[While Jason plays with the Rockhopper and Michelle looks through a telescope in the attic, the ship magically comes to life and Jason meets the penguin troops for the first time]
Jason T. Conrad. We want your help!
Of course we are, kid. It's much easier to do our jobs that way.
Get in here, Jason. The galaxy waits for no man!
What? I can't. I'm too big.
Ah, too big, too big. When I was your size, I was twice your size. [to Fidgel] Dr. Fidgel, galeezle him.
FFidgel
Yes, right away. [fires the galeezle and a big claw comes out of the ship, grabbing Jason]
Hey! [gets reeled into the ship] I… I… I can't believe you guys are alive.
Either that or you're daydreaming.
FFidgel
That's true. Sensors indicate that he could be daydreaming.
But no time for small talk now, we've got work to do.
But what about my little sister? Was she coming too?
Don't worry, she will get a chance. But for now, you are the one that we wanted.
All right, guys, I think it's time that we briefed our new cadet. Now, listen. I'm Captain Zidgel. And that's my ship. Over there, we have Dr. Fidgel.
This is the ship's pilot and engineer, First Officer Midgel. And, um, [clears throat] that's, uh, Kevin.
[Kevin gets his head sucked into the hose]
Mostly, he just does that.
Penguins, we have to get out of here! The cutting-in-line bug is infecting us too!
Nonsense! But if it is, it infected me first.
You're all being ridiculous! I wanted to cut in front of you hours ago.
People! Don't you understand what happens when you get too close to the sun? You'll burn up!
[Michelle meets the penguin troops for the first time as the Rockhopper comes to life]
[calling for Jason, thinking it's for him] Um, Jason? This is for you.
Not so fast here! You are the one that we wanted, this time.
Jason's right. You guys are alive.
Either that or you're daydreaming.
Dr. Fidgel, galeezle her.
FFidgel
Right away, captain.
[Fidgel fires the galeezle and the claw pops out of the ship, grabbing Michelle]
FFidgel
[reels her in aboard the ship] Amazing, an exact duplicate of your brother, only with pigtails!
We are not identical twins, we're just the same age.
[showing a presentation of his baby pictures on the big screen] As you can see from these photos, I was strikingly handsome even as an infant. Now here's one with me on my mommy's lap. Oh, here I am looking adorable! And, ooh, there's my old high chair!
Uh, captain, the mission?
FFidgel
We are headed for Space Colony Doublewide. It's interstellar cyclonic doom funnel season there. And our cargo is their supply of emergency duct tape.
FFidgel
Yes, it's for lashing space colony modules together. Otherwise, they slip their moorings, and those fragile trailers bash each other in the high winds, until they're splintered into smithereens. If we don't get it there in time, the entire population is done for!
[when Kevin pulls out a spherical robot from the paper bag] What's that?
Not sure, really, I got it free with my Prune Trifle burrito.
[reading the name] "B-I-N-G, Beneficial Imprinting Neuralnet Gizmo."
Look, here's the button to start it. [presses a button on the back and a flashbulb pops out, flashing Kevin as he covers his eyes] Hey, you guys, check this out.
FFidgel
Most interesting. I believe that B.I.N.G. has somehow imprinted on Kevin's behavior, like a newborn duckling does with the first creature it sees.
[After saving the Space Colony Doublewide trailer park from the doom funnel, Kevin has no choice but to give B.I.N.G. to Professor Wordsworth]
FFidgel
[amazed after B.I.N.G. imprints the professor's behavior] Fascinating! Now B.I.N.G. is imprinted on the professor.
WProfessor Wordsworth
This is most kind of you, Kevin. We shall forever remember your act of goodness. Now then, B.I.N.G., shall we see what we can do to spruce things up a bit before everyone returns?
Goodbye, B.I.N.G. I won't forget you.
Did I miss something? Seems to me we're down one robot in the deal.
Kevin just realized that it was wrong to keep B.I.N.G. to himself when he had a chance to do good for the professor and the whole colony. "Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act."
[The Rockhopper arrives at Grandmum's cottage in the attic, preparing to send Jason and Michelle back]
Well, until next time, cadets!
JMJason & Michelle
Goodbye!
[As Fidgel fires the galeezle, the claw pops out and falls on the floor, covered in gum]
What happened?! Can't you see? The thing's broken!
FFidgel
[examines the gum] Hmm… Corn syrup, soy lecithin, and titanium dioxide, if I'm not very much mistaken. A construct otherwise known as…
Hubby chubby bubble gum! Oh, no! [angrily points to Michelle] It was you! You must have spit it out when the galeezle pulled us in!
I wasn't the only one with hubby chubby! You were chewing it too!
Well, I didn't do it! You must have done it!
Ah, ah! Temper, temper. Here we go, accusing each other again! Remember what old Sol told us: not smart without all the facts.
