Blackadder, Mrs. Miggins and others in “Unfinished Business”

Well, Mrs. Miggins, at last we can return to sanity. The hustings are over, the bunting is down, the mad hysteria is at an end. After the chaos of a general election, we can return to normal.

Mrs. Miggins

Has there been a general election, Mr. Blackadder?

Indeed there has, Mrs. Miggins.

Mrs. Miggins

I didn't hear of it.

Of course you didn't. You're not eligible to vote.

Mrs. Miggins

Why not?

Because virtually no one is - women...peasants... [gestures to Baldrick] Chimpanzees...lunatics...lords.

Baldrick

That's not true - Lord Nelson's got a vote.

He's got a boat, Baldrick. Marvelous thing, democracy. Look at Manchester - population: sixty-thousand, electoral roll: three.

Mrs. Miggins

I may have a brain the size of a sultana...

Correct.

Mrs. Miggins

...But it hardly seems fair to me.

Of course it's not fair, and a damn good thing too - give the like of Baldrick the vote and we'll be back to cavorting with druids, death by stoning and dung for dinner.

Baldrick

I'm having dung for dinner tonight.

Mrs. Miggins

So, who are they electing when they have these elections?

Oh, the same old shower. Fat Tory landowners who get made MPs when they reach a certain weight. Raving revolutionaries who think just because they do a day's work that somehow gives them the right to get paid. Basically, it's a right old mess: toffs at the top, plebs at the bottom and me in the middle making a fat pile of cash out of both of them.

Mrs. Miggins

You'd better watch out, Mr. Blackadder - things are bound to change.

Not while Pitt the Elder's Prime Minister, they aren't. He's about as effective as a cat flap in an elephant house. As long as his feet are warm and he gets a nice cup of milky tea in the sun before his morning nap, he doesn't bother anyone until his potty needs emptying.