You, uh, have me at a disadvantage, Mr. Tennyson. In a rather compromising situation. You force me into a position of rather distasteful candor. The truth is I am a fraud. I haven't any money. I offered you $1,000. Then $5,000. I would have had to go out into the street to beg even that amount, let alone a half a million dollars. It's true that I have pride, bearing, taste, exceptional breeding, but I lost most of my money some years ago. Now you have forced me to uncover the situation, proving, Mr. Tennyson, proving that of the two of us, you are by far the more substantial. And I will naturally resign. I will not ask you to suffer my presence any longer. (Tennyson stops him and frantically writes something down, silently gesturing him to read it out loud) "I knew I would not be able to keep my part of the bargain, so one year ago I had the nerves to my vocal chords severed.”
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