“Baldrick, why have you got a piece of...” – Blackadder

Baldrick, why have you got a piece of cheese tied to the end of your nose?

Baldrick

To catch mice, my lord. I lie on the floor with my mouth open and hope they scurry in.

And do they?

Baldrick

Not yet, my lord.

That's hardly surprising. Your breath comes straight from Satan's bottom. The only sort of mouse you're likely to catch is one without a nose.

Baldrick

That's a pity, 'cause the nose is the best bit on a mouse.

Any bit of mouse would be luxury compared to what Percy and I must eat tonight. We are entertaining Puritan vegetable folk, Balders. And that means no meat.

Baldrick

In that case, I shall prepare my Turnip Surprise.

And the surprise is?

Baldrick

There's nothing else in it except the turnip.

So, in other words, the Turnip Surprise would be a turnip?

Baldrick

[in realisation] Oh yeah.