Roxanne Bojarski quotes from American Dreams

Roxanne

We studied the Battle of Bull Run and the first six weeks of the Civil War. [Meg looks at her] Good lies are all in the details.

Roxanne

What? You ain't never seen a bra before? Turn around.

Roxanne

I'll just stay here and read the New Testament. I'll work on Matthew, Mark, and John. You can work on...Luke.

Roxanne

[while Luke and Meg are kissing] Sorry, I know I'm interrupting, but The Ed Sullivan Show starts in three minutes. Priorities.

Roxanne

[after Warren finishes his song] Warren, you're going to make a terrible priest. [awkward silence] What you should be is a singer.

Roxanne

[referring to Meg] She doesn’t have a mean bone in her body, except when it comes to Patty. But if you met Patty, you’d understand why.

Michael

[on the phone] Is your friend Meg Pryor there with you? Her mother said that she might be.

Roxanne

[to Meg] He wants you.

Meg

I'm not here.

Roxanne

[back to the phone] She's not here. Can I take a message?

Michael

Yes you can. You can tell Meg that there is no excuse for what she did today. Because for every kid that dances on our show, there are a thousand - no, ten thousand - kids who wish they could.

Roxanne

What did she do?

Michael

What did she do? She walked off the set right in the middle of the show. So you can tell Meg that if she plans on coming back to our show, she better take it a little bit more seriously next time, ok? Even if her best friend didn't get a chance to come back this week.

Roxanne

I'll tell her. And you can count on her to take it very seriously from now on. In fact, I can guarantee that she'll be here next show. Oh, and so will I. Bye, Mike. [hangs up]

Roxanne

[about Jimmy Riley] He doesn't hate you.

Meg

I gave him a black eye!

Michael

You know what happened to that kid?

Roxanne

What?

Michael

He grew up to be associate producer of the show.

Roxanne

But that's you... oh.

Michael

Except now, that job's already taken. So I better not catch you doing this again.

Roxanne

You won't.

Michael

I won't because...

Roxanne

Because I won't do it again.

Meg

What are you doing out here? I thought you had a date with Luke.

Roxanne

Nope, you do. Look, the sooner you admit you like him the easier this gets for all of us. So go on in there! He's closing up!

Roxanne

We were just talking about Christmas.

Michael

Yeah. Peace. Warmth. Joy. STANLEY!

Roxanne

Every year my grandmother goes to visit her sister in Harrisburg, and my mom and I, we get to go to a fancy hotel for dinner and then to midnight mass at St. Peter's.

Michael

Aw, that's nice. Hey, Gus! Gus! Did somebody find Stanley without telling me?

Roxanne

Where do you go? To church, I mean.

Michael

I'm Jewish.

Roxanne

I'm sorry.

Michael

Don't be.

Roxanne

No, I mean I'm sorry I asked. About the church.

Roxanne

Can I get anything?

Luke

I'll have a soda. [Roxanne walks to kitchen] Oh, and get one for my girlfriend too. [Everyone stares at them]

And the top 3 songs this week, [Meg and Roxanne mouthing along] All My Loving, She Loves You, and...

I WANNA HOLD YOUR HAND!

Michael

Alyssa got kicked off the show because her skirt was too short, Jeff got caught sneaking into Lesley Gore’s dressing room…

Roxanne

But the grammar’s good, right?

Michael

It’s all lies Roxanne. I don’t know how you could even write this stuff.

Roxanne

I was just trying to spice it up a little bit.

Actually, there’s a song I kind of wrote...for you.

Roxanne

Is the word "easy" in the title?