It sure is easy when they tell us when and where they're committing their crimes. What boobs.
Hello?! These boobs have ears!
Oh! Sorry, Chameleon.
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
[on-screen] It is I, Larry, leader of Genius Larry's Order of Mayhem, otherwise known as: "G.L.O.O.M."
No offense, but "Larry's" not a very scary name.
Oh, all right. Then from now on, call me…Murray!
[Kitty and Chief gasp in shock]
Okay, Murray, you've got our attention. Now, just tell us your diabolical plan, so we can arrest you go out for brunch.
MMurray (Larry)
Ah! But that's the twist. I'm not gonna tell you my diabolical plan. Murray, out!
MMurray (Larry)
As soon as the sun goes down, I'll plunge this city into darkness and chaos and rob Petropolis blind! Then we can finally afford our own lair!
That'll be great! I'm sick of runnin' into Snaptrap's mom in the bathroom. [he and Murray (Larry) quiver in disgust]
Freeze, G.L.O.O.M. agents!
MMurray (Larry)
It's T.U.F.F. agent Kitty Katswell! Blast her with the fog machine! [Francisco mistakenly takes out the sewing machine] That's the sewing machine!
Well, well, if it isn't the big bad G.L.O.O.M. agents and the super-scary Murray. I mean, Larry! I think someone owes me an apology.
[in a quarantine bubble with a red stuffy nose] That's some nose you've got, Agent Puppy. I can't smell a… [stutters] thing. I have such a… [stutters] bad cold, I've quarantined myself. [sneezes and gets mucus all over inside the bubble] That's the last time I lick a hand-rail at the hospital. [an alarm suddenly goes off] Uh-oh. I'm getting intel that the Stink Bug is on the loose!
Who's the Stink Bug?
A diabolical bug villain who stinks, duh! It's right in his name. Because of his rancid smell, we drove him out of … [stutters] town.
Actually, we just told him to take a shower, but he made a big stink about it and left, vowing revenge!
Well, he's back, and he's robbing the Limburger… [stutters] Cheese Factory. [sneezes]
SBStink Bug
I told you, I DON'T shower! [gets in Percival's face] YOU ARE THE WORST EVIL INTERN EVER!
PPercival
Oh, evil intern? I must've missed that in the job description.
Put your hands up, Stink Bug! [Stink Bug raises his hands and his underarm odor melts her and Dudley's blasters; disgusted] Oh! Okay, put em' back down!
She was the prettiest girl until that horrible accident that left her hairless.
This stinks! Now my classmates are going to think I'm a loser.
Well, with any luck, everyone in your class will be a loser, too.
LBLunch Lady Bug
No one is leaving till you all clean your plates! And by "clean your plates", I mean, "CEASE TO EXIST!!!"
Wait a minute. Lunch Lady Bug? It was you all along? But why?
LBLunch Lady Bug
Because I've put up with you insulting my food for years, and now, destroying your reunion will be my revenge!
[to Kitty] She's crazy!
Duh! She put snakes in her Spanish rice!
LBLunch Lady Bug
And now, I will drown you all with this giant vat of gravy! [laughs manically] The sweet taste of revenge! Actually, it's a little lumpy. [laughs] The lumpy taste of revenge!
Wait, Lunch Lady Bug! Not everyone hates your food! I love it and I always have! Your bratwurst are the wurst-bests, I mean, best-wursts-- wow, I have to go to the bathroom.
LBLunch Lady Bug
Who cares what you think? You're just an assistant to an apprentice rodeo clown.
No, I'm not! I'm a super-cool T.U.F.F. agent! Okay, I can't get the barrel off, but underneath it is an awesome black t-shirt, which come to think of it, really doesn't prove anything.
The point is, he isn't a clown, and I'm not really a hairless cat!
Yes, you are.
I mean… I'm a T.U.F.F. agent too!
LBLunch Lady Bug
I don't care who you are! In a few seconds, you'll be a garnish on my dish of death!
Kitty, we'll have to fight food with food! Set your blaster to mashed potato!
That's ridiculous! There's no setting for-- [sees the "mashed potato" setting on her blaster, thinking Dudley was right] Oh, look, there it is!
Boy, robbing that old lady was a big mistake.
Well, what do you know? In space, no one can hear you scream.
Dudley, Snaptrap's sub is getting away! Do you know what this means?
It means that only millionaires will be able to eat movie popcorn.
No, it means... Okay, let's just go with that. Come on! Give me the pen, Dudley. I'll use it to call the Chief.
[disguised as Kitty's mother] When are you going to get married? Why don't you call me on my birthday?! Why can't you be more like your sister?!
My sister's in jail!
Yes, but she used her one phone to call me on my birthday!
[with her face turning red of fury] STOP COMPARING ME TO HER! I'M PRETTY, TOO!!
Actually, your shoulders are a little large, and we all know why you always wear gloves.
Wow. Dudley is a terrible chief. Luckily, all of the city's worst villains are out of commission.
Are they in jail?
No, they're at an evil softball tournament in Petsburgh.
[Snaptrap, Bird Brain, and the Chameleon are seen playing there]
I stole home! Seriously, I stole it. I also swiped the ref's watch. Start the car, Larry!
Well, if all the bad guys are out there playing softball, then there's nothing to worry about.
[Lightning flashes over the city and the face of a new villain appears]
It's time to give Petropolis something to worry about! [holding a meeting in a diner with Wanna-Bee, Fiddler Crab, and Escape Goat] I call to order the first meeting of the Fiendish League of Potential Perpetrators: "F.L.O.P.P.!" Role call! Meerkat, oh that's me. And I'll have you know I'm no mere cat, I'm the MEERKAT! Get it, Mere Cat. [pulls out a sign with "Mere Cat" at the top and "Meerkat" at the bottom] See the difference? You kinda have to write it down. [throws the sign away] Moving on… Wanna-Bee?
I'm here and I wanna be bad!
Oooh, I like your moxie. Missing Lynx, eh missing as usual. Fiddler Crab? [Fiddler Crab plays a fiddle note on his violin but one of the strings snap and hit him in the eye] Oh, that's a snappy ditty. Escape Goat?
I'm here, and I'm forming my greatest escape yet! Has anyone seen a tiny key?!
Time to brainstorm a fiendish plan!
Yeah! Let's do something super bad! [falls into the creamer]
Oh, dear, he's fallen in the creamer! Someone throw him a swizzle stick!
Here's an evil plan. Why don't we dine and dash? Ha-ha!
Ooh, that's super evil! Let's do it!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.