TV show quotes
[activates an automatic dancing toy Santa] I can't believe people buy this crap.
I sense a Christmas speech coming on.
No, I just think people can celebrate a holy day without lying to children about a magical fat guy with a sack full of toys.
So you took the whole Santa revelation badly, huh?
It crushed my heart like a cigarette.
That explains why you're still looking for magic in your life.
LaRoche is looking for you.
Well, tell him I wish him luck.
Any time anything cuts you off from experiencing your life, it's unhealthy. Right?
Wouldn't know.
Listen, ahh, I'd, ahh, I'd like to convey my gratitude--
Easy, cowboy. You just met her.
You don't wanna go back there.
[imitates Alec Guinness as Obi-Wan Kenobi] These aren't the droids you're looking for.
Police, aren't you?
How'd you know?
Police and fine women always think they got a right to be wherever they're at. And you ain't no fine woman.
Mr. Lima, put your hands on your head where I can see 'em.
Mr. Mitchell left the ICU yesterday. But I'll be glad to pass on your best wishes.
Whatever. You got nothing. That notebook shorthand crap won't fly in court.
True enough. I happened to write that notebook shorthand crap myself.
A decision science consultant?
Don't start. This is way above us. If we're good to the feds, the feds will be good to us. When in doubt, don't act out.
You just made a rhyme. When are we ever in doubt?
Seriously, you start trouble and I will --
Burst my bubble?
If you're so sure that it's not the Caveman, why are you reading up on his file?
I like to read. I have insomnia. I don't like warm milk. I'm lactose intolerant. I could go on.
Did you know that habitual mockery is a strong indicator of depression?
No. But thank you for enlightening me.
Life is just one giant mathematical equation for you, isn't it?
I would like that, I confess.
Agent, I'm not opposed to extending a professional courtesy, but your man ignored a reasonable request from my officer and fled.
And he will pay the ticket.
Nah. Speed traps: legalized extortion. If you want people to slow down, park out in the open where they can see you, but no. You lay in wait like thieves in the night.
He will pay the ticket today.
I'm not going to pay it.
Jane.
I'm not going to pay it!
Stop. Stop!
[to the chief] Extortionists.
What is he doing? [to Lisbon] Could you please control your man?
Oh, believe me, she's tried.
How do you sleep at night?
Most nights, I don't.
Tell us about the victim.
Look! A hawk! Family of hawks. Ah, they're gone. Wow.
Rick Loomis. Been in town five months. He's dead in his truck by the creek.
Well, maybe he died of happiness - too much natural beauty. It's the Stendhal Syndrome.
No...
No?
He was shot in the head.
Oh, well. Never mind. [taking in the landscape] Beautiful!
Hey, Lisbon.
[Agent Hightower gets out of the truck]
No, Hightower! I didn't even know you had legs.
Let's go. What were you doing back there?
Five-card draw.
For money?!
No! For gold.
Oh, gold, gold. That makes it all right, then.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Mentalist pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
