JJanine
You lied to me. You lied and lied.
I exploited the fact of our connection.
JJanine
When? Just once would have been nice.
Oh. I was waiting til we got married.
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
(panting with rage against Mary) I've got a better question: is everyone I've ever met a psychopath?
(short pause) Yes. Good that we've settled that. Now--
SHUT UP!! And stay shut up, because this is not funny. Not this time.
I didn't say it was funny.
(turns to Mary) You. What have I ever done? Hmm? My whole life, to deserve you?
Everything.
(steps towards Sherlock threateningly) Sherlock, I told you. Shut up.
No, I mean it. Seriously. Everything, everything you've ever done is what you did.
Sherlock, one more word and you will not need morphine.
You were a doctor who went to war. You're a man who couldn't stay in the suburbs for more than a month without storming a crack den, beating up a junkie. Your best friend is a sociopath who solves crimes as an alternative to getting high. That's me, by the way. (waves hand) Hello. Even the landlady used to run a drug cartel.
(surprised) It was my husband's cartel. I was just typing!
(offhandedly) And exotic dancing.
(insulted) Sherlock Holmes, if you've been YouTubing--
(losing patience) John, you're addicted to a certain lifestyle! You're abnormally attracted...to dangerous situations and people, so is it truly such a surprise that the woman you've fallen in love with conforms to that pattern?
(voice breaking) But she wasn't supposed to be like that. Why is she like that?
Because you chose her.
Why is everything...always...MY FAULT?!? (kicks a chair aside ferociously)
(flees into the kitchen, horrified) Oh, the neighbours.
John, listen. Be calm and answer me. What is she?
My lying wife.
No. What is she?
The woman who is carrying my child who has lied to me since the day I met her.
No. Not in this flat. Not in this room. Right here, right now, what...is...she?
Okay. Your way. (resentful) Always your way. (places a chair in front of Mary) Sit.
Why?
Because that's where they sit! The people who come in here with their stories. The clients. That's what you are now, Mary. You're a client. This is where you sit and talk and this is where we sit and listen and we decide if we want you or not!
I've thought long and hard about what I want to say to you. These are prepared words, Mary. I've chosen these words with care.
Okay.
The problems of your past are your business. The problems of your future...are my privilege. That's all I have to say; that's all I need to know [He throws her USB stick in the fire] No, I didn't read it.
[crying] You don't even know my name.
Is "Mary Watson" good enough for you?
Yes! Oh my God, yes.
Then it's good enough for me, too.
[they embrace]
All this does not mean that I'm not still basically pissed off with you.
Mm, I know, I know.
I am very pissed off, and it will come out now and then.
I know, I know, I know.
You can mow the sodding lawn from now on.
I do mow the lawn.
I do it loads.
You really don't.
I choose the baby's name.
Not a chance.
Okay.
HMrs Holmes
Are you two smoking?!
[The Holmes brothers whip round to face their mother, hiding their cigarettes behind their backs]
No!
[simultaneously] It was Mycroft!
I have, by the way, a job offer I should like you to decline.
I...decline your kind offer.
I shall pass on your regrets.
What was it?
MI6. They want to place you back into Eastern Europe. An undercover assignment that would prove fatal to you in, I think, about six months.
Then why don't you want me to take it?
It's tempting, but on balance, you have more utility closer to home.
Utility! How do I have utility?
Here be dragons. [coughs on his cigarette] This isn't agreeing with me. I'm going in.
[amused] You need low tar. You still smoke like a beginner.
Also...your loss would break my heart.
[Sherlock chokes on his cigarette]
What the hell am I supposed to say to that?!
Merry Christmas?
You hate Christmas.
Yes. Perhaps there was something in the punch.
Clearly. Go and have some more.
One false move and we will have betrayed the security of the United Kingdom and be imprisoned for high treason. Magnusson is quite possibly the most dangerous man we've ever encountered and the odds are stacked incomprehensibly against us.
But it's Christmas!
[With a huge grin] I feel the same! [sees John's expression] Oh, you mean it's actually Christmas.
Sherlock, what do we do?
MMagnussen
Nothing! There's nothing to be done. Oh, I'm not a villain, I have no "evil plan". I'm a businessman, acquiring assets. You happen to be one of them. Sorry, no chance for you to be a hero this time, Mr. Holmes!
Oh, do your research. I'm not a hero, I'm a high-functioning sociopath! Merry Christmas! [shoots Magnussen in the head, then drops the gun and raises his hands to the police helicopter] Get away from me, John! Stay well back!
CHRIST, SHERLOCK!
So...here we are.
William Sherlock Scott Holmes.
Sorry?
That's the whole of it. If you're looking for baby names.
The game is over.
The game is never over, John. But there may be some new players now.
John, there's something I should say, I've meant to say always and I never have. Since it's unlikely we'll ever meet again, I might as well say it now.
[A dramatic pause]
Sherlock is actually a girl's name.
...It's not.
It was worth a try.
We're not naming our daughter after you.
Did you miss me?
[After Sherlock Holmes is sent off, and Jim Moriarty returns]
[Man hands Sherlock a telephone]
Mycroft
Hello little brother. How's the exile going?
I've only been gone four minutes.
Well, I certainly hope you've learnt your lesson. As it turns out, you're needed.
Oh, for god's sake, make up your mind.
Superb! Suicide as street theatre, murder by corpse. Lestrade, you're spoiling us.
The bride's face, how was it described?
White as death, mouth like a crimson wound.
Poetry or truth?
Many would say they're the same thing.
Yes, idiots. Poetry or truth?
We all have a past, Watson. Ghosts. They are the shadows that define our every sunny day.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.