Burn Notice quotes

Michael

Uh, listen, Fi, now's not the best time...

Sam

[entering] Oh, Jesus, Mike, you didn't tell me she was gonna be here.

Fiona

[rushing at Sam] You cost me a lot of money, you son of a bitch! I've been wanting to talk to you for a long time!

Sam

I cost you? Okay, for starters, what you're talking about never officially happened! Second, you deserved a lot worse than what you got, lady!

Michael

Sam...

Michael

[V.O.] There's a reason spies don't have a lot of parties. Everybody's got a history with everybody else.

Michael

Fiona, you were supposed to stop the car, not blow it into the Everglades! What happened to shorting the ignition?

Fiona

You said disable; it's not going anywhere.

Michael

[V.O.] My mother's understanding of my career changes with what she wants from me. One day, she can name everyone on the National Security Council, the next day, she thinks I work for the post office.

Michael

[V.O.] A hitman is like a plumber, a dentist or a mechanic. Everybody is always looking for a good one.

Michael

[V.O.] Truth is, identity theft isn't hard. A number and an ID is all you need to drain a bank account and return some money to some very surprised retirees. But why stop there? As long as you're stealing someone's identity, why not use it to contact some known terrorist organizations on unsecured phone lines? Why not use it to threaten federal judges and insult the local drug cartel? Most fun I've had in Miami.

So we're supposed to stay in here, in the garage, and do nothing?

Michael

Pretty much. It's not so bad as safe houses go. You got a TV at least. I once spent three days in a Riyadh storage facility with nothing but a flashlight and an Arabic celebrity magazine.

Michael

[V.O.] When you go on the run, the first thing you do is lay down tracks in the opposite direction, but that only works if the bad guys find the trail and believe it's for real, which means selling it. You need to put on a little show, make them feel clever. When you make somebody work to get a piece of information they'll believe it that much more because it's hard to get.

Michael

[To Sam] Well, I'll tell you what, if there's a situation that requires showing off your upper body and boozy flirting, you're my guy.

Michael

[V.O.] International conferences attract spies for the same reason hotel bars attract hookers: you can do business and drink for free.

Madeline Westen

I remember what fun you two had always working on cars in the garage.

Michael

Fun? I remember him making me fake a seizure at Mr. Goodwrench so he could steal spark plugs.

Sam

How many were there?

Fiona

I don't know, four? They took off after cocktail hour.

Michael

Fi, it looks like Fallujah down there.

Fiona

I was half hoping that they'd stick around for a bit. Cara's got quite a liquor cabinet, good for a ten hour siege.

Michael

[V.O.] A drug cartel is a business. If killing a witness to save a valued employee from jail time is the best way to keep making money, they'll do that. If it looks like that employee is testifying to the F.B.I., though, they're just as happy to leave the witness alone and take care of the problem another way.

Michael

Vitad ton Miami, Kamerad.

Michael

You lost my car in a card game.

Well, I needed the money and you weren't helping me out. Besides, nothing ventured, nothing gained, bro.

Michael

It was a rental car you ventured.

Michael

[V.O.] Spies go to bars for the same reason people go to libraries: full of information if you know where to ask.