Criminal Minds · Season 1, Episode 15
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
Can I get a metre of vodka...with an inch of tonic?
(Come on, Mark, turn it on! Play the game!) Oh, er, naughty, you've combined metric and imperial, you might get an interdenominational...er, you know, from mixing the two measurement systems, a hangover of that kind (Just stay mute, Mark. You're a social freak. Remain in your compound.)
(Oh, God, vodka! It'll be an orgy. Great! Disappoint three people instead of just one!
The whole world isn't Zoo Magazine, Jeremy. People don't just go around wanting it the whole time.
Warp factor 3 please, Scotty!
(Oh, great. I'm Scotty. He's off cross-breeding with the beautiful aliens and I'm stuck down in the engine room with the probably cancer-emitting fuel cells.)
[discussing Malcolm's daughter]
What do you think of her? Honestly.
(I think she might have a borderline personality disorder.) I think she's... lovely.
I don't want sweet punani action; I want to take your bishop and grind you down!
[Mark is pitching his CV]
(Shit! I'm losing him!) And if you look at the bottom, you'll see that my hobbies include history and going to the movies.
I like going to the movies.
(Of course you do. Everyone does. Man seeks woman. Must be interested in film, breathing oxygen and converting protein intake into muscle energy.)
It's just a hairy turkey!
"Mummy" was probably the turkey's nickname. ... It could easily be!
[after Jez has eaten "turkey" (actually the dog, "Mummy")]
Did you actually have to eat it?
I don't know. I keep wondering that. But in the moment, it really did feel like I needed to eat it.
Did you slink off to bed before we did the melon-off?
I believe I did, and what exactly is....
Two guys get hard-ons, they put melons on their dicks, the first melon to fall off loses.
Right, and who won - Gore Vidal or Dr Jonathan Miller?
[Nancy is asleep on the sofa]
Nancy stayed over?
Yeah. Lovely, clean Nancy all over our filthy disgusting sofa.
Well, you should be more careful you... jizz-cock!
What?
You could have had my legs off you... piss-kidney.
Arsehole!
(Arsehole! Yep, nice insult. Clean, clear and insulting.)
You OK?
Yeah, yeah, fine. Bit of a wobble. I just proposed to a woman in a coffee shop and tried to get myself run over.
OK. Right. That is maybe a sign that everything isn't totally groovy.
Mark we're in the middle of the road you're gonna get us killed for the sake of your legacy. Stop it! You're not fucking Blair!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
