DKDane Kurtik
I never touched Christine Tanner.
Liar.
DKDane Kurtik
Believe me, when I tell you that you just now made the worst mistake of your miserable little life.
Believe me, no matter how this turns out, I've made worse mistakes.
S1 E3Red Tide
[Lisbon and Jane are interviewing a suspect]
See, the thing is, Flip, Lisbon here is looking at you like you're a pork chop, because you fit the profile. Your life is in chaos, you're lonely, you're depressed, you're addicted to drugs and pornography and a little nuts, to be honest. You're exactly the kind of man that does terrible things to women. But I don't think you did this.
S1 E4Ladies in Red
I look around, I don't see anyone here who could torture a man to death with pliers and a lit cigar.
Picture them naked and ravenously hungry.
Ew!
What were you thinking? Leaving this man alone at an event like that?
No excuses, I mistakenly treated him like a responsible adult.
[Talking about seduction]
Okay, I'll bite. What's the basic principle?
Cost you a dollar.
For what?
So you'll pay attention.
[Rigsby gives Jane a dollar]
Love and affection.
What?
Love and affection.
Give me my dollar back.
When you're seducing someone, what are you offering them? Love and affection. Who doesn't want love and affection. It's simple.
Seriously, give me my dollar back.
Seduction's not my strong point.
Seduction's easy once you know the basic principles. There's nothing to it.
Oh, really? Well, I don't see a crowd of women following you around.
Why would I want a crowd of women following me around?
[Talking about Jennifer Sands]
You're not soft on her, are you?
No...maybe a little. We need to talk to the lawyer--
Bennett. We need to talk to him. You need to stay well away. Did you say maybe a little?
She's a gorgeous grieving widow. Of course maybe a little. [Lisbon stares at him] Don't worry, it's not gonna affect my work. I'm a law-enforcement professional. Jeez.
[Talking about Grace]
I sent out the vibes. I got nothing back, okay? So I'm leaving her alone.
Vibes. Really? Vibes?
That's where he stares at the back of her neck for several hours. Women love that.
Oh, shut up, Cho!
You gotta go get her, man. You gotta seduce her.
[Investigating the crime scene]
[talking about Jason Sands] He's still here.
DCDet. Carla Mulvey
Not unless he's invisible. He's not, Agent Jane.
He's not an agent. He's a consultant.
No badge. No gun. [Whispering] They don't even give me dental.
DCDet. Carla Mulvey
Oh, yeah. You're the one they were telling me about, the psychic. Sorry, Gandalf. In our own bumbling way, we did look around pretty good. He's not here.
[Jane sits to join interview of Jason Sands's mistress]
AJAdrianna Jonovich
Ah, the handsome one.
[Jane smiles and nods]
AJAdrianna Jonovich
Gay, yes?
S1 E5Redwood
Hey, can you believe he fell for that old cell-phone gag?
Old cell-phone gag? I invented that right there and then. Rather brilliantly, I thought.
Oh, please. I've seen that done a dozen times.
What do you mean? Where?
On TV.
Oh, on TV. Well, anything can happen on TV. The question is, where have you seen that done in real life?
[Lisbon is on the phone with Jane and she has just realized that she's alone in a cabin with the killer]
Okay. Good. Listen, tell Rigsby, Teresa needs his help. [Jane gets her message and looks worried] Me? I'm at the Eagle Pine Lodge off Route 6.
Okay.
[Lisbon puts her phone in her pocket but doesn't hang up so Jane can still hear everything. She turns to face the killer and starts to reach for her weapon]
Kyle, let's stay calm and think this through.
KKyle
Think what through?
I really don't wanna shoot you, but I do have to take you into custody for killing Kara Palmer. What are we gonna do about that?
[Answering her phone] Where the hell are you?
Nicole remembered everything. She can describe the suspect. We're looking for a tall, well-built man with brown hair and glasses. Mid-thirties.
That's it? That describes half the men in California.
Yeah, that's it. But at least we know it wasn't her that killed Kara. And it wasn't Rulon Farnes.
Nice work. For this you illegally abducted her from the sheriff's custody?
Yeah, I was gonna tell you about it, but seeing that it's illegal, best to keep you out of it so you have deniability.
How considerate of you.
[Talking about a suspect]
Oh, let him go.
Let him go?
What for?
We had to fight to catch him.
Oh, you're such policemen. Yes, let him go.
RFRulon Farnes
So I gotta pay for a little human contact now and then. Shoot me. It's not my fault I look like this.
It is actually. With a low-carb diet and exercise you could look very different.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Mentalist pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.