Well, the fact is we aren't going to be able to get back to Grandmum's and it's all Michelle's fault!
FFidgel
Well, um…it's not…Well, I can try.
"Try?!" Oh, no! We're going to stay this size? I'm only as big as my little finger!
Can you make it work again?
FFidgel
[pulls out a small, burned out device covered in gum] This is what makes it work. The metric magnetic matter disperser. The only one in existence as far as I know! Without this, the galeezle is useless! I fear the bubble gum has burnt it out.
FFidgel
Jason, Michelle, would you like a sandwich?
[disappointed about not getting back to Grandmum's cottage] No. I just want Grandmum's cocoa.
I thought you weren't talking to me.
I wasn't talking to you, you galeezle breaker!
I didn't break it. You did! Your gum must've come out when you were screaming like a baby.
[infuriated] Screaming like a baby?!
Yes, you always scream like a baby when galeezled into the ship!
[enters the main room after taking a shower with his hair all droopy; angrily accusing Kevin] KEVIN! YOU'VE BEEN INTO MY SHAMPOO AGAIN!
Calm down? Calm down?! [to Kevin] Listen to me! "Ridiculous proportions shampoo" is shampoo! Do you hear me? Shampoo! But you always use it as a body wash! A body wash! Do you know how much body you have to wash?!
[Kevin reacts with confusion]
Now, wait just a minute, captain. Didn't you say earlier that we shouldn't be too quick to accuse each other? [gasps in shock when he sees his Boomerangutan poster on the table; accusing Fidgel in outrage] Doc! Doc! What have you done to my poster?!
FFidgel
I-I just needed something to protect the table.
[frustrated] Do you know how much this is worth?! It was from the last tour of the Boomerangutans!
FFidgel
[retorting] Well, if you wouldn't leave your quarters in such a mess, how am I to know what's rare and what's rubbish?
[Jason and Michelle cover their ears, trying to block out the arguing]
What?! Now you're blaming me for this?!
We wouldn't even be here if you hadn't broken the galeezle!
[The Rockhopper pulls up at the Comet Lounge]
Captain's blog, we're going on a picnic.
So, what are we doing here?
Had to stop off for some supplies, first. Soda pop, sandwiches, you know.
FFidgel
[as they enter] Don't forget the chocolate bars and marshmallows!
Oh, great! I love eating s'mores!
FFidgel
Eating? Oh, no, I need them for a new fuel experiment.
Now don't take all day with your science project stuff, Doctor. We're here to get in, get supplies, and get out. No nonsense.
FFidgel
I assure you, my experiments are not nonsense.
What about the time you tried to make glass invisible so you can see through it?
FFidgel
Well, it worked, didn't it?
FFidgel
[opens the storage bay, but it's all piled up with junk] Oh, dear me.
What's got your knickers in a knot, doc?
FFidgel
Well, I'm scheduled to run a diagnostic test on the Harryhausen ray, but it's in the back of this storage bay, and I can't get to it.
Harryhausen ray? What's that?
FFidgel
Oh, it's simply a device that halts movement on a molecular level.
[not understanding] In the Queen's English, Fidge.
FFidgel
Yes. It stops action, freezes things in time and space.
Classic. But it looks like you could use some help.
FFidgel
Oh, why thank you.
If I see anyone available, I'll send 'em round.
FFidgel
[enters Jason's room, finding him laying lazily on his bed] Hello, Jason. I hear you're looking to earn some extra money for sea chimps?
FFidgel
Well, the storage bay is in a bit of a mess. What say I hire you to clean it?
Hire? You mean like a job? I'm kinda busy. Maybe later. Uh, doc? Turn the page for me. I can't reach.
Fidge, give me your spectrometer.
FFidget
No, you'll break it.
Can't he borrow it for a moment? He might be able to get us free.
FFidgel
No, he's never careful with my things. It's a delicate device.
But, doctor, what about Sol's cookie? What about sharing?
FFidgel
Well, what do you want it for, anyway?
I need to get back to the ship to get a fix on the pump, so you can find it, override the signal, and turn it back on.
Please? This is no time to be stingy.
FFidgel
[reluctantly] Don't get any sand in it.
Thank you. I'll head to the ship. You look around here, keep your communicator on.
Fidgel, come in! Do you read me?
FFidgel
Well, it's about time. They've got the captain trussed up like a Christmas package.
That's not good, I mean, unless it actually was Christmas.
[The Rockhopper arrives at the Comet Lounge and Jason, Michelle, and Midgel enter where the rest of the crew are already there]
Where's the Aurora Borealis punch?
FFidgel
Sol hasn't lit the sign, yet.
Whew. I'd hate to miss the Aurora Borealis. Best fruit punch in the galaxy.
FFidgel
Hey, I was in line first.
Captains first, then everyone else.
3-2-1 Penguins! · 43 quotes
