“You look smart, Mr. Blackadder. Going somewhere nice?” – Baldrick

Baldrick

You look smart, Mr. Blackadder. Going somewhere nice?

Nope, I'm off to the theatre.

Baldrick

Oh, don't you like it, then?

No, I don't! A load of stupid actors strutting around, shouting with their chests thrust out so far you'd think their nipples were attached to a pair of charging elephants. And the worst thing about it is having to go with Prince Minibrain.

Baldrick

Doesn't he like it either?

No, he loves it, but he doesn't realize it's made-up. Last year, when Brutus was about to kill Julius Caesar, the prince yelled out "Look behind you, Mr. Caesar!"

Baldrick

I can't see the point in the theatre. All that sex and violence. I get enough of that at home. Apart from the sex, obviously.

And while we're out, Baldrick, I want you to give this palace a good clean. It's so dirty, it would be unacceptable to a dung beetle that had lost interest in its career and really let itself go.

[from upstairs] Come on, Blackadder, or we'll miss the first act!

Coming, sir, as fast as I can! [puts his feet up] Stick the kettle on, Baldrick.