What's up man, you new here?
No, Tommy. I'm Merton Dingle. We've had lockers next to each other since kindergarden.
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Listen, you've gotta help me man. I'm not evil, I'm just... hairy.
BBecky
Tommy Dawkins, you are supposed to be cool? What are you doing here?
I am a... friend of your brother's.
MBMerton & Becky
Really?!
The librarian is a palm scanning human book absorbtionist. OK, that's not the latin name for it, but she's turning people into books.
SGSecurity guard
Detention is the cornerstone on which the cathedral of discipline is built.
The twist? A malted? I've got to send this guy back to where he belongs.
I guess I'm just going to have to handle this myself. As Tommy Dawkins.
Merton kicks Tommy in the groin and Tommy turns into a werewolf.
You know, just in case.
BButch
Ah, this movie's lousy with rules. Don't Smoke. Don't go to second base. Well, I'm going out there. I can find a baby soon who ain't no prude.
The strangler always sang ring around the rozy before he tried to strangle somebody.
Yeah, well, you know. I hope Stacey doesn't think these are hickies.
BBecky
That was the lamest thing I've seen since Meet Joe Black.
Tommy': You cheated on Dungeons & Dragons?
Alastair Black put a spell on me, that's how! That goth-poser-warlock-wannabe!
He is obviously not a goth-poser-warlock-wannabe when he made you hand disappear.
Oh, you are just saying that because you're his Vicepresident!
When I'm totally invisible, I'm totally invisible FOREVER!
Don't worry man. I mean you think of something. You got a good head on your shoulders.
Unfortunately... that's all I have!
Merton bumps into Tommy wearing a straight-jacket
Let me guess, T'n'T.
Third time this week. I'm a senior getting stuffed into lockers. I'd have to check with the folks of Guinness, but I think that makes me the world's biggest LOSER!
You know what really gets me, ever since your first transformation I been there for you. I helped keeping your secret, I looked for cures. The flea bath?!
Wait a second Merton, I think guilt makes me wolf-out!
Yeah, but I've never complained, because I ever thought that someday you would be there for me. But no.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Big Wolf on Campus pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.