SLSketch Lampoon
If it cracks me up, it ought to be in Crack-Ups!
All S1
Get in there! You’ve interfered with my plans for the last time! Guards, to your post! I have piles of evil to perform now that Sonic’s out of the way starting with... Your new issue of Crack-Ups will be all about me!
In the name of Dr. Robotnik, you're under arrest!
SLSketch Lampoon
Boy, am I glad to see you!
'Cause your cell's crumbling all around you?
SLSketch Lampoon
No, cause if I had to draw one more panel of Robotnik's life story, I'd have gone cuckoo! (Sonic rushes with him and Tails out of the crumbling prison complex.) But now I'm free to work on "Humpty Dumpty 2"! And I'm gonna make Robotnik look really stupid! Now, that's funny!
(The three have made it outside as the prison complex explodes.)
Actually, Mr. Lampoon, I don't think you could make Robotnik look any stupider than he already is!
(All three laugh as Robotnik, who is lying on his back, struggles to get up from the pile of rubble.)
HELP ME! HELP! HELP ME! I'VE FALLEN AND I CAN'T GET… (cries hysterically) I HATE THAT HEDGEHOG!
Hi, Hacker. Whatcha doin'?
HHacker
Hiya, Tails. [to Sonic] Sonic, just taking a peak at someone's program.
You mean you can get into someone else's computer?
HHacker
They haven't made the system I can't crack!
So what are we waiting for? Get crackin'!
HHacker
Almost done!
Ha, ha! You're not done! You're done for!
I've really outdone myself this time! Remind me to award myself the Medal for Excellence in Supreme Rottenness.
Didn't you just give yourself that award last week?
Well, make up a better one then!
Have you captured Sonic yet?
D'oh! Tell 'im we almost had him!
Almost, sir!
ALMOST?!! What kind of nincompoops are you!?!
Uh, what kind of nincompoops are we?
Sir, I've got a foolproof plan! This time we'll get him... my way!
If you don't, I'll melt you down… MY way!
Doh, for the twentieth time, you serve Sonic the chili dog real slow, so I'll have plenty of time to zap him with the stopper zapper! You got it now?
Um…
Grounder, you're as dumb as a rock!
Metamorphic, igneous, or sedimentary?
Ingoranteous! [grabs a rock and hits Grounder]
You are so dumb!
What? What? What did I say?
Wait until we see what Dr. Robotnik gets me for bagging that hedgehog!
You?! You couldn't bag groceries! Give him to me!
He's not going anywhere, fuzz face, cept' back to Dr. Robotnik's lab! Who knows? Maybe he'll turn your buddy into a footstool! [he and Scratch both laugh]
Nobody's turning Sonic into a footstool!
[grabs and picks him up by the tails] Out of the way, brat! [throws him aside]
Come back!
Yeah, runt! Come back here!
[Grounder stars operating the machine but Scratch bangs him on the arm.]
Hey! Stop shooting! If you hit Sonic, you'll unfreeze him!
Huh?
Should've worn your seat belts, fellas.
Oh, sorry, officer! We forgot!
Well, I'll give you 2, maybe 3 years in Mobius jail to think about it.
Now hold on!
Driving over the speed limit inside a building? That's gonna cost you, too!
Oh, no! How much for that?
5, maybe 10 years?
[Scratch picks up Tails]
Scratch! He's an officer!
Ever see an officer with two tails? [reveals Tails]
[gasp] The fox brat! I knew that!
Did not! You don't know anything! [sees that Tails got away] Hey come back here you dippy little mutt!
Feast your eyes on the most wonderful son, any man has ever built!
Uh, Dr. Robotnik? There's something you should know!
Yeah, next time you sit down, you're gonna get graffiti all over your chair!
What?! AAAAAAAUGH! YOU MISERABLE NO-GOOD THANKLESS BRAT!! You're just like me, when I was your age...perfect!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.