Michael Brooks quotes from American Dreams

Michael

[on the phone] Is your friend Meg Pryor there with you? Her mother said that she might be.

Roxanne

[to Meg] He wants you.

Meg

I'm not here.

Roxanne

[back to the phone] She's not here. Can I take a message?

Michael

Yes you can. You can tell Meg that there is no excuse for what she did today. Because for every kid that dances on our show, there are a thousand - no, ten thousand - kids who wish they could.

Roxanne

What did she do?

Michael

What did she do? She walked off the set right in the middle of the show. So you can tell Meg that if she plans on coming back to our show, she better take it a little bit more seriously next time, ok? Even if her best friend didn't get a chance to come back this week.

Roxanne

I'll tell her. And you can count on her to take it very seriously from now on. In fact, I can guarantee that she'll be here next show. Oh, and so will I. Bye, Mike. [hangs up]

Meg

Um I have to leave the show.

Michael

What?

Meg

The only reason I'm on American Bandstand is because my best friend Roxanne Bojarski got us on. So I can't be on the show unless she is too. So if you want her to dance the show, that would be really great, but you have to call her and ask her. Or else I can't be on the show. I just can't. [hands Michael phone number and walks off]

Michael

You know what happened to that kid?

Roxanne

What?

Michael

He grew up to be associate producer of the show.

Roxanne

But that's you... oh.

Michael

Except now, that job's already taken. So I better not catch you doing this again.

Roxanne

You won't.

Michael

I won't because...

Roxanne

Because I won't do it again.

Roxanne

We were just talking about Christmas.

Michael

Yeah. Peace. Warmth. Joy. STANLEY!

Roxanne

Every year my grandmother goes to visit her sister in Harrisburg, and my mom and I, we get to go to a fancy hotel for dinner and then to midnight mass at St. Peter's.

Michael

Aw, that's nice. Hey, Gus! Gus! Did somebody find Stanley without telling me?

Roxanne

Where do you go? To church, I mean.

Michael

I'm Jewish.

Roxanne

I'm sorry.

Michael

Don't be.

Roxanne

No, I mean I'm sorry I asked. About the church.

Michael

Alyssa got kicked off the show because her skirt was too short, Jeff got caught sneaking into Lesley Gore’s dressing room…

Roxanne

But the grammar’s good, right?

Michael

It’s all lies Roxanne. I don’t know how you could even write this stuff.

Roxanne

I was just trying to spice it up a little bit.

Get ready, be the water.

Meg

Be the what?

Be the water, up here. [Raises Meg’s arms straight up like a shower and dances like he’s taking a shower]

Michael

Is she actually pretending to be a shower?

My guess is he’s got her being the water.

Michael

Wow.

Roxanne

Uh, some of the other columns I’ve been reading in other magazines, well they have little pictures of the journalists in the upper right-hand corner of the page. And I was just thinking that since you have such an attractive journalist…

Michael

Hey, not a snowball's chance in hell. Have a good show, Roxanne.