[First lines]
Baldrick, what are you doing out there?
I'm carving something on this bullet, sir.
What are you carving?
I'm carving "Baldrick", sir!
Why?
It's part of a cunning plan, actually!
Of course it is.
You know how they say that somewhere there's a bullet with your name on it?
[haltingly] Yyyyyyyyes...?
Well, I thought that if I owned the bullet with my name on it, I'll never get hit by it! Cause I'll never shoot myself...
Oh, shame!
...and the chances of there being two bullets with my name are very small indeed!
Yes, it's not the only thing around here that's "very small indeed". Your brain, for example. It's so minute, Baldrick, that if a hungry cannibal cracked your head open, there wouldn't be enough to cover a small water biscuit.
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