Blackadder, Baldrick and others in “Unfinished Business”

Ah, Baldrick, anything from Massingbird yet?

Baldrick

Yes, sir. Just arrived, sir.

What's that?

Baldrick

A sponge bag, sir.

A sponge bag?

Baldrick

Yes, sir.

Baldrick, I gave you two notes. You sent the note asking for a sponge bag to the finest mind in British legal history?

Baldrick

Certainly did, sir.

And you sent the note asking for legal representation to...?

[enters the cell wearing a lawyer's robe and wig] Well, tally ho with a bing and a bong and a buzz, buzz, buzz!

Baldrick, I'll deal with you later. [to George] Am I to understand that you are going to be representing me at the court martial.

Oh, yes, sir. Bit of a family tradition, actually. My uncle's a lawyer, you know.

Your uncle's a lawyer, but you're not?

Good lord, no. I'm an absolute duffer at this sort of thing. In a school debating society, I was voted the boy least likely to complete a coherent, um...

Sentence?

Yes, that's the word. But anyway, old friend, it's an honour to serve.

George, I'm in deep trouble here. I need to construct a case that's as watertight as a mermaid's brassiere. I'm not sure your particular brand of mindless optimism is going to contribute much to the proceedings.

Well, that's a shame, sir, because I was planning on playing the mindless optimism card rather strongly.

Really?

Yes, I'd based my closing sentence on that very theme. "Oh, go on, let him off, Your Honour, please! After all, it's a lovely day, pretty clouds, trees, birds, etc. I rest my case."

So, counsel, with that summing up in mind, what do you think my chances are?

Not good, I'm afraid. As far as I can tell, you're as guilty as a puppy sitting next to a pile of poo.

Charming.