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S1 E15

Criminal Minds · Season 1, Episode 15

“Unfinished Business” quotes from Criminal Minds

74,544 quotes · page 1693 of 4970

“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15

In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)

[An alien is impersonating Data.]

AAlien (as Data)

What is death?

Oh, is that all. Data, you're asking probably the most difficult of all questions. Some see it as a changing into an indestructible form, forever unchanging. They believe that the purpose of the entire universe is to then maintain that form in an Earth-like garden which will give delight and pleasure through all eternity. On the other hand there are those who hold to the idea of our blinking into nothingness with all of our experiences and hopes and dreams merely a delusion.

AAlien (as Data)

Which do you believe sir?

Considering the marvelous complexity of the universe, its clockwork perfection, its balances of this against that... matter, energy, gravitation, time, dimension, I believe that our existence must be more than either of these philosophies. That what we are goes beyond euclidean or other 'practical' measuring systems... and that our existence is part of a reality beyond what we understand now as reality.

CComputer

Ten seconds to auto-destruct.

WTWilliam T. Riker

Captain?

Abort auto-destruct sequence.

CComputer

Riker, William T. Do you concur?

WTWilliam T. Riker

Yes, absolutely I do indeed concur, wholeheartedly!

CComputer

Auto-destruct cancelled.

A simple "yes" would have sufficed Number One.

WTWilliam T. Riker

I didn't want there to be any chance of a misunderstanding.

NNagilum

[regarding the human race] You seem to find no tranquility in anything. You struggle against the inevitable. You thrive on conflict. You are selfish yet you value loyalty. You are rash, quick to judge, slow to change. It's amazing you've survived. Be that as it may, as species, we have no common ground. You are too aggressive. Too hostile. Too militant.

During this period, you, too, have been evaluated. It would seem that we have at least one thing in common.

NNagilum

Oh?

Curiosity.

All right, Data. You solve all the cases and get all the gifts, but what do I do?

Primarily as Dr. Watson, you will keep a written record of everything I say and do.

It has gone beyond that little game, Mr. Data. And you'll note I no longer call you Holmes.

I'll give you credit for your vast knowledge but your circuits would just short out if you were confronted with a truly original mystery.

Your artificial friend doesn't have a prayer of solving a Holmes mystery that he hasn't read.

Well, Doctor Pulaski and I had a discussion about whether Data could solve an original Holmes-type mystery.

Which you asked the computer to provide?

Yes, with a worthy opponent.

Worthy of Holmes?

...Oh my God...I asked for a Holmes-type mystery with an opponent capable of defeating...Data! That's gotta be it!

(under his breath) Merde...

(to Okona) Now please, follow Commander Riker's commands so our ship can go back to its normal routine.

[Riker smiles broadly.]

Something funny?

WTWilliam T. Riker

Well, the unexpected is our normal routine.

[After the holographic comedian has demonstrated a Jerry Lewis impersonation]

So... if you put funny teeth in your mouth, and jump around like an idiot... that is considered funny!

Say goodbye, Data.

Goodbye, Data.

[the bridge crew cracks up]

Was that funny?

[Wesley stifles a laugh]

Accessing... Ah, Burns & Allen, Roxy Theatre, New York City, 1932. It still works!

Chief Medical Officer's Log, supplemental...Scientists believe no experiment is a failure, that even a mistake advances the evolution of understanding. But all achievement has a price. For one brief glance at the mysterious blueprint of human evolution, the men and women of the U.S.S. Langtry paid with their lives. Their sacrifice is thus noted in this scientist's log.

I've studied, and know everything about my heritage.

Then you're just the person I need to talk to clear something up. It's been my understanding that one of the duties of the First Officer of the Klingon vessel is to assassinate his Captain?

Yes, sir.

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