Chris Morris in “Unfinished Business”

Even our most drastic measures don't work. Last month, the notorious paedophile Sidney Cooke was blasted into space to spend the rest of his life aboard a one-man prison vessel, posing no further threat to children on Earth. But it was revealed that an eight year old boy was placed on board by mistake, and is now trapped alone in space with the monster. A spokesman said: "This the one thing we didn't want to happen."