Josh quotes from Being Human (US)

Josh

Uuh... How long has what been?

How long have you thought you were a werewolf?

Josh

Did I just-... D-Did you s-say-... (hesitating) Did I just hear you say that you thought that I thought that I was a w- ...?"

Aidan

Does your mom cook with garlic?

Josh

I, I don't know. Seriously, is that a, is that a thing?

Aidan

No.

Josh

I guess so. Does it kill you?

Aidan

No, no it doesn't. It just.. just makes us, us.

Josh

Okay, Okay, so stop being you? How? How do we do that?

Aidan

Uh, Feverfew.

Josh

Fev...what? Is that, uh, is that a band?

Aidan

It's an herb, Josh.

Sally

Did you double-down on antiperspirant. You sweat a lot when you're nervous.

Josh

I went through half a Speed Stick.

Sally

How's your breath?

Sally

I don't have a sense of smell anymore.

Aidan

I got to be honest, it smells like dog to me. But I'm sure, it's minty fresh.

Nora

Really? Is there more to say? We're both adults. I think we know when something isn't meant to be.

Josh

I don't want you to see Reed, or anyone.

Nora

Oh, here we go. You know, you're surprisingly Neanderthal for someone so young.

Josh

I'm not just some jerk who doesn't want to get close to you Nora, I want to be with you. I wanna be with you! But there's something in my life, that has nothing to do with you, or another women, and I didn't kill anyone...

Nora

That's remarkably not reassuring if you have to point that out!

Sally

It's weird, right? He and I both died, years apart, and then find each other again in limbo?

Josh

You know what? You're a ghost, talking to a werewolf making an egg salad sandwich. I no longer compute what's weird.

Josh

She looks like The Grudge.

Aidan

She looks a little rough.

Josh

Rough? If we videotape Sally right now and showed somebody, they'd be dead in 3 days.

Aidan

She was almost exorcised. She's weak.

Josh

She looks like she's gonna eat our entrails.

Aidan

[to Josh] So how was your night?

Josh

[squints eyes and nods] This is a conversation to be had over kale

Josh

[to Aidan] How was your night, I mean...I mean, god, congrats you're free.

Sally

Yeah, what are you going to do?

Aidan

I think I wanna learn krav maga

Sally

I actually can’t believe you don’t already know that.

Aidan

Do you want to come? You can audit, pick up some skills… fight ghost crime

Sally

I like it… I like it

Sally

Since I am here, um, no more waiting. I'm going to do something with my time, you know. I mean, maybe I got closure with Danny, but I never got closure with my family... or friends.

Josh

[to Sally] So you're just going to haunt them, basically.

Sally

[Sally nods] Basically. Yeah.

Aidan

Mhmm

Josh

That’s what it sounds like.

Sally

And we’re all going to be supernatural, krav maga, crime fighters

Josh

[to Aidan] Did you order a stripper?

Aidan

Ah, actually, since our last party was so rudely interrupted, I thought it might be fun to watch you eat pizza.

Aidan

Look, Josh, Mother's coming to meet with me.

Josh

Oh, so that is happening? Because it's just, it's been weeks since we heard anything, and I was just thinking maybe she was on a cruise in, like, Alaska. It's really nice this time of year.

Aidan

When you live forever, a few weeks is nothing. Look, when Mother gets here, she will give the proper order and that's that, and not even the council can go against her word. It's all good.

Josh

If there could be a lot less "Mother will determine the proper blah, blah, blah" and, and, and floating broken coffee mugs when Nora comes down here, that would be awesome.

Sally

Okay, come on. I mean, she knows I'm here. She saw Aidan not die. She saw you wolf out. You know, in the words of Don Aidan, it's all good.

Josh

No, it's not.

Sally

Okay, when do we get to meet her or when does Josh get to meet her and I get to stand there and judge her silently?

Aidan

Okay, I don't know if we're at that point yet.

Josh

Ah, so what point are you at? You're at a point.

Aidan

We hang out, we enjoy each others company and then we go back to our lives. It's easy, it's casual, and above all else, it's normal, and that is exactly what I need right now.

Sally

When you say "enjoying each others company," is that code for "tapping that ass," yes, to be clear?

Aidan

You are a classy lady.

Nora

Whoa! I can hear somebody having sex. And they are really going to town!

Josh

Yeah, well, you don't need super hearing for that one.

Nora

Oh, my! Is that Aidan?

Josh

Yeah.

Josh

I'm a werewolf and he's a vampire and that's how we can see ghosts.

Aidan

It's like we're different countries on the same continent.

Josh

And - and if I'm not far away from here in an hour or so, you will be in mortal danger.

Mortal danger. Right.

Josh

Yeah, this isn't a joke.

So - so you're going to turn into a wolf and have me for dinner.

Aidan

Okay, listen very carefully. He's telling the truth.

Oh, of course. Of course it's the truth. You got to be the cool vampire. Everybody wants to be the cool vampire.

Aidan

You got it!

Josh

We're not making this up! I'm not making this up!

[gasps] Holy crap! You're monsters.

Josh

Thank you.

Aidan

If you ever get in my face again, I...

Josh

What? You'll kill me, huh? You'll kill Zoe? You're gone, man. You started feeding live! You murdered those two girls, those two human beings under our roof! This sacred place! Does it stop, Aidan? When does it stop? I feel like I'm the only one trying anymore, like I'm dangling off the cliff by my fingertips and you're up there stomping on them!

Sally

Oh, come on.

Josh

Like, kill you in the face, serious.