“Unfinished Business” quotes from Criminal Minds

Welcome to the writers room. Clyde and I are working on the script for our next David Steele fan film, and I tell ya, there's tons of pressure to make this our best one ever.

We're here!

Uh… you sure you're allowed to park here?

Oh, honey, as a platinum shopper, I can park wherever I want. Now, let's hit the stores!

I'm so excited Shiloh's hanging out with us today! I hope he gets here soon.

Soon enough for you?

[hops out of the car and skates towards his cousins; happily] Hey, guys!

Hey, Shiloh!

Nice slide!

Glad to see you, cousin.

Thanks for letting me hang here today. I didn't want to go to my mom's hot yoga class. It smells funny.

[annoyed] Well, doesn't smell much better here, [gladly] but we're happy to have you.

[walks into the driveway; infuriated about Shiloh] No one… [throws a trash can aside] is the GLOAT… [throws another one] around here, except ME! [sees a man walking his dog, having to have seen her tantrum, then screams angrily at him, causing him to run away in fear, carrying his dog; groans] I will not be bested by a 6-year-old! This isn't over!

[approaching Lucy and the twins, desperately seeking their help] Guys, I think I broke Shiloh!

Embody or spirit?

Both! He thinks he's a big loser now because of me! I got so caught up in beating him that… I forgot he's just like…a little kid. He looked up to me. Ugh! Why did I have to be such a jerk (to him)?! [determined] I've gotta fix this before Aunt Sharon comes to pick him up!

Chef Pat, what can you tell us, and I don't mean the lunch specials.

Some heartless monster busted in here and ate all of my… I mean, the school's ice cream! Michigan Cherry, the best flavor! Sorry. I need a minute. [runs away, sobbing]

I scream, you scream, we all scream for justice.

Stella

This is not looking good for Crikey.

Yes, Miss Zhou, especially since there is poo in the corner! [gags in disgust, then calls for Meryl] Meryl, bring a shovel and a bag!

This is not in my job description, ma'am.

[enters Crikey's room where he's packing up all his stuff; mournfully] Hey, Crike. [sniffles] I just wanted to say bye. [Crikey gives him a sad hug; hugs and sobs]

[shocked gasp] Mr. Budden?!

You're the one who trashed the school and framed Crikey?!

Why would you do that?!

[un-zipping the kangaroo costume] It was the only way to get your beloved Crikey out of here! He's overshadowed my pep band from day one! We never perform in our own anymore! We're always backup for Crikey. I didn't go to an expensive music school to be less pop songs for a kangaroo! And his treatment around here is frankly ridiculous. Donuts every morning, a key to the teachers' lounge. Oh, give me a break!

[video-calling Principal Ramirez on his phone] Did you get all that, Principal Ramirez?

[in her bathrobe and her hair wrapped in a towel] Yes, I did. [firmly] Mr. Budden, you and I are gonna have a little talk tomorrow. [to Rusty; annoyed] And Mr. Spokes, I don't know how you had this number, but lose it. [hangs up]

[ashamed] Well, Trevor Bernard Budden, you've done it again. I guess I deserve whatever's coming to me. [walks over to Crikey] Crikey, I'm really sorry about everything.

[looking through binoculars from his bedroom window, watching Lori waiting outside her apartment for her new mattress to arrive] 9:00 A.M. No sign of delivery, just Lori trying to get gum off her shoe. Yeesh. [to the viewers] I know what this looks like, but I'm not spying on Lori. She ordered a new mattress that's being delivered today, and I'm gonna claim her old one. It's still in great shape! Meanwhile, my mattress has sustained some damage. [zoom out to reveal he's standing on his wrecked mattress] Oh, don't worry, it's just cherry Flippee spillage… [gets a coil caught in his head] And there are coil issues. [shakes his head to get the coil off and hears a truck horn outside] The mattress is here! [walks outside to Lori's apartment as she pushes her new mattress inside] Hey, Lori! Let me help you.

Lori

Nice try, Lincoln. I already gave my old mattress to Leni.

What?! Why Leni?!

Lori

Because she's next in line. It's literally a family rule. Did you forget about the L.L.S.? "Loud Line of Succession?"

Of course not. [cut to him in front of the bookshelf, only to be proven wrong that he did forgot; to the viewers] I definitely forgot about the Loud Line of Succession. [uses Lynn's hockey stick to get the Book of Loud Stuff down from the top shelf] It's right here in the Book of Loud Stuff. Mom and Dad put this together years ago to help solve disputes over our…stuff. Ah, here it is: The L.L.S. [reading] "A handed down item will always go to the next oldest sibling. If that sibling passes on the item, it moves to the next oldest." Wait, that's how I can get the mattress! I just need Leni, Luna, Luan and Lynn to pass on it. Easy-peasy. [closes the book and gets covered in dust]

This will keep Lynn busy for hours. [starts a 24-hour timer on his phone and puts it in his pocket as he runs off]

Huh? 80% pork, 20% beef. Crispy yet pillowy roll. That's a meatball sub, baby! Oh, yeah! [opens her door and eats the meatball sub]

Oh, too many meatball subs. [burps and sighs] Much better. Now, let's see. Where was I? [runs into her room and takes out her old mattress] So long, Sir Sagsalot! And hello realigned back. [walks back into her room, whistling]

Luan

What's with the racket? Mr. Coconuts is on a call with his agent!

I told you, Marty, I won't work with sock puppets!

If I can explain-

[slamming Lincoln's head down to the floor] Stinkoln thinks Lori's mattress is now his because of an amendment in that dumb rule book!

Luna

There are amendments?

I had no idea!

Luan

Hmm. Well, this is for sure Dad's handwriting. Sorry, Lynn. If you never took possession of the mattress, then, it belongs to Lincoln.

[reading an amendment while taking possession of Lincoln's lamp] "Any hand-me-down not being properly cared for can be claimed by the next sibling in the Line of Succession." This light is covered in dust. [blows the dust off the lamp, which then covers her brother all over]

[hears Lola screaming, runs into the bathroom and finds her and her twin playing tug-of-war over Rita's old bathrobe; takes the robe out of their hands] What the heck is going on in here?!

Lola is trying to steal Mom's old robe from me!

It can never become yours to begin with! You know French terry is my favorite fabric!

Well, I'm two minutes older than you, so I was next in line!

[sticks a yellow sticky note on her twin's nose] That's a "Use It or Lose It" amendment I found. And since you don't even bathe, it gives me the right to TAKE THAT ROBE!

[takes the note off her nose and throws it on the floor] I don't care about your stupid rules! I'm keeping it!

Luna

[as Luan runs out of their room, carrying a leather jacket; angrily] That's my leather jacket, dude! Leni passed it down to me! [chases after her]

Luan

Yeah, but this amendment says that disrespecting an item is grounds for forfeiture!

[gets an idea and dashes into his room] I have an announcement! [his sisters all stop fighting] I've decided… [drags out Lori's old mattress] to let Lynn have this mattress.

Huh? What?!

Look. I know I've started all of this, but I think everyone must get their favorite things back. The Book of Loud Stuff was created to keep the peace in this house, but now we're just using it to take advantage of ourselves. I propose one last amendment. [takes out a pen and writes down a new amendment on a yellow sticky note] "The well-being of the family always comes first."

Lori

You're right, Lincoln. You're correct, brother.

Agreed.

Absolutely.