John Constantine quotes from Constantine

John

Yeah, well, I'm an exorcist, mate. I've spent half my life kicking demons out. Why would I want to invite one in?

Papa Midnite

You are a magpie of magic. A thief of tradition. You steal from other people's cultures and beliefs to suit your own purposes.

John

Oh, yeah? Well, whatever works, eh?

John

And, uh, what makes me so special?

Manny

Nothing that I'm aware of. St. Peter. Ignatius of Antioch. Joan of Arc. Oh, John, they were special. You're more of a... desperation move.

John

Story of my life, mate.

John

You know, I've never punched an angel, but you are begging for it, mate.

Manny

I could announce my arrival with trumpets. Used to have a tight horn section back in the day.

John

Mm, I'm sure you did.

Chas

So, now what? We knock on the door?

John

No, that never works.

Chas

Why not?

John

Oh, hello, we tracked an evil spirit to your house. It might be inside your kid. Do you mind if we take a look?

Chas

Yeah, that won't work.

John

No.

John

Didn't take you for a religious one.

Zed

I don't know what I am... but I like to believe there's a guiding hand in it all.

John

Guiding... judging... damning. He's a jack-of-all-trades, really. I mean, I'm not critiquing, really, but I'm pretty sure he's not very keen on me.

Zed

How can you be so cynical?

John

Oh, wouldn't it be lovely if I wasn't? Could've been a better man if I hadn't seen it all. Yes, angels exist. Sound the bloody trumpets. As for religion, yeah, all right, be nice to your neighbor and all that, but... the world isn't all puppy dogs and rainbows. You can't just pray evil away. Still have to fight, hard, on our own.

John

What do you need them to tell you?

Zed

Where my powers come from, for starters. I mean, do they come from God or somewhere else?

John

Doesn't matter where they came from. What matters is what you do with them and what it costs you.

John

Getting a little bit knackered here, mate. I could really use your help about now, yeah?

I brought this on myself

John

Look, you got a little bit of power, and you got off your trolley, yeah? It happens. All we need to do is keep them at bay until Zed makes it to the angel, so do us a bloody favor. Pull your head out of your ass and give us a hand, yeah?

Chas

Did you know we were coming to a convent?

John

It's one gory detail she left out.

Should've shagged you then, but instead I introduced you to my world.

John

It was a world of wonders.

Anne Marie

Which you followed into Hell.

John

Her name isn't Louise. It's Lamashtu. Eve's younger sister and a bit of a glorified vampire.

Anne Marie

I taught you about Lamashtu. She doesn't kidnap her prey.

What does she do?

John

She enjoys babies for their nutritional value and lucky for you, she's curbing her hunger, though I can't conceive why. Lamshtu lives to feed.

Chas

Maybe the question is... what makes keeping Hugo's litter alive?

We're nobody. We're good Catholics. We got nothing to hide.

Anne Marie

Maybe someone's hiding something from you.

I always thought God was listening.

John

Ah, let the Almighty take His time out. We got plenty to occupy ourselves with, like figuring out which one of Eve's sisters is behind all this.

Anne Marie

Now you're standing in for God. Make way for John Constantine.

John

I'm telling a desperate man that that there are things we can do to get his son back other than pray.

Manny

I got to admit, I never thought you'd do anything this stupid.

John

I'm John Constantine. I do stupid in spades.

John

You know, I probably never got the chance to say this, but, uh... I know what I put you through, and, uh... I'm sorry.

Anne Marie

No, you're not. John Constantine doesn't do sorry. Pity it took me almost 20 years to figure that out.

John

[Takes keys from Chas] I've got this one, mate. I put you guys through the ringer on this one. I suppose if I was to offer my thanks, you wouldn't believe me, either.

Chas

Probably not.

Zed

Not for a second.

John

Well, if you're sticking around for the ride, you better buckle up. What we turned up in Mexico is just the start. We're poking a stick at an evil, the likes of which the world hasn't seen in centuries. [Points keys at them in false-pride about to walk up stairs with Chas taking keys from John and walks past him up stairs ]