Mad Men quotes

136 total quotes

All Seasons  
Season 1
  Season 2   Season 3   Season 4  

Joan Holloway: Roger, if you had your way, I would be stranded in some paperweight with my legs stuck in the air.

Ken Cosgrove: [after Joan bends over in front of the 2-way mirror] I wanna stand and salute that.

Midge Daniels: [to Don on the phone as Peggy listens] I want you to pull my hair and ravish me and leave me for dead.

Midge's Friend: Dig. Ad man's got a heart.
Midge Daniels: The grown-ups are talking.
Midge's Friend: Don't defend him. [to Don] Toothpaste doesn't solve anything. Dacron sure as hell won't bring back those ten dead kids in Biloxi.
Don Draper: Neither will buying some Tokaj wine and leaning up against a wall in Grand Central pretending you're a vagrant.
Midge's Friend: You know what it's like to watch all you ants go into your hive? I wipe my ass with the Wall Street Journal.
Woman: How come every time we have a party the ladies have to sit and listen to the men talk?
Midge's Friend: Look at you. Satisfied, dreaming up jingles for soap flakes and spot remover, telling yourself you're free.
Don Draper: Oh, my God. Stop talking and make something of yourself.
Roy: Like you? You make the lie. You invent want. You're for them... not us.
Don Draper: Well, I hate to break it to you, but there is no big lie. There is no system. The universe is indifferent.

Paul Kinsey: Sterling Cooper is positively Cro-Magnon. I have a friend - I'm not even going to say what agency - but all they do is smoke Mary Jane and play darts. And honestly, I think they're the best store on the street.

Pete Campbell: I have ideas.
Don Draper: I'm sure you do. Sterling Cooper has more failed artists and intellectuals than the Third Reich.

Pete Campbell: The president is a product. Don't forget that.

Pete Campbell: What are you doing? Where are you going?
Don Draper: I'm going to take care of this right now.
Pete Campbell: Is this some sort of thing like in the movies where I have a gun and you don't think I'm going to shoot you? I will shoot you.

Pete Campbell: Why can't you give me what I want? I've earned this job. I deserve it.
Don Draper: Why? Because your parents are rich? Because you went to prep school and have a $5.00 haircut? You've been given everything. You've never worked for anything in your life.

Pete Campbell: You ever been hunting, Peggy?
Peggy Olson: No, I don't think so.
Pete Campbell: You either have or you haven't. I went a couple of times. With my uncle. New Hampshire.
Peggy Olsen: I saw my cousin shoot a rabbit by Coney Island.
Pete Campbell: It's an incredible sensation. You have to be very quiet. Take it down with the first shot or you scare it away. Then sometimes you have to go up and finish it off. Then you tie it to the bumper and go home. But do you know what I've always wanted to do? I would pick it up, throw its back legs over my shoulder, and I would drag it through the snow to this little cabin. And there, I'd hang it up between a couple of trees, cut it open, and drain it, dress it. Then I'd take my big hunting knife and I'd cut this loin right out the side. And I'd go into the cabin and there'd be this woman waiting for me. Standing by one of those old stoves with a big black pipe. And I'd hand it to her and she'd put it in a cast iron skillet and then I'd sit at the table. And she'd bring it to me. And I'd wipe my knife on my knee. And then I would eat it. While she watches.
Peggy Olsen:That would be wonderful.

Rachel Menken: It's hard to get caught in a lie.
Don Draper: It wasn't a lie, it was ineptitude with insufficient cover.

Roger Sterling: [after suffering a heart attack] All these years I thought it would be the ulcer. I did everything they told me, I drank the cream, ate the butter. Then I get hit with a coronary.

Roger Sterling: [to Don, about making a pass at Betty] At some point, we've all parked in the wrong garage.

Roger Sterling: I bet daily friendship with that bottle attracts more people to advertising than any salary you can dream of.
Don Draper: It's the way I got in.
Roger Sterling: So enjoy it.
Don Draper: I'm doin' my best here.
Roger Sterling: No, you're not. You don't know how to drink. Your whole generation, you drink for the wrong reasons. My generation, we drink because it's good, because it feels better than unbuttoning your collar, because we deserve it. We drink because it's what men do.
Don Draper: What about shaky hands, I see a lot of that with you boys?
Roger Sterling: No joke. Your kind with your gloomy thoughts and your worries, you're all busy licking some imaginary wound.
Don Draper: Not all imaginary.
Roger Sterling: Yeah, boo hoo.
Don Draper: Maybe I'm not as comfortable being powerless as you are.

Roger Sterling: I bet there were people in the Bible walking around, complaining about "kids today."
Don Draper: Kids today, they have no one to look up to. 'Cause they're looking up to us.