CNNNN quotes

Rock band takes itself seriously

Week a long time in politics, Guantanamo Bay

Gourmet pizza defined by inclusion of sundried tomatoes

Americans irritated by hordes of quiet, knowledgeable tourists

Latest special McDonald's burger tastes identical to last one

Nine album tracks just filler between three singles

Fifties decor in Hungry Jack's fools no one

Donkey voter a complete ass

Iraqi cheese-maker complains of Kurds getting in the Whey

Depressed magician performs optical disillusion

Psychotic gains respite after voices in head contract laryngitis

Newsreader rushed to hospital after trying to pronounce name of new Indonesian president Dr. Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono

Calls for tougher sentencing on killer flus

Price war breaks out between $2.00 shop & $1.95 shop

Australian actress pretends she still calls Australia home