Thank you for coming, everyone. I know these last few days have been very troubling.
VarrickTroubling? Troubling is when I get that itchy rash that won't go away, and Zhu Li's not around to scratch it. This is shocking. Nay, sickening! But these kale cookies? Opposite. Remind me to get the recipe later.
What's your point, Varrick?
Varrick
My point is, Unalaq's already booted our chieftains out of their palace. How long before he starts telling us what kind of cookies we can eat?
Probably a couple of days.
Varrick
Rhetorical question, Zhu Li. You gotta keep up. Not to mention I've got a cargo ship full of Halibut that's rotting, thanks to this harbor lockdown. Who wants to buy a ship full of stinking fish? Seriously, it's not rhetorical. I need to sell these fish.
Chief Unalaq is here to help the South. He wants to show us how to restore balance with the spirits so they'll stop attacking.
Varrick
The only spirit I'm interested in restoring is our spirit of independence! Am I right, people?
[The Southerners shout in agreement]
All Unalaq is trying to do is make our tribes unified again.
Varrick
No, he wants control of our wealth. My wealth. And I like my wealth. If Unalaq doesn't pull his forces out, then we have no choice but to fight for our freedom!
[The Southerners shout in agreement]
´You want to start a war? Are you crazy?
Unalaq started this, not us. [sighs] I'm sorry. Maybe you could speak with your Uncle. Tell him how frustrated we all are. He'll listen to what the Avatar has to say. Do it for me.
I'll do it for the tribe.
Where's Varrick? We should've closed our deal an hour ago.
Would you relax? This place is great. And the best part about it? Eska doesn't know I'm here.
[Eska and Desna enter, along with a few Water Tribe soldiers]
Eeyah. I wasn't hiding. Hey, hey-hey, hey.
I'm not on the hunt for you. Currently.
We search for Varrick. Our father wishes him to stand trial.
He is a traitor to the Water Tribe, along with our aunt and uncle.
Korra's parents were arrested?
Yes. Your powers of deduction are impressive.
WTWater Tribe soldier
Varrick's not here.
Very well. Desna, let us continue our search elsewhere. [to Bolin] Boyfriend! Bow to me when I exit.
Yes, yes, my sweet koala-otter.
You are so cute when you grovel.
Don't let her treat you that way! Stand up for yourself.
I tried to break up with her, but Mako gave me terrible advice! Thank you Mako!
Wait, how are your girl problems my fault?
Bolin, you need to be honest with her. Tell her how you really feel.
Varrick
(unseen, muffled) Honesty is for fools, kid!
Varrick
If you wanna ditch this girl, then make yourself scarce. Disappear, like I did!
Varrick
Somewhere Unalaq will never find me. (his face pops out of the stuffed platypus-bear's mouth) Inside Ping-Ping! How we doin'?
The coast is clear. You can come out.
Varrick
No way, mister. Not until I know it's absolutely 157 percent safe. (Zhu Li's hand appears and hands him a cup of tea) Ahh, thank you Zhu Li.
Your assistant's in there too?
Varrick
Zhu Li never leaves my side. (drinks the tea, then spits it out) Blecch, blech! You forgot the honey!
(muffled) Sorry, sir. There isn't any in here.
Varrick
No honey?! We're in a bear, for crying out loud!
Varrick
Guys, hey!! Whattaya think? Varrick Industries built this prison, and I had this cell made special. I had a feeling I'd end up here, one day. (grins) Zhu Li, come on! We got guests! Whip up a pot of that green tea I love!
Zhu Li's in prison with you?
Varrick
Of course! I don't go anywhere without my assistant. Do you?
(angrily) We're not interested in your tea, and this isn't a friendly visit.
Varrick
Don't tell me you guys are still mad about everything that happened?! I did some good things, too! Korra, who warned you about Unalaq? I did. (Korra looks guilty) Bolin, who got you into the movers? I did. (Bolin looks guilty) Asami, who saved your company? I did. (Asami looks guilty) Mako, who got you thrown in jail? I did! (Mako looks angry) Oh, yeah, I guess that was a bad thing.
You stole everything from me, and you tried to kidnap the President! Those are pretty bad, too.
Varrick
I wasn't going to hurt him, I just needed to start a war! Well, a bigger war.
Well, we're gonna end it! Where's all the stuff you stole from Asami?
Varrick
The Future Industries stuff? It's on my battleship.
Varrick
Of course I do! I bought the first one they made! Named her the Zhu Li.
You named your battleship after your assistant?
Varrick
Yep! They're both cold, heartless war machines.
Varrick
Sorry we're late, everyone.
Varrick
Great question, Asami. I mean, what are any of us doing here? Wow. Food for thought. Anyhoo, how's our company doing?
You mean my company? Future Industries reverted back to me after you plotted to abduct the president.
Varrick
Allegedly plotted to abduct the president. Never convicted.
Uh, that's because you escaped prison.
Varrick
No, the universe decided to set me free. So I looked up my old friend Suyin here, pitched her a few ideas, and bam! We're in business together.
Varrick's heading up my new technology division.
Varrick
I've seen the future, and the future is magnets! I'm working on a high-speed rail that'll revolutionize transportation and shipping as we know it. But that's not all! I'm...
All right, enough! I'm trying to keep the Avatar safe, and you're harboring a criminal?
Ease up, Lin. Sure, Varrick's made a few mistakes in his past, but that doesn't mean he should pay for it the rest of his life. My chef was a pirate, but now he's a culinary master. People change.
You haven't. [storms out]
Varrick
So, the trouble begins when the Avatar is trapped in the Spirit World. The world's most evil villains realize that with Korra out of the way, the time is right to try to take out Bolin. So, the worst of the worst team up. They're led by ... Zaheer, leader of the Red Lotus and master of the skies, a flying chaotic chaos machine! He's joined by ... Vaatu, the ultimate force of pure spirit evil in the universe. The biggest, meanest, scariest kite that ever flew!
Wait! Zaheer didn't team up with Vaatu. How would that even happen?
Varrick
How do you think?
Glad I caught you at home. [chuckles]
Uh-huh. Very funny. Like I can leave this stupid tree.
Hold on, let me conference in—
Varrick
Amon! The reanimated zombie body of the bloodbending leader of the Equalists!
Hey, guys, I'm totally in for taking out Bolin. He's way too powerful and awesome. But can we please not include—
Varrick
The evil Unalaq. The diabolical but incredibly boring and unpopular sorcerer from the north, who's listening in on the other line!
I've spent my life trying to defeat Nuktuk, I mean, Bolin, and I know just where to find him.
The Legend of Korra · 160 quotes
