[After Blackadder has received a reprieve, he returns to the trench and reads out a letter to George from his Uncle Rupert, a high-ranking British government official]
"George, my boy, outraged to read in dispatches of how that arse, Melchett, made such a pig's ear of your chum Blackadder's court martial. Have reversed the decision forthwith. Surprised you didn't ask me to do it yourself, actually."
Well, yes, sir. Uh, the thing is-
You two got whammed last night, didn't you?
Well, not whammed, exactly. A little tiddly perhaps-
And you forgot the telegram to your uncle.
Well, no, no. Not completely. Partially. Well, yes. Yes, entirely.
I think I can explain, sir.
Can you, Baldrick?
[thinks for a second] No.
As I suspected. I'm not a religious man, as you know, but henceforth I shall nightly pray to the God who killed Cain and squashed Samson that he comes out of retirement and gets back into practice on the pair of you. [the phone rings] Captain Blackadder speaking. Ah, Captain Darling. Yes, well, some of us just have friends in high places, I suppose. Yes I can hear you perfectly. You want what? You want two volunteers for a mission into no man's land? Codename: "Operation Certain Death"? [looks at George and Baldrick; having an idea] Yes, I think I have just the fellows. [hangs up and grins cruelly at George and Baldrick] God is very quick these days.
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