“Unfinished Business” quotes from Criminal Minds

[to the Director] I had a little chat with Jasper today. Turns out he wasn't very good at holding his tongue, so I thought I'd give you a shot at it.

I'm a sin eater. I absorb the misdeeds of others, darkening my soul to keep theirs pure. That is what I'm capable of.

Elizabeth Keen

What sin of mine could you possibly have absorbed?

Our river of influence runs deep, or have you forgotten how easily we made Judge Denner suppress first-degree murder charges against you, Agent Keen? Look around. Why do you think I'm here? There's a banquet tonight, fraternal order of police. I'm the keynote speaker. Four hours from now, I'm going to be on that stage, announcing that my office has secured an indictment against the members of a rogue task force.

Harold Cooper

This task force was authorized by the FBI and the DOJ!

By my predecessor at the DOJ. You're going to prison, Agent Keen. Donald Ressler-- his little oxy addiction will get him drummed out of the Bureau. Samar Navabi will be extradited to Iran, where she will stand trial for the murder of one of their top nuclear scientists. Charlene, Harold, even Agent Mojtabai. We have a little something in mind for all of you, including treason charges and the death penalty for Reddington. So are we finished here? Because I think it's cocktail hour.

Elizabeth Keen

I shot him. That's why you blocked my memory-- not to protect yourself. To protect me.

Yeah.

Elizabeth Keen

You're my sin eater.

Tried to be. But I failed. I never wanted you to be...

Elizabeth Keen

What?

[beat] Like me.

I pine for the days when conquered generals had the sense and good taste to fall on their swords. Now they hold press conferences, negotiate advances for their memoirs while the rest of us clean up their messes.

[to Keen] You're in a storm, Lizzy. You need to find the peace below the winds.

The Troll Farmer uses social media to conduct highly coordinated disinformation campaigns on behalf of governments, lobbyists, corporations, crime syndicates, and on occasion, a humble fugitive. He's mastered the art of information warfare by creating events, virtual hoaxes designed to piggyback on real public anxiety. He activates hundreds of fake accounts to post thousands of tweets, creating the appearance of, say, a terrorist attack in Paris that served as cover for an art heist. He doctors screenshots from news outlets to report an ebola outbreak in Atlanta in order to drive up the stock of a drug company developing a cure. The Troll Farmer is much more than a rumor monger. The events he creates appear to be real and provoke a very real response. Smoke manufactured to draw the cameras away from the real fire.

Elizabeth Keen

When I was a little girl, I used to imagine that my mother was a prima ballerina who danced for kings and queens in London and Paris. And she only left me with Sam until she could come home again and sweep me away.

[to a domestic abuser] You haven't the slightest clue how to speak to a woman, have you? Now, my friend there and I are having a very important discussion. So you just sit tight, enjoy your muffin, and if I hear you say anything other than "please" or "thank you" to Carly, I'm gonna drag you into the men's room and wash your mouth out with soap. And if that doesn't work, I'll cut your filthy tongue out with that butter knife. Is that clear enough for you?

[to a hospitalized Russian agent] Did I disturb you? They said you were sedated. Well, you know what they say? Can't keep a good man down. Unfortunately, it's only a matter of time before the FBI pays you a visit, and we can't have that 'cause you are what is commonly referred to as a loose end. Now, you should take heart, because if the Russians are furious now, imagine how irate they'll be when they learn that there's been another fatality as a result of Agent Ressler's attack on your convoy. If it's any consolation, your heroic devotion to our cause has earned you my most sincere respect. Godspeed, sir.

Let the record reflect that I am complying under duress and that my Fourth Amendment right to privacy is being violated.

Samar Navabi

As is my right not to be nauseated.

From as early as I can remember, I dreamed of someday being captain of a ship. To be out there on the ocean in the middle of the night, navigating by the stars. I always thought it would be the greatest life on earth. The people you're talking about... The ones who think they know you... They really don't know anything about you at all.

Odysseus spent a decade at war. But his biggest battle was finding his way home.

Elizabeth Keen

I don't know what happened. I used to consider myself lucky. I had a husband I loved, a job I always wanted. I was the kind of person good things happen to.

Have you ever heard of Mugs Kalinowski? Lovely guy. Ugliest man I ever laid eyes on. That's why everyone called him Mugs. Except his dear mother. She was an art professor at Bard. Lovingly referred to him as Picasso.

Elizabeth Keen

That's kind of sweet, actually.

Well, it was an apt nickname. His face was all over the place. But perhaps as a result of that nickname, Mugs grew up with a great appreciation for art. He fenced some of the most extravagant pieces in the world. He only had one rule. Out of respect for dear mom, he'd never lift a Picasso. Felt it was bad luck. Then one day, he got a tip from a source about a piece sitting in a huge loft in Soho. So one evening, Mugs shimmied up the drain pipe, broke in, and lo and behold, there hung on the wall, Les Femmes D'Alger. A spectacular Picasso. One of a series of 15 and astronomically valuable.

Elizabeth Keen

Did he take it?

No. And Mugs was convinced that was the single biggest stroke of bad luck he'd ever suffered. Well, what he didn't know was the source who'd given him the tip was working with the feds. The painting had a tracking device on it. Sometimes, bad luck is the best luck you'll ever have.

I have survived for a very long time now, and I assure you, I didn't do it by relying on the goodness in people.