Merton quotes from Big Wolf on Campus

Merton

The librarian is a palm scanning human book absorbtionist. OK, that's not the latin name for it, but she's turning people into books.

Merton

Becky what is wrong with you? Did the Backstreet Boys break up?

Merton

It's Merton, in the lair, freaking out!

Merton

Don't know what I did to make you go wolfy, but I do apologies, You can de-wolf now!

Merton

Tommy, would it mean anything to you when I would said the words, pizza's here?

Merton

I shouldn't even be here, you know. She is your girlfriend, not mine! She never was particular nice to me.

Tommy

What's up man, you new here?

Merton

No, Tommy. I'm Merton Dingle. We've had lockers next to each other since kindergarden.

Tommy Dawkins, you are supposed to be cool? What are you doing here?

Tommy

I am a... friend of your brother's.

Really?!

Tommy

I guess I'm just going to have to handle this myself. As Tommy Dawkins.

Merton

You know, just in case.

Merton

The strangler always sang ring around the rozy before he tried to strangle somebody.

Tommy

Yeah, well, you know. I hope Stacey doesn't think these are hickies.

Merton

Alastair Black put a spell on me, that's how! That goth-poser-warlock-wannabe!

Tommy

He is obviously not a goth-poser-warlock-wannabe when he made you hand disappear.

Merton

Oh, you are just saying that because you're his Vicepresident!

Merton

When I'm totally invisible, I'm totally invisible FOREVER!

Tommy

Don't worry man. I mean you think of something. You got a good head on your shoulders.

Merton

Unfortunately... that's all I have!

Tommy

Let me guess, T'n'T.

Merton

Third time this week. I'm a senior getting stuffed into lockers. I'd have to check with the folks of Guinness, but I think that makes me the world's biggest LOSER!

Merton

You know what really gets me, ever since your first transformation I been there for you. I helped keeping your secret, I looked for cures. The flea bath?!

Tommy

Wait a second Merton, I think guilt makes me wolf-out!

Merton

Yeah, but I've never complained, because I ever thought that someday you would be there for me. But no.

Merton

Clue! I used to love this game. Vince and I played this all the time. And to keep things interesting we award extra points for the really creative murderer.

Tommy

Who is Vince?

Merton

He was my imaginary friend.