“Unfinished Business” quotes from Criminal Minds

Miracles really do happen: man walked on the moon, call waiting was created, and Lois Lane got her first by-line on the front page of the Inquisitor.

Hey, that's great, Lo. I don't know how I feel about the alien angle, but...

I wasn't too crazy about the E.T. spin, either, but my editor insisted it'd help sell papers, so...

Well, let's hear it for journalistic integrity.

Look, I swear, you guys, when I was writing that article, I don't know... I don't think I've ever been happier in my life. The thrill of discovery, the clacking of keys, the scent of fresh ink. Yeah, I think I've finally found my calling.

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Happiness is just a feeling of euphoria. It's your brain chemistry going into overdrive. That's why so many relationships fail when the honeymoon ends and reality sets in.

Lana

Wow, have you always been such a romantic?

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Hey, how goes life living with Lois?

Closer to coffee, further from sanity, but, you know, until Metropolis University reopens, I guess... what is it they say about a gift horse?

"Stay away from the mouth", which is difficult because Lois uses hers so much.

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You've always had an eye for beauty. It's a Latin name, formositas falsus. "Beauty that belies a dark nature".

So, even your plants have hidden agendas.

Well, I guess it all comes down to survival of the fittest. Doesn't it?

A strange vine has cropped up over the ridge at Lone Pine. It's attacking people.

And naturally you came to my little shop of horrors to foil my ingenious plot to repopulate the planet with vegetation. Sorry, Clark. I'm all out of evil.

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[to Oliver] Well, I wasn't going to give it to you, but the tights... you're totally pulling it off.

You should see him in a tutu.

Oliver Queen

Lex Luthor... with a girl that he doesn't have to inflate.

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GGloria

Kryptonians, always so hard and cold.

You can't go home. I can't let you stay. What are we gonna do?

GGloria

We'll have to let nature decide.

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This is funny. You know, the way Lois talked about you, I thought you were gonna be a little bit more of a...

Little more what? Of a geek?

Well, you're not exactly jumping the velvet ropes at nightclubs, so...

It's really nice to see that Lois has found someone who can overlook her personality.

Oh, don't worry about it, Clark. If I lived under the same roof with such a beautiful woman, I probably would mask my feelings in sarcasm, too.

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[discussing Lois investigating the Green Arrow] Look, forget about this guy for the weekend. I can have you in Cancun by sunset, sipping margaritas.

Well, as much as I'd love to be your beach bimbo, the only person I'll be spending my weekend with is into leather and has a perverted fetish for archery.

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Looks like I'm not the only one with a secret. I hate to break it to you, tough guy, but you're on the wrong side.

I'm not sure the police would agree.

Look around you. The days of the good guy running the show are over.

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So, how did you let this guy slip through your fingers?

This Green Arrow Bandit's got a lot of gadgets.

Gadgets? Against the Man of Steel?

He's good, all right?

Fine, backing off. The Green Arrow Bandit? Is that really the name Lois came up with? If you ask me, I'd lose the "Bandit", but, not my story.

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I saved you.

Yeah, from goons who were trying to find you. They're not the only one with a "V" for vendetta on your little leather ass.

Little? I've been really working the glutes lately, too.

Did the humor come with the costume?

Did the Tomb Raider routine come from wanting daddy's attention?

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Clark, you have abilities I couldn't even dream of. And I admire that you use them to save the people you're close to.

But?

But there's a whole world of people out there, Clark. They need us. With your potential... you can't wait for them to come to you. When you're ready to do something about that, you let me know.

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Clark, I was wondering if my security system would keep someone like you out.

Looks like you need an upgrade.

Or you need to learn how to knock.

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I was thinking about developing a boxing-glove arrow, and then I thought, "come up with something a little fancier". [shoots an arrow] Contained Electromagnetic Pulse. Knocks out everything electrical within an 8-foot radius: cameras, laser systems... pacemakers. That last one was a joke, Clark.

I'm laughing on the inside.