Ms. Jenkins: Well, good morning everyone. My name is Miss Jenkins and I'm a speech therapist. And I guess a lot of you were wondering "why do I need speech therapy?"
Beavis: Yeah.
Ms. Jenkins: I already know how to speak. What can I learn here? You know, sometimes people don't even realize they have a speech impediment.
Beavis: What's a speech im-pediment?
Butt-head: Speech im-pediments suck!
Ms. Jenkins: A person shouldn't be ashamed of having a speech impediment. As a matter of fact, many highly intelligent and creative people are speech impaired.
Butt-head: Hey Beavis, that dude has boob.
Ms. Jenkins: And once they begin to be more aware of how they sound, they are better able to correct themselves.
Beavis: Butt-head, that what I think it is?
Butt-head: Yeah, that's pretty cool.
Ms. Jenkins: Well, I'm glad to hear that Butt-head and we're all glad to have you on our little speech team.
Butt-head: Eee, can you get out of the way?
Beavis: Yeah really.
Ms. Jenkins: Well, I'll tell you what boys. I have some other pictures in my briefcase that are even more interesting than that one.
Butt-head: Really?
Beavis: What could be more interesting than this?
Ms. Jenkins: Well, how about a picture taken from right up inside the larynx?
Beavis: Wow, no way!
Butt-head: How could you get a camera up there?
Ms. Jenkins: Well, I'll be happy to show you after you practice this next exercise, OK?
Butt-head: This is gonna be cool.
Beavis: Yeah yeah, boi-oi-oi...
Ms. Jenkins: OK now, we're going to use these mirrors to observe our lips, and teeth, and tongue during speech.
Butt-head: Butt-munch, dill-lead.
Beavis: Ass-wipe, butt-hole.
Butt-head: Ass-munch
Ms. Jenkins: Butt-head, this might be a good time to work on your "s".
Butt-head: Eeeh, I didn't know my ass needed any work.
Ms. Jenkins: Now don't get defensive Butt-head, I just want to try to clean it up a little, OK? Now try this. Make a "t" sound, then throw it out like this. Everyone, let's try to help Butt-head, OK?
Butt-head: Hey Beavis, check it out!
Ms. Jenkins: Settle down please, all right boys? OK. What I'd like everyone to do is to repeat these sentences while watching your mouth in your mirrors, OK? All right, here goes: Speaking slowly as such can say just as much.
Butt-head: Whoa, she just said "ass munch"!
Beavis: Yeah, this chick rules. "Ass munch"!
Ms. Jenkins: Very good, boys! As much.
Beavis: Ass munch!
Butt-head: Ass munch!
Ms. Jenkins: All right, let's try this one. Half haste helps, but whole haste hinders.
Butt-head: Whoa, she just said "butthole"!
Beavis: Yeah yeah, butthole!
Ms. Jenkins: But whole haste...
Beavis: Yeah yeah, butthole butthole! This is cool. Bunghole!
Ms. Jenkins: No no Beavis, listen closely. But whole, but whole.
Beavis: Oooh yeah yeah.
Principal McVicker: I just came by to see if these two little bastards have done anything I can suspend them for.
Ms. Jenkins: Actually principal McVicker, these boys have done very well. Beavis, Butt-head, would you like to show your principal what you've learned today?
Butt-head: Assmunch
Beavis: And butthole. Butthole.
Principal McVicker: Watch your mouth, you little sons of bitches.
Ms. Jenkins: Principal, please. Now I don't want you to take this to the wrong way, principal. But I've noticed that you have a litle trouble expressing yourself sometimes.
Principal McVicker: What?
Butt-head: McVicker is a dumbass. He doesn't know how to talk to chicks.
Beavis: Yeah really. He's probably like "....." Boi-oi-oi...

  »   More Quotes from Beavis and Butt-Head
  »   Back to the TV Quotes Database