Brainiac: Science Abuse quotes

(alarm blares) Stop! (Hammond appears on screen) The following experiment is dangerous. For your safety and the protection of those around you, do not try this at home. (disappears, then reappears) No, really, don't.

Stop! (Vic Reeves blows party whistle) The following recipe is dangerous. Do not try this at home...or anywhere else for that matter!

(Vic Reeves appears) Hey,you! Stop! The following experiment is dangerous. Do not try this at home...for pity's sake!

...(insert action here), one more thing you can't do whilst being electrocuted.

...a lot harder when you're being electrocuted.

So, can (insert name here) still do his/her glitzy day job whilst being electrocuted? Yes/No.

Thaila Zucchi: one more act you can't do when receiving electric shocks.

...just one more thing that Jon Tickle's body can't do.

47-Second Science - tackling life's big questions in bite-sized chunks.

Dr Bunhead on the road,where science's biggest loser sets of in his trusty old van/old banger, peddling chemistry to the masses.

Jon (at the start of every teaser): Here's one for you...

Is it a drain specialist? Is it a road sweeper? No,it's Super Brainiac! The result of a mistake in a laboratory. His mission: to rid the world of toxic caravans!

Is it a day-glow ninja? Is it a flourescent madman? Yes,it's Super Brainiac! The result of an experiment that trebled his IQ to 42! His mission: to rid the world of toxic caravans!

Super brainiac: saving the world with science!

I love science - not all that "what do you get if you mix this chemical with that chemical?" nonsense - [throws away the science magazine he was reading] I mean, proper science, like this - [picking up the tabloid newspaper on his lap] there's this bloke, German scientist, Franz Epping...he's come up with this theory that, staring at a woman's breasts for 30 minutes is the equivalent of a 30-minute workout. [closes the paper as camera zooms in on Hammond's face] Now that is an experiment I really wanna do.