?
Murderface [whispering] You can't brush your teeth in a library, that's ridiculous.
[excitedly] They're getting yopo!! If we're gonna die, we're gonna die high!!
Ate her husband in soup...
That is so totally Cannibal Corpse.
Beware! General. General Crozier. You are dead.
[talking about being governor] We don't fill out paper work, and fill out government forms, and wear suits and ties like...grr, dildos! [realizes; to Offdensen] No offense!
OOffdensen
None taken.
Nathan Explosion is now the governor of Florida!
This is an outrage, how can we stop this?
Consider what the people would do, General.
I think it's time that we go to purple alert! [a purple light begins randomly blinking and a buzzer sounds whenver the light is shone]
OOffdensen
Being governor has its advantages. You could be quite powerful.
Oh really?! And I could just put all my friends in charge of everything, and I could just rape and pillage the economy, and line my pockets with money, and I could go mad with power?
OOffdensen
You actually could do that, you know... it's technically-
I WANNA BE IN CHARGE OF THE NATIONAL GUARD!
Alright you got it!
I WANTS TO HELPS PEOPLE!
YOU GOT IT!
I NEED A SECRETARY!
YOU GOT IT!
I WANNA BE THE AMBASSADOR OF CHINA!
YOU GOT IT!
I wants no parts of dis, dis ams craps! Governments!
Dude, Skwisgaar, you know that Florida has the highest population of old ladies in old lady homes?
You could be in charge of old... you know what!
Then, I WILLS BE IN CHARGE OF DATS! DEMS OLD LADIES!
YOUUU GOT IT!
Get me the weather burrow...uh, bureau.
WOWeather Official
But that's where we are, sir.
Excellent, outstanding, good. I command you to destroy the hurricane.
Yeah, use your weather controlling machines!
WOWeather Official
People can't destroy hurricanes, sir.
Alright, uh... Knock it off course. Do that.
WOWeather Official
I'm afraid that's impossible, sir.
Dammit! We've tried everything.
Not EVERYTHING... (everyone stares at Murderface)
Well, not EVERYthing. I mean, not LITERALLY "everything"...
Well, I didn't mean literally everything.
You SAID literally everything!
OOffdensen
Have you activated the emergency alert system?
Oh I hate that, that "beeeeeeeeeeep!"
Oh yeah, that "beeeeeeeeeep!"
AMAll Members
"Beeeeeeeeeeeeeep!"
Nope, no way.
WOWeather Official
All alert systems have been looted and robbed.
They stole the "beep?!"
Why woulds they steals the "beeps?"
People are so low.
I'd steal that.
What the fuck do you guys even do here?
WOWeather Official
We name the hurricanes, sir.
You name the hurricane, that's your job?
WOWeather Official
What should we name this hurricane, sir?
Name the hurricane. Huh. Uhhhhhhhhh....hmmmmm. How about....uh...Scrambles? Scrambles the...uhh...the Death Dealer.
OMOld Man
[staring at Nathan Explosion's statue] Best fucking governor Florida ever had! [gets shot]
[holding a press conference] What am I supposed to be saying? What am I supposed to be saying? Hey, what am I supposed to be...oh right right right. That governor guy, he said I shouldn't have a holiday or something? Fuck him, right? Fuck that guy.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.