Beavis and Butt-Head quotes

1300 total quotes

Beavis: [sings along] Hey old miner, how come you're drinking red wine at Shakey's...
Butt-head: This is stupid.
The The, I Saw the Light

Beavis: [sings] American Woman!
Butt-head: They think they're bad cause they're walking slow.
[a heavy-set man with a mustache has the caption "Scotty"]

Beavis: [sings] More than a feeling...
Butt-head: I woke up this morning, the sun was gone...
Butt-head: That song's stupid.

Beavis: [tired, some time at least a day later, when school is back in session and Mr. Van Driessen asks Butt-head where he is] I get the crane with the wrecking ball, and the bulldozer, one of those really nice shovels, and a backhoe and a forklift, a front end loader and a combine. and um...a getaway car and some rubbers. Only then will I score. Butt-head?

Beavis: [to the music] May, I, kick a little something for the G's, yey-ah. [speaking] Ain't nothing but a G thing. I'm a G, I'm a straight G.
Butt-head: Yeah, you're a G for gonad.
Beavis: Shut up, Butt-head. You might get smoked if you keep that up. Watch yo back, homie.

Beavis: [yells] HEY MAN NICE SHOT!!!
Butt-head: [disorientated] Uhuhhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuh!!
The Flaming Lips, She Don't Use Jelly

Beavis: AAAAAAAHHHHH! Shut up! Shut up!
Butt-head: Yeah. Shut up!
Beavis: You suck!
Butt-head: Stop in the name of all that which does not suck!
GWAR, Jack the World

Beavis: AAGH!
Butt-head: UUGH!
Beavis: NO!
Butt-head: Check this out! What a wuss!

Beavis: AAH! Look at that, he's, like, fiddling around with a dead guy's boobs! This is scary. What if after I die, like, some guy comes around and fiddles around with my wiener?
Butt-head: So what, Beavis? You'd be dead, it doesn't matter.
Beavis: Yeah, I guess so. I guess if I was out in the ocean with a dead chick, I'd probably kiss her.
Butt-head: I'd kiss a dead chick right here.
Beavis: So would I. But that's kinda messed up, Butt-head.
Butt-head: Uhh, I know, I was just kidding, Beavis. You were probably serious.
Beavis: Well, no. Not really.
Sick of It All, Step Down

Beavis: AAH, I DON'T WANNA LOOK AT SOME DUDE'S BUTT! Come on Butt-head, change it.
Butt-head: Come on, Beavis! This song kinda rocks! Besides, later, they show a dog's nads.
Beavis: Oh. I'll stick around for that.

Beavis: Aah, she's got blood in her eyes! Ew, this is freaky, Butt-head, I don't wanna watch this. C'mon, change it.
Butt-head: Beavis, you're a wuss.
Beavis: Damnit, someone should help her. They should just like, stop having the video and just like, go help her. She's all beat up. I like....feel all sorry for her and stuff. Kinda freaking me out.
Max Headroom, Merry Christmas Santa Claus

Beavis: Ah boy. I think this video has a message.
Butt-head: Yeah. The message is leave. Don't watch it.

Beavis: Ah, boy. Look at that, he's trying to be Forrest Gump.
Butt-head: Yeah. Life is like a little box of chocolates. That would be cool to like, try to pick up a chick by giving her a box of chocolates, because then, like if you strike out, you can at least eat the chocolate.
Beavis: That's not a bad idea. I think I'm gonna go get me some Enamems and spank my monkey.

Beavis: Ahhhhhhhh, yeah. I like to mellow out to this song.
Butt-head: Yeah. Let's get a little mellow.
Beavis: Sometimes if I have a boner that won't go down, I listen to this kind of music.

Beavis: All right! A video! Yeah!
Butt-head: I like music videos.
Beavis: Yeah, because you don't just hear the band, you see 'em too.
Beavis: This is gonna be cool! I haven't seen a video in a while.
Beavis: Yeah, yeah! Look, there's like a spaceship and stuff!
Butt-head: Wow!
Beavis: Yeah, yeah! This is great. This is just great!