[Roland Jaycox shows Jimmy into his garage]
So, what do we got?
Uh, I feel silly asking this. Yeah. But before I show you my invention, would you mind signing a non-disclosure agreement?
You got it. No problem. [signs the agreement]
It's my idea of a lifetime. If Fisher-Price or Playskool ever got their hands on this...
No worries.
You ready? [lifts the tarp off an ordinary looking toilet]
I may have seen one of these before.
Not like this. This one has this little unit I've added. This is my invention. Do you have children?
No.
My wife and I have two boys, four and six. And let me tell you, toilet-training them? Nightmare, both times. They just didn't want to use the commode! So I wired a motion sensor to a voice chip and, well, no sense getting all technical. But it's all about positive reinforcement. Meet Tony the Toilet Buddy. And when you sit down to do your business, this is how he works.
[Roland drops a wooden block in the toilet bowl]
Oh, yeah! That's the way! [Roland drops another wooden block in the toilet bowl] Gosh, you're big! You're so big! My goodness! Look at you! [another wooden block gets dropped in] Fill me up, Chandler! Put it in me!
Chandler's my youngest. Loves it.
Huh. [watches Roland drop another wooden block]
Give it to me, Chandler! I want it all! Mmm! Ahhh!
Anyway, it goes on from there. You get the picture.
Yeah, I, uh... Yeah.
So, what do you think?
It's a little... sexual, maybe?
Sexual? What—what does that...?
Suggestive, maybe—maybe that's a better word? Look, I'm not—I'm not saying this thing won't make you rich. I mean, some of your wealthier Pacific Rim nations, they'll love this, the crazy bastards.
I created this for children. Children, understand?
Well, hey, Viagra was originally invented to treat hypertension. Look how that turned out.
[Cut to Jimmy leaving the house with an angry Roland chasing after him]
You're completely disgusting, you know that?!
Hey, buddy, you're the one with the sex toilet.
Get off my property!
Hey, you know what? I hope you do make a fortune, 'cause Chandler's gonna need it to help pay for his therapy!
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