SScientist
[facepalming in annoyance as Todd performs his ice cream dance] Not that idiot dancing robot again. [to his colleague] This is just embarrassing.
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
[While the Louds are eating spaghetti and meatballs for dinner at the dining room table that evening…]
[impressed] Wow, that's your sixth plate tonight, honey. You must be feeling better.
LLynn
Oh, yeah. Thanks to this guy. [points to her brother, with everyone looking at him] He helped me see that I shouldn't make such a big deal about having a critic. Everyone has 'em, especially you guys.
LLola
I think you mean everybody but me. [chuckles]
LLynn
Well, no. You have that one judge who says your ribbon routine is weaksauce. Oh, wait, no, no, wait, no, no. Lame. No, no, wait. What was the word she used, Lincoln?
Uninspired.
LLynn
Bingo. There it is. [Lola whimpers and sulks in disappointment] Relax. It's not just you. Lincoln pointed out that you all have a hater. Tell 'em.
Sure. Well, Luna, the Burnt Bean manager thinks her grandma's piccolo band is better than the Moon Goats. [Luna sulks in dismay; to Luan] Luan, one user thinks you're about as funny as a stubbed toe. [Luan sulks in sorrow; to his father] Dad, Mr. Grouse thinks you should stick to lasagnas. [to his mother] Mom, one reader said your advice ruined her life. [to Lisa] And Lisa, some scientists are really over Todd.
[Lynn Sr., Rita and Lisa all sulk in distress, one by one]
LLynn
Knowing you guys all have critics sure made me feel better. Linky, can you pass the salt?
You betcha.
[Later, throughout the night… the Louds have trouble sleeping after Lincoln exposed their critics]
LLisa
[mumbling] Over Todd.
LLola
[snorts] Uninspired.
[gnawing on her bed sheets] Piccolos…
[bolting out of bed] I ruined her life!
Stick to lasagna… [attempts to leave, but falls off the bed]
I think we should open with this song tonight. What do you think, Chunkster? [suddenly hallucinates the Burnt Bean manager's face on Chunk]
IBImaginary Burnt Bean Manager
[disgusted] I hate it! Why did I ever hire you? [ejects the tape and chucks it out of the van] I should have gone with Grandma Gertie!
[turns around, hallucinating the manager's face on Sam, Mazzy and Sully, all laughing at her; can't take it anymore] STOP!
CChunk
[abruptly stops his van on an intersection] Give a bloke some warning next time, love.
[Later that evening… The criticized Louds barge in as they return home, all incredibly outraged and chew Lincoln out from being hallucinated by their critics]
Why did you have to tell us about our haters, dude?
LLisa
Now we're all freezing up!
Look, I'm sorry I told you guys about your critics. I was just trying to help Lynn.
LLynn
[punches a hole in the front door; irately] Stinkoln! [opens the door and enters the house, grumbling]
[nervously] I hope that's a happy "Stinkoln."
LLynn
Your dumb "cure" didn't cure me! Scoots heckled me some more and now I've got emu legs again! Wasn't even at a game, it was at the mall food court!
Lynn, why are you paying attention to Scoots? [to his family] Why are any of you paying attention to those people? It doesn't matter what they say.
It's easy for you to say! You don't have to deal with it!
LLola
You just go around ruining lives!
[They all leave the living room, annoyingly disgusted]
What a life-ruiner.
[As Lincoln and the criticized Louds watch footages of him being criticized by Chandler McCann…]
LLynn
[surprised] Dude, that Chandler's a real jerk.
Yeah, he is. But he doesn't bother me, and that's the whole point. I mean, at first he really got to me, but the more I ignored him, the easier it got. Plus, why should I care what he has to say? I'm doing what I love. And that's all that matters.
[The Louds smile at each other and forgive Lincoln for chewing him out, understanding they knew he was trying to help Lynn after all]
And if you can handle Chandler, I think we can handle our critics. Right, everyone?
Totally.
Yeah, I guess so.
That’s not the song!
HHarold
I was jamming out, taking the accordion for a little walk.
Jamming is for hippies. Now, let's pick up where we left off. (The Doo Dads are huddled together, shivering in fear of their new bandmate’s behavior)
Uh.
(gulps)
The Doo Dads are Doo Dead. We are Raging Bolhofners! (The newly dubbed Raging Bolhofners start playing aggressive music)
LCLincoln and Clyde
WHAT?!
(The force of the aggressive music is so strong, that it pushes the customers away while Mr. Bolhofner screams unintelligibly into the microphone)
This is awful!
(The crowd flees the restaurant in fear, not wanting to deal with the Raging Bolhofners’ style; Upon seeing this, Lincoln decides what he must do to help his father)
Who cut the power?
I did!
Why the heck would you do that? I was getting ready for my fourteen-minute solo. Lincoln: (inhales deeply): Mr. B, you’re fired.
Oh, honey, you must've been so delirious you trashed the house! I had no idea you were this sick. You need to get to bed immediately. [the porch then collapses, sending both her and her husband to the ground] But not here. Kids, come on. We have to go.
Ah! Move to Canada. Smart. Chirpy won't find us there. [chuckles]
No. We'll stay with Aunt Ruth until the house is repaired. She'll be happy to help nurse you back to health. I should warn you, though, she'll want to show you her Malls of the Midwest slideshow.
Listen, change of plans. Coach Keck's stuck at the Gym Teacher's Convention, so I'll be in charge again next week. And that means more dodgeball! On Monday, you guys are playing the eighth graders.
Great news! That Viking team from Iceland I told you about just sailed in to play you in dodgeball.
(chuckles) You’re welcome.
LLiam
[puzzled] Jumpin' jackalopes. How in the world did she steal our stories?
[pointing to Mick Swagger after Katherine exposed him out of disguise] Nobody punks us, Brit boy! Pudding him!
I don't get it! How does Katherine Mulligan keep scooping us?!
Someone needs to try to leak to her. My cousin Derek's starting to be a plumber. He says you have to find a leak and plug it or it gets worse.
Rusty's right. If we don't do something, this could be the end of the Action News Team.
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