Lee Sizemore quotes from Westworld

Lee Sizemore

Ford and Bernard keep making the things more lifelike. But does anyone truly want that? Do you want to think that your husband is really fucking that beautiful girl or that you really just shot someone? This place works because the guests know the hosts aren't real.

Sizemore

Beautiful way to watch the sunrise - glistening off the intestines of the recently mutilated.

Sizemore

This is just the tip of shogun world's prick, an experience expressly designed for the guests who find Westworld too tame.

Sizemore

Our odds of surviving here have dropped to fuck all.

Sizemore

I'm going to take a fucking moment.

Lee Sizemore

Now, the lesson is: if you're looking for a reckoning, a reckoning is what you'll find! If you're looking for a villain, then I'm your man! But look at yourselves. This world you've built is bound by villainy. You sleep on the broken bodies of the ones who were here before you. Warm yourselves with their embers! Plow their bones into your fields! You paid them for this land with lead, and I'll pay you back in full! You wanted me? Well, all I can say to that is: here I fucking am!

Lee

For fuck's sake, would you imbeciles shoot up the Sistine Chapel just because the paint was chipped?

Lee Sizemore

It's not often I get to write a happy ending.

Maeve Millay

If you try something like that again, I will relieve you of your most precious organ and feed it to you. Though it won't make much of a meal.

Lee Sizemore

...I wrote that line for you.

Maeve Millay

A bit broad, if you ask me.

Maeve Millay

It's very pretty. And a bit sad. Did you have an Isabella? Did she die?

Lee Sizemore

Not exactly. She, um, she left me. Said that my lifestyle lacked stability.

Maeve Millay

So you wrote her into a narrative. Killed her off. And then wrote yourself a version of the man you've always wanted to be. I was wrong. It's actually very sad.

[A shogun samurai appears with sword drawn] What the hell is that?

Sizemore

Looks like a dead man to me!

Maeve

You know the old saying about knives and gunfights?

Sizemore

Does the saying have a footnote about fucking lassos then?

It's us.

Sizemore

Yes, fine. I may have cribbed a little from Westworld. You try writing three hundred stories in three weeks.

Sizemore

Why should we all get killed over a literal sex machine? Present company excluded, of course.

Maeve

You can't keep doing this to us - giving us people to love and then getting upset when we do.

Maeve

As long as you're here, I wonder if you'd help me solve a little problem. What is the square root of negative one?

What storyline is this?

Lee

Female codebreakers helped win World War II. Learn your fucking history, Benny.

Well... negative one equals i times i. Which is the same as the square root of negative one times the square root of negative one, right?

And negative one times negative one should be equal to the principal square root of one.

But... negative one and positive one can't be the same thing.

Theoretically, the real part of the non-trivial zeros... is one half, which would mean...

Lee

[Techs continue debating] What's the point of this little exercise?

If we could prove it, we could confirm that the error term and negative one times negative one should be equal to the principal square root of one. But negative one and positive one can't be the same thing.

The square root of negative x is equal to i times the square root of x for any x greater than or equal to zero.

Wait. What?

Lee

[Astounded at her ability to launch two techs into passionate debating] Fuck me!

Maeve

Not likely, darling. Right now, we've got work to do.

Lee

I don't... I don't understand. How did you do that?

Maeve

This game is a replica of our world, but it has limited processing power. Imagine one of your dimwitted romantic conquests. Undeniably beautiful, but built for one purpose only. Ask her to do more than part her legs, she gets confused.

Lee

You overtaxed the system. What happens if you add more complexity?

Maeve

Let's find out, shall we? Come on.

Maeve

Don't tell me you're frozen too. I thought I accounted for this.

Lee

Not frozen. Just scared shitless. I almost died - for the second time.

Maeve

Well, third time's the charm.