TV QuotesDatabase
S1 E15

Blackadder · Season 1, Episode 15

Percy and Blackadder in “Unfinished Business”

Sorry I'm late!

Oh, don't bother apologising. I'm sorry you're alive.

Not bad, Edmund. Ah, I see the target's ready. I'd like to see the Spaniard who could make his way past me.

Well, go to Spain. There are millions of them.

I advise them to stay there then, keep their hands off our women.

Oh god, who is she this time?

I don't know what you mean.

[swipes the pink note sticking out of Percy's tunic, opens it and kicks Percy when he tries to take it back] Ah, and who is Jane?

I am sworn to secrecy. Torture me, kill me, you shall never know. [Blackadder, without looking, kicks him in the groin] Jane Harrington! We are very much in love, my lord.

This is the Jane Harrington?

Yes.

Jane "Bury-Me-In-A-Y-Shaped-Coffin" Harrington?

Um, I think maybe there are two Jane Harringtons.

No, tall, blonde, elegant?

That's right.

Goes like a privy door when the plague's in town?

My lord!

Go on, get on with your shot. You'll get over her. I did. [Percy, breathing heavily to calm himself, readies his shot] So did Baldrick, actually.

[Percy slips, shooting Baldrick in the groin, causing Baldrick to scream in agony for seconds]

Damn!

See, she's got this thing about beards, apparently.

Well, in that case, I'm going to shave!

More from this episode

All quotes from this episode →

More Blackadder quotes · These quotes come from Wikiquote's Blackadder pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.