Tyr quotes from Andromeda

[Regarding a list of much-needed but expensive parts for the Andromeda] OK, I can get most of this stuff, but we'll have to rig for a quick getaway.

Harper –

Dylan

Harper, we're not gonna steal anything.

Thank you.

Tyr

Well, what would you suggest?

Dylan

There's an old Earth custom, Tyr. It's called a garage sale.

Tyr

What's a garage?

Tyr

I think it's quite possible she may have taken advantage of your generosity and gone back into business for herself.

Dylan

Because that's what you would do?

Tyr

Not after warning you.

Beka

You missed Tyr's cavalry act.

Tyr

They were playing Wagner. It's the most fun I've had in about six months.

Be careful. I might live up to your expectations.

Tyr

Or, you might not live at all.

Tyr

These aren't the old days.

Dylan

Not yet, but I'm working on it.

Beka

So, what's the verdict?

Tyr

He's dead.

Beka

Yeah, I meant what killed him?

Tyr

What didn't kill him? We've got stab wounds, laser and radiation burns, this appears to be some sort of residual neurotoxin. And these pinpoint wounds, I've never seen anything like them.

Beka

Weird. Perseids can be annoying, but this is just ridiculous.

Um...Where'd you get all the candles?

Tyr

I rendered them from the fat of my enemies.

Can't wait to see the entree.

Wow. Quite a renaissance man, Tyr. Gourmet chef, mercenary killer...

Tyr

I took it up because a former employer of mine appreciated fine dining. When he refused to pay me for one of my jobs, I prepared him a Tirimisu laced with Strychnine. As I recall, he quite enjoyed it...for precisely twelve seconds.

We're facing the second baddest ship in the known universe and our AI is making moonie eyes at Mr. Tall, Spark, and Handsome!

Why shouldn't I? [Corrects Herself]—she?

To quote the ancient masters: “pronoun trouble”! You're distracted—don't deny it!

I am perfectly capable of handling sensor scans and personal relationships simultaneously.

So you admit—you're having a relationship with him!

What's wrong with that? All sentients seek to establish a relationship with their own.

Tyr

Love is merely a trick the DNA plays to replicate itself.

I don't have DNA.

Tyr

My point exactly! Are the two of you planning to procreate? Will there be a nursery full of little grav sleds and data disks?

Tyr

No one's reached Tarn-Vedra in 300 years, and better pilots than you have died trying.

Beka

There are no better pilots than me.

This is the engineer. You may have noticed the lack of a sudden drop in environmental pressure. Though this is a good thing, it, err, may not last, so enjoy the oxygen while you can.

Tyr

Harper, what's going on?

I don't know. I mean, umm, my current theory is that... somehow... an older version of Andromeda's personality profile may have been reactivated and is now taking over the ship.

Dylan

How did you figure that out?

I think the key thing right now is to repair the problem. We can worry about minor details like assigning blame later.

Tyr

Reverend Behemiel! [Slaps Rev] You dead?

Tyr Anasazi of the Kodiak Pride. Clearly I am not in heaven.

Dylan

[As they're being shot at by Nietzscheans who have declared that they only want Tyr] Anything you want to tell me?

Tyr

No, not particularly.

Dylan

We'll save the conversation for later.

Dylan

Tyr, any ideas about what might change their minds about killing us?

Tyr

Killing them first?

Make me an offer.

Tyr

I offer not to pull your heart out through your eye socket and nail it to your forehead.

That's very reasonable. How's noon tomorrow?