Touched by an Angel Season 1 quotes

Now there are gonna be hard times — war, money problems, and something called disco.

You don't know what you're dealing with here. I could break you like THAT!

Andrew: I hate Halloween! How's the Angel of Death supposed to compete with this kind of propaganda? I mean, this starts when they are kids, and by the time they're adults, they really think death is something scary.

Tess: Strapping sticks to your feet and sliding down a mountain is not fun. It's cold, it's wet, and if God had intended for us to ski, He would have created us at a 45-degree angle.

Monica: Hello, uh, Jett. My name is Monica. Do you mind if you answer a few questions?

Jett Rudin: Yeah, here's my quote: "Love to ski, hate to talk."

Monica: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

Jett Rudin: But I'm a sucker for older women, so, uh ... What's your angle? Best shot at Olympic gold? Daredevil on skis?

Monica: I thought I'd do a human interest story. Like how it was to grow up with and then compete against your best friend?

Jett Rudin: Will's more than a friend; he's like my brother. And we don't compete, we ski together. So, you hit the slopes much?

Monica: No. No, I have a hard enough time wearing shoes, let along ski boots.

Tess: Now this is a case, in my opinion, that never should have come to court in the first place.

Monica: The young man felt he had no other choice, Your Honor.

Martin Ashburn: Your Honor? Excuse me, Your Honor. Uh, we can solve this whole thing really easy. All you got to do is give me custody. I mean, that's what should have happened in the first place.

Tess: Did I ask for your opinion, sir?

Martin Ashburn: Um, I'm sorry, but she just doesn't pay him enough attention ever since she got married.

Phil Grabowski: You can't blame this on me.

Janet Grabowski: Your Honor, this man has not kept a single custody condition since our...

Tess: [bangs gavel] I want quiet and I want it now! Now, it doesn't take a lot of legal mumbo jumbo to show me that this is a situation that needs a time-out. I know a time-out is usually for children, but in this case, I cannot tell the difference between the adults and the children.

Martin Ashburn: [to his lawyer] She can't say that. Can she say that?

Tess: Mr. Ashburn, this is my court. I can say what I want to when I want to. And you get a chance to listen. Unless you want me to give you my decision now.

Martin Ashburn: No.

Tess: I didn't think so. Now if there ever was a situation that needed everybody to take a step back and let it settle, this is it. And so that's what we're going to do. In the meantime, Monica, who is the advocate for this minor child, is going to take some depositions. The rest of you are gonna take a deep breath and cool yourselves off.

Tess: I'm going to tell you a story. Two women were fighting over one child. It seems they both claimed to be the mother. And they couldn't settle the argument, so they went to wise King Solomon for a judgment. [notices Martin fidgeting in his seat] I know it's an old story, but it's a good one. So listen up. Solomon couldn't tell just by looking at them who was the true parent. And so he called for a sword to cut the baby in two, so that each woman could have a half. And one of the ladies said, "Well, good. That way we'll both lose." And the other lady said, "Oh, please, no, don't. Don't do that. I would rather that the child live with her than be harmed." And that's how Solomon knew the real mother from the pretender. Because the real mother did not care about winning. She just cared about her baby.

Martin Ashburn: Well, with all due respect, Your Honor, but that was a case between one real parent and one person pretending to be a parent. I mean, we're both real parents.

Tess: But both of you are willing to let your son get torn apart. A real parent wouldn't do that. Your son sees the sword coming. And he's been crying out for help. But you haven't heard him, because you've been so busy arguing all the time. And then he came to us. And we listened. And that's frightening you.

Janet Grabowski: Of course it is. No one is going to take my child from me.

Tess: Are you going to hold onto him so tightly that he tears in half, and you lose him anyway?

Phil Grabowski: Look, he's just confused. We're not losing him.

Tess: Not yet. But every time you fight in front of him, you pull further away, and he's more alone and angrier. And one day, that anger is going to express itself in a terribly ugly way. And the two of you are going to look at each other. "What happened? How could such a sweet child turn into such a bitter, hateful creature?" And the answer is, he grew up with two of them.

Monica: Gloria, you will find as you go along that God will give you what you need to know when you need it. The talent to sing, the skill of a surgeon, the eye of a photographer. Why, he's already given you the, the mind of a...

Gloria: Computer? I have an unlimited capacity to process and store data and retrieve memory. I mean, I can tell you all the components of that rose over there, but...

Monica: But?

Gloria: I can't tell you why it's beautiful. Although, I did read this morning that a thing of beauty is a joy forever.

Monica: Gloria, you've only been an angel for six days. You need to learn patience.

Gloria: I need to learn everything.

Tess: Yes, you do, and Monica and I have decided that an angel in training should have a solid background of the classics.

Monica: You have a wonderful 21st century sort of mind, but, well, it's hard to be a techno-angel without some context in history.

Gloria: History. Of course. I need to learn the history of the cell phone before I start actually using one.

Tess: We were thinking of something a little more historical.

Monica: We were thinking Genesis, Exodus, the Ten Commandments.

Gloria: Ten? Is that all?

Gloria: [after revealing herself as an angel] Now, granted, I'm not as experienced as some. Well, most. Well, all the angels, actually. But God chose me to talk to you. So there's got to be a reason.

Dennis Loggins: Maybe he doesn't think I'm worth wasting an experienced angel on.

Gloria: Oh, no, I don't think it's that at all. I think it's because you and I think a lot alike.

Dennis Loggins: What, I think like an angel?

Gloria: No. No, I think like a computer. Or sort of like a computer; I analyze things. And so do you. You think A plus B always has to equal C. You think if you make a lot of money and you're successful, then you'll be happy. And you think if someone's hurt you, then you have to get revenge. But people aren't computers. And relationships aren't equations. And if someone hurts you, revenge isn't the solution. You fell in love with someone who wasn't meant to be yours.

Dennis Loggins: That's not true.

Gloria: Oh, Dennis, it is true. If Melissa was meant to be yours, she would've been in love with you, too. And I know it hurts to hear that, but think of everything that's happened because you wouldn't believe it. You took the wonderful, positive dreams that you had and used them to create a cruel fantasy of revenge, to force a happy ending on a story that was never meant to be. Well, you have the power to make it happen now. Is it making you happy? Ricky dreamed of being a football star once. And now all he can dream of is to just have his wife for one more year. They've lost their world. All their dreams have changed. And yet, in it all, Ricky has found his soul. While you've come so close to losing yours. In ten years, who has truly become a successful man?

Dennis Loggins: [buries his face in his hand and sobs] Oh, my God. I wasted so much time.

Gloria: Oh, but God can redeem time, Dennis. God created time. Just as He created you. He loves you. And He's given you all the time that you need right now to do the right thing. Will you do it?

Dennis Loggins: I think God knows what He's doing. Because He sure sent me the right angel.

Edmund: Would you care for a fresh pot of tea, Your Ladyship?

Lady Penelope Berrington: Thank you, Edmund, but you ... You don't have to call me that anymore.

Edmund: I beg to differ, my lady.