•"If you speak Spanish, and you don't want anyone to know, it's not smart to shout out, '¡EL ELEFANTE ES GRANDE, SEÑORITA!**'".
S1 E15Unfinished Business
•"If your friend's Mom asks you what you'd like to drink, don't say, 'Oh, nothin'. My mouth's fulla spit '".
•"If you can't stand the heat...don't just start throwin' rocks at people".
•"Twinkle, twinkle, little star; how I wonder...how in the world that song ever became so popular".
•"Mirror, mirror, on the wall...LOOKIT ME; I'M A PERSON TALKIN' TO A PIECE OF GLASS!"
•"Doggies say, 'Woof, woof'. Kitties say, 'Mee-yow'. I say, 'Get off my lawn, or I'm callin' the cops'".
•"If you smell smoke in your house, yell, 'FIRE!'. If you smell smoke in your pants, yell, 'WHY AM I SMELLIN' MY PANTS?!'".
•"It's a bad idea to go up to a policeman and say, 'Oh, Mr. Policeman, take me to prison, please".
•"If your mother tells you to sweep the kitchen floor...don't hold your sister upside down and use her head as a broom".
•"One potato, two potato, three potato, four. I rode a bike that had no seat, and now my butt is sore".
•"Ten million years ago, dinosaurs ruled the Earth***. Ten minutes ago, I ruled the women's restroom".
•"If it looks bad, smells bad, and tastes bad, then it might be...this olllld burrito!"
•"It's nice to stop and smell the flowers. It's weird to stop and smell...this olllld burrito!"
*This line is from My Fair Lady (©1964), and the correct version is "The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain".
**This is Spanish for, "THE ELEPHANT IS LARGE, MISS!".
These quotes come from Wikiquote's All That pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